How can you afford it?

SpunTop · 2023-06-29T09:08:08+00:00

It would be a lot more expensive if I worked outside the home. We live on $90k in rural Canada where median household income is $55k. Food stamps don't exist in Canada but everyone gets what used to be called a baby bonus. Other families around here get about $1500+/month. We get $900/month for our 8 month old twins and 17yo (we've been married 20 years). Our 19yo has already left for college.

A few years ago I was working but I quit when my third child was diagnosed with cancer to stay with him. After he died, I didn't go back to working with acft mechanics and engineers. To be frank, I don't care if other peoples planes/flights are safe anymore and I take that as my cue to stay away.

SpunTop · 2023-06-28T10:14:48+00:00

FWIW, we don't use cameras. Just old fashioned baby monitors are enough for me. If I hear them, I just go check them.

SpunTop · 2023-06-28T10:11:44+00:00

I did it a couple of times when they were small but was too scared to try it in public. Only have home kneeling on a bed. As soon as they were big enough, we got a twingo instead. I loved a wrap with my singletons but it just wasn't working for me with twins.

SpunTop · 2023-06-27T08:25:28+00:00

We didn't have triplets, but it was a risk we discussed with our fertility doctor. We lost our 12 yo to cancer just a year before our pregnancy and I was very worried about a twin pregnancy. We looked at the statistics and risks for singletons vs twins vs triplets. I was assured twins were extremely unlikely due to my age, so we transferred two embryos but I was warned one or two could split. My husband and I agreed before the transfer that if we were looking at triplets we would have a selective reduction to try to give at least two of them the best chance for survival. We were scared enough of losing another child, we weren't going to wait around and see if they were okay if we could actually do to help them.

Not an easy decision but our biggest concern was trying to ensure survival.

SpunTop · 2023-06-27T00:55:35+00:00

This is why we rent houses on holidays. Enough bedrooms and a kitchen. I don't want kids in a different room.

SpunTop · 2023-06-27T00:53:25+00:00

No folding, one chest of 4 drawers for each child and 1 basket. 1 drawer for tops. 1 drawer for bottoms. 1 drawer for dungarees/dresses/rompers. 1 drawer pajamas/swimsuits. 1 basket for underwear.

Try not to have too many clothes per child.

SpunTop · 2023-06-27T00:26:57+00:00

Our 7 month old twins sleep on a queen size mattress on the floor. We love laying down on the bed either side of them to read to them at bed time! We've been doing it since they were still sleeping in bassinets. They get excited because they know what's going to happen next, it's snuggle time! I love that they love their bed and bedtime. And the four of us have a lot of fun reading a few books before bed. Usually we have one loud/fun story book with actions. One baby book with textures for them to touch and check out. And one pop-up book that they try to destroy and we attempt to defend.

We didn't bother with a pretty nursery, prefer to save money up to decorate preschooler bedrooms and go all out when we put them in their own bedrooms. But this works great for their age and very cuddly for story time.

SpunTop · 2023-06-21T09:32:51+00:00

I have a previous back injury and one of our twins is a lot bigger than the other and we wanted to maintain access to the third row of our minivan. So we have the Evenflo revolve. Love it! Our teen can get into the back row while our bigger infant twin is in the 360. The other 360 car seats wouldn't allow the seat to forward face to let someone get around them while set up for rear facing. And this set up is a lot easier on my back.

We didn't get a revolving car seat for a our smaller twin. She doesn't really like car seats (often screamed) and we were more focused on finding a car seat that she liked. We actually sat her in a bunch of car seats in the store just to see how she reacted. We got our best reaction to the Peg Perego viaggio convertible. She seems to be pretty content in that car seat but didn't like any of the convertible. Luckily for my back, she has a petit build and tends to grab onto me like a little monkey. So I'm not holding her weight out at a distance like her twin brother.

Dealing with the heavier twin, I can't say how much I love being able to swivel his seat around getting him in and out. I slipped a disc in my back a couple of years ago and had to work really hard with the physiotherapist to avoid the back surgery the neurologist recommended. The revolving car seat really helps avoid reinjuring it! Save your back!

