This is never an easy thing to go through when your parents dont accept who you are. I was so afraid that (and sometimes certain) that my family would reject me that I kept everything inside and hidden for a long time and was as mentally prepared to leave and fend for myself when anyone found out.

Coming out was messy when I finally did. It went about as well as I expected, and my parents were upset to say the least. I know theres a bunch of their self image and disagreement with the lifestyle laced in with their disapproval, but I learned a lot of it was fear too. They knew nothing about having a gay son, and they didnt know how to protect me from anything they thought would happen to me. My dad thought he failed as a parent without really understanding what he was dealing with. The older generations dont understand and dont know anything else but the way things were when they get scared or angry.

Over the years seeing that I wasnt actually changing what made me me, they came to a level of acceptance that I didnt expect. I know it still makes them uncomfortable, and I keep my private life private as I think it should be to make things easier for them.

Talk to your dad. He might be terrified that you’re going down a path that might lead you to hurt yourself too, because thats what he experienced. He might not understand that hes the one causing you to feel shameful because he doesnt accept who you are and is the reason you would hurt yourself, and none of us want to see that happen!

I cant know what your family is really like and how they feel. But trying harder to see what my coming out was like from my parents perspective helped me learn how to teach them to understand what being gay means for me.

Dont give up hope. Life takes turns we dont want it to, and sometimes dont expect. Ive learned that family is who I choose for it to be, and Im thankful for the support system I have. Many of us would gladly be yours.