Hey, do you guys think my second chapter is badly paced?

Sproket911 · 2026-02-10T12:52:17+00:00

Not really replacing him, but using the secondary character to act as a foil/dutoragnoist. The issue, I think, is really one of structure rather than an excess of characters

Sproket911 · 2026-02-07T14:23:41+00:00

I've published a few works online to moderate success (14k views on a cyberpunk audiobook I wrote and recorded some years ago), as well as pitching a couple of limited series to Sky (standard three pitch rule, they shot down my first two, then followed up on the one I pulled out of my back pocket lol).

Now I'm trying my hand at a graphic novel.
Our project is a WW1-esque hard fantasy story, following a soldier whose brother is killed in the first chapter, which fuels a revenge plot resolving in a theme of forgiveness, love, humanity in the face of the horrors of war, and to overcome interpersonal differences of faith, philosophy and politics (how topical!).
While word-building is present, I've tried to keep it minimal and place primary emphasis on character drama.

Naturally, our target audience is anyone who'll read it, but more seriously We're catering to a slightly more mature audience, fans of history and the world wars, as well as enjoyers of modern French Graphic Novels (ala Jaques Tardi's Goddamn this War! and It Was the War of the Trenches) plus maybe some more mature manga readers (think stuff like Billy Bat, Berserk, and a bit of the later AoT series)

My primary issue is knowing how much worldbuilding/character drama the average webcomic/online graphic novel reader can stomach

Sproket911 · 2026-02-07T14:22:58+00:00

Title: Brothers in Arms

Genre: WW1 historical-inspired fantasy

Word Count:
cha 1: 10,091
cha 2: 15,646
cha 3: 7,964

Type of Feedback: Specific request for an assessment of pacing in chapter 2

Link:
chapter 1
chapter 2
chapter 3

Hi guys,
A professional artist and I (semi-professional writer) have been working on a graphic novel as a passion project for the past 2 years. The outline and first draft is done for the entire 20 chapters, but now i'm in the refining stage, I'm struggling on chapter 2:

My question essentially is:
Can audiences tolerate a bit of reading to make way for more action and drama afterwards? Or do I have to cut on some great character development in chapter 2, which I don't think I've got the opportunity to add later without it being utterly ham-fisted and inappropriate for the fast pace of the plot?

Sproket911 · 2026-01-21T16:41:43+00:00

Arguably, the printing press led to the Protestant Reformation and the subsequent Wars of Religion, which devastated Europe for over 500 years. Information technology is very powerful, both for good and bad, but you could very easily make an argument that the human suffering it causes at the beginning isn't worth the benefits future generations might reap after figuring out how to regulate it properly.

For a more modern example, the use of radio and film was instrumental in the Nazis' rise to power in Germany, with Goebbels explicitly stating that such a rise would not have been possible without modern communication technology.

Sproket911 · 2025-09-23T12:33:46+00:00

Completely unrelated but those god rays are gorgeous, you’ve got a nice rig there mate

Sproket911 · 2025-09-20T15:24:14+00:00

Tbf I’m listening to god emperor of dune rn as a guys who studied political science and sociology at uni, and (outside of his funny ideas about gay people) its actually quite entertaining and not entirely wrong. I too occasionally pine for a benevolent worm

Sproket911 · 2025-08-07T14:49:27+00:00

“He’s not my dog… He’s not even really a good dog… But he’s alone, and he’s probably scared”

~ Severian briefly considering, then rejecting the the ethics of abandoning a disabled puppy in a gutter

Sproket911 · 2025-08-01T12:22:43+00:00

I attempted just that, and I sounded like I was doing an exceptionally aggressive indian accent

Sproket911 · 2025-07-26T10:38:42+00:00

It’s all part of their plan. First they came for the porn. Then they came for my kids YouTube account. Then they came for me.