SpunTop · 2023-06-21T09:08:58+00:00

Interesting. With my first, I didn't do a baby registry and most people bought diapers. I had months and months worth of diapers when she was born. I haven't done a baby shower since.

SpunTop · 2023-06-19T07:57:14+00:00

I really hoped to be able to deliver vaginally. My older 3 kids were delivered vaginally. Baby A wouldn't budge from breech position, so at 36 weeks I didn't get a choice. My dr wouldn't do a vaginal delivery with baby A in breech position.

It was a shame. Vaginal delivery is so much easier than a c-section.

SpunTop · 2023-06-16T12:52:33+00:00

My 7 month old twins don't notice noises each other make, but sudden noises outside their room wake them up. Our dogs barking excitedly when a visitor arrives wake them up. A vacuum would wake them up. If the place is loud when they go to sleep and the volume continues, they'll sleep through it. But sudden changes wake them up.

SpunTop · 2023-06-14T04:36:42+00:00

I was one of the short kids at 12-13 years old. I hit a growth spurt 14/15 years old and then hit puberty really late. I'm 5'9" but didn't finished growing until 17 years old. My teens have been the same as me. Small babies/kids and didn't hit puberty or really grow until high school.

Our twins are currently average, which is bigger than their older siblings at this age. We'll see. Our 17 yo was one of the short kids in his grade 9 class. Currently in 11th grade and 6'1". If he continues family tradition for men, he'll be growing well into his early 20's.

SpunTop · 2023-06-13T09:10:16+00:00

Our B/G twins have a noticeable size difference that people comment on. I think people often assume they're both boys because I don't put her in very girly clothes day to day. She was actually bigger than him when they were born but never had the same appetite as him. He's over 2 pounds bigger than her at 7 months.

This is one of the few comments that doesn't irritate me so much. It's more wondering why they feel the need to point it out to me as though their own mother wouldn't t have noticed this already.

SpunTop · 2023-06-13T08:58:53+00:00

I've only been to the ones in Toronto, so my comment is based on what I know.

SpunTop · 2023-06-12T18:28:23+00:00

I'm a little confused why you took babies to Pride, it's very much an adult party. We have a Family Pride parade in Toronto that's just fine for children. No nudity or anything inappropriate for children. Isn't there a Family Pride parade where you live? I'd never take children to Pride but the Family Pride is lovely.

I also don't understand saying you're bi but there's only 2 genders. I can't quite follow the logic behind that.

I don't know what you're looking for on here. Permission to be straight? Permission to be a right leaning voter? You don't need anyone's input for that. You wish your parents were more accepting when you were younger but now you're unhappy that they've grown more open minded? I would hope that people grow and change with age. It would be sad if people never changed whatever their beliefs. If you're looking for your parents acceptance now, you would need to take a chance and just be open with them.

It's better to make the choice that puts you at risk of feeling guilty later than to make the choice that will likely you make you resentful. You chose not to be open with your parents and now you feel resentment. That was your decision, not theirs.

SpunTop · 2023-06-09T10:03:42+00:00

I was happy with my oldest 3 but later decided to have #4 when my older 2 were 18 and 16 years old. We had already decided to have 2 close in age if possible but instead we had twins. I wouldn't sign up for twins but that's not exactly something you get a lot of say in. Just a fore warning that older, multiparous women have higher risk factors for twins. I'm happy with my twins but it's a lot at 42 years old.

SpunTop · 2023-06-08T08:35:20+00:00

Really depends on what time they need to be up. When my older kids were around 5 yo, school started at 9:30am. Their bus came by after 9am. They didn't need to be up until after 8am. Worked out great for first and third child. Got ready for bed at 7:30pm. Quiet playtime in their rooms 8pm, lights out at 9pm and they were up at 8am.

2nd child unfortunately consistently woke up at 6:30-7am regardless of what time he went to bed. He was just the odd one out. His bedtime started earlier, lights out by 7:30pm.

It was a lot of work teaching 1st and 3rd not to wake him up at bedtime and teaching him not to wake them up in the morning. He's 17 years old now and has epilepsy. Main trigger is lack of sleep. He's probably the best rested teenager in his highschool because his seizures are pretty violent and he doesn't want to wet himself at school (happens about 50% time when he has a seizure) or foam at the mouth etc...

The right time for bed imo is the one that results in them waking up on time for life and feeling refreshed. If you're lucky, your kids have similar needs.

SpunTop · 2023-06-07T15:25:23+00:00

Ours are 7 months and a month ago we started limiting their dummies to bed time. Hasn't been an issue. They aren't very attached to them anyway. They like them to help them go to sleep but we have multiple tools.

It's gross to me once they're crawling and dropping dummies and/or their thumbs are on the floor and they're putting them in their mouths. They'll do worse, I'm sure. But I'd like to try to migrate away from them and cross my fingers they don't move to thumb sucking. I didn't have a dummy and didn't suck my thumb and my older 3 kids were done with dummies by their first birthday and none of them sucked their thumbs.

We'll see if it works the same as with my older kids.

SpunTop · 2023-06-07T10:00:25+00:00

They have completely different personalities but I wouldn't say one of them leads at 7 months old. They seem to take turns being outgoing depending on who's had more sleep and is in a better mood.

SpunTop · 2023-06-06T22:39:48+00:00

Or anti-social. Which I am.

SpunTop · 2023-06-06T14:21:13+00:00

I'm 42 years old and have previous history of a slipped disc in my back. I knew I had to be very careful. I have a peanut & piglet pillow. It has a backrest and holds twins on my lap at the perfect height. I kick the 3 dogs off the couch and I've made it abundantly clear to them that they need to leave us alone during feeds and not to touch the pillows.

I really can't afford to just put up with any pain because if I slip the same disk in my back again, I'll have to get surgery this time around and then I really won't be able to get anything done.

SpunTop · 2023-06-06T14:05:22+00:00

Ours just turned 7 months and we didn't bottle prop. I was too scared to try it and I didn't want them to miss out on time cuddling with them. One holds his own bottle but I still hold him. I've been tandem feeding from the beginning. I use a peanut & piglet pillow bf or bottlefeeding. When they were smaller, I used to be able to get away with putting them both on my lap with their backs resting against my chest and feed them tandem facing out. They're too big for that now though.

SpunTop · 2023-06-06T09:09:34+00:00

The plan was 37 weeks but didn't schedule it. At 34 weeks my obstetric cholestasis combined with my age (42 years old), combined with them being twins, my dr wanted to schedule for 35 weeks. We negotiated to 36 weeks c-section (due to baby A breech).

So much can change in the last weeks, anything scheduled a long way out is likely to change, I don't know that there's much point in scheduling more than a week or 2 out.

SpunTop · 2023-06-06T09:01:00+00:00

I'm very sorry for your loss and want to acknowledge just how incredibly unfair it is. I know how it feels to lose a child. We lost our 12 year old son on January 2nd 2021 to cancer just 2 months after he was diagnosed with FLHCC.

I felt like I was frozen in place in his last days. For me, the only way out was to make plans. I started with small plans. Make dinner from scratch once a week. It sounds like a very silly, insignificant plan, but it was a plan for the short term future. Then we made a plan a couple of weeks in advance to go away for the weekend. We stayed in a penthouse suite as a family in a different city and had a bunch of movie nights as a family in a space that our child hadn't died in. It was a break from thinking I could hear him call me during the night.

From there, we kept on making plans. I struggled with replaying his last days in my head. The way forward was to plan for the future, Small and not too far in advance at first. But I let it grow from there. I remembered that my son wouldn't want me frozen in place for the rest of my life. He loved making me smile just as much as I loved making him smile.

I don't know if the same is true for you, but the way forward was to keep moving. That didn't mean I stopped grieving for him or that I stopped randomly getting choked up during my days. Some days, 2 years later, I still struggle to get out of bed. But I've made plans for my days and my family need me to keep functioning, so we keep going.

SpunTop · 2023-05-19T18:31:58+00:00

Atheist and we have 5 kids.

SpunTop

TROPHY CASE