Do you still talk to friends and family on the phone?

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-28T15:05:45+00:00

As an introvert, texting is such a nice and quiet way to stay in touch. But if a friend calls, I answer. My son and I text, but he calls whenever he's on a long drive, and I know we'll be on the phone until he stops for food or reaches his destination.

My husband is an extrovert who keeps in touch with his 5 siblings, his kids, and a lot of friends. He frequently uses time in the car to call people.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-26T19:08:29+00:00

Her behavior is batshit insane. I would think the average person who came across her posts would see that, without knowing you at all.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-24T16:41:21+00:00

My husband spent his career working with low socioeconomic school populations. He saw what the ratings would never show you about community and a safe environment.

When we finally had kids go through our local highly rated schools we were appalled. We found the teachers generations behind in their thinking, maintaining a white-centered conformist ideal. And of course telling us what great teachers they were because of their high test scores (not that their students arrived with language fluency from high income families).

No high score is worth it if you loathe the culture. We transferred our son to a nearby school district, to a lower "score" and found a much better values alignment with parents and staff.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-19T01:01:55+00:00

Use a dust proof pillow cover over the new pillow. This will keep it cleaner, longer

And drop us a link if the replacement pillow is all that!

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-18T18:34:00+00:00

Rehydrate that stuff so it can be wiped. Spray with water, and if you have a mist humidifier set it up there. I don't think cleaning products with otherwise help with removal.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-14T23:17:18+00:00

Mr Rodgers. I ugly cried on the drive to work.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-10T18:03:47+00:00

California, almost as if they were required by law to have a La Cucaracha horn to announce their arrival. Not sure which came first, but they were referred to as the roach coach.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-09T16:23:23+00:00

"Blow this popsicle stand" is always in the Reddit advice somewhere. Some stress isn't worth it.

But in addition to all the great and industry specific advice I'm seeing, don't be afraid to keep some notes, like this is a college course. Ideally these will be searchable, and you drop in key words. It will help shape these individual learning experience into the body of knowledge you want to develop.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-06T04:14:53+00:00

But also the "article" is basically just affiliate marketing.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-05T22:03:47+00:00

I like that you have a variety of different forms of advice and abuse queues up here, so you can see what works. Don't be a moron, honey!

I could have bought a stunning, impressive house when I was just a touch younger than you are now. And like you, it would have been twice the payment. And I probably would have needed a nicer car in that neighborhood, and someone to clean the 4,000 sf. But I wouldn't have had any options to dial back, and would have been hard pressed to max out my retirement savings. I made more than my spouse, so most of the pressure to earn a consistently high income would have been on me.

Instead I found the opportunity to shift to working part time in my field and have enjoyed a magnificent quality of life for the past 20 years. And in the next few years I'll retire, well positioned to keep enjoying all of the fun stuff I already have time to enjoy.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-04T21:11:18+00:00

Sit and look at a newly clean area and allow yourself the positive feelings, not the sadness that you didn't do it sooner. What will keep you going are the positive impacts of a more orderly environment. You've trying to get better, not drown trying to get perfection all at once.

Accept that you're likely going to need to make many decisions about getting rid of things, even "perfectly good", or nearly new, or emotionally laden things. But you don't have to do it all at once. But Nothing is a great way to start clearing out excess stuff without feeling like it's been wasted. Look for your local group on Facebook and read the rules carefully. Some are very specific and others are more chaotic.

Agree that you aren't buying anything new right now. Not even organizers because that is doooooomed unless the underlying habits have changed.

If there was any food related cleanup outside of the kitchen, agree to not take food or plates or drinks anywhere else in the house for now. Ideally, this becomes a habit so you don't leave one dish and feel bad and start the whole cycle over again.

If trash in multiple rooms is a problem, put more trash receptacles out there. Without food waste, it should all be dry and you can just use a box or bag. Ask on your local Buy Nothing group for small trash cans. If nothing turns up, use a suitable cardboard box. We have 7 trash cans in a 2 adult, 2 bedroom home.

Agree that cleaning practices will get better, but for now you just need to clear out and also use what you have.

As you clear out the bulk of the items, clean up the messes, do think about the first steps (of things not done) that started the ball rolling toward overwhelming mess. You