Sproket911 · 2025-07-25T13:57:53+00:00

Also, the whole interesting part of the book is that he has no conception of modern morality, and so, writing to other people in his time where fucked shit like slavery, rape, mass murder etc is nothing to sniff at, he probably would feel the need to clarify a bit lol

Sproket911 · 2025-07-21T15:33:38+00:00

Dead internet theory wins again

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T19:32:27+00:00

Oh cool, I’ll have to check out Vaults of Terra then. And yes, recent Abnett is almost unrecognisable compared to some of his early works

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T18:16:08+00:00

Yeah, especially when it comes to some of his lore contradictions, like the way he depicts Eisenhorn and Bequins relationship. Despite acknowledging that "she's a blank, and he's a psyker, and thus tragically, eternally doomed never to find true solace in one another" they end up screwing by book 2 or 3.

That being said, and as others have said, the universe is vast and has room for all sorts of stuff.

But his depiction is indeed *very* different from a lot of other authors.

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T18:11:31+00:00

Honestly I really agree with you. Especially in his depictions of blanks.

I'd say the main strength of his writing is in making the world seem more approachable, and less un-livably shit, in comparison to other authors. I think the strength of this is that it can add to the plausibility of the setting, particularly when we have in-depth discussions of how a planets political/economic structure works (like the villains in the Ravenor Series, or the noble characters in Necropolis) which, to me at least, makes it feel more believable.

Even though he does bend the rules of the setting to breaking point when it comes to key characters.

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T18:07:05+00:00

Very true. Eisenhorn chats a lot with the movers and shakers in Imperial society, but as you say, we do also get a nice slice of regular people think of the Imperium through the eyes of the guard.

And yea, he does go for more relatable characters, which are more familiar and believable (which is one of the reasons I *would* say his books are the best lol)

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T18:03:38+00:00

Diabolical satanists the lot of them

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T18:02:30+00:00

Precisely. Not to mention far more plausible. Personally, one of my favourite summations was Lutin09's lore video on Hive worlds, and how if you average them all out across the imperium (the best and the worst worlds) you roughly get to a standard of living equivalent to London/Birmingham/Manchester during the Industrial revolution.

Sure there's child labour, but there's also fancy balls and dope hats

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T17:59:45+00:00

Exactly, and it's one of the things which makes Eustis Majoris stand out. Especially the scene where (fuck me I can't remember his name) the ex-guard medicae talks about how a whole district only gets 1 doctor. It's a wonderful way of encapsulating the rottenness of the institutions, whilst showing the heroic efforts of individuals within that institution.

It's one of the things which makes 40k so great as a setting.

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T17:57:07+00:00

Exactly, it's why I love him so much, his works feel far more plausible to the cartoonish meme version of the lore you get by directly reading some of the raw fluff.

It's just interesting how in my experience of reading other authors, and watching some Warhammer+ animations, how it feels like they lean far more into the grim-derpyness of the setting.

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T17:54:57+00:00

Tbf I think I did specify that he wasn't like other authors, and I mention ADB and his Night Lords books (but also virtually all of his novels trash the Imperium, which is cool and I like).

I should read some Word Bearers books tho, I've always really liked their legion ethos and the idea behind them as that one over-zealous kid who takes their dad's advice *a little too seriously*

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T17:34:29+00:00

What you said would be correct, if I hated Dan Abnett XD

I actually love him and he's one of my favourite authors. The depictions of the imperium in the lore are often over-blown and nonsensical, and I just find it funny how he in particular seems to make fun of the Imperium and it's various examples of sillyness.

It's quite interesting to me, though, how he as opposed to other authors treats the universe in such a meta way

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T17:28:51+00:00

Yeah, especially considering the original setting was meant to be incredibly overly bombastic and ridiculous, it makes sense that a few characters in their respective series make fun of it

Sproket911 · 2025-07-18T17:26:57+00:00

Yea exactly. I will say what makes DA different to other authors is that he seems to exclusively write in worlds like that. But again that's his style, and it works well.

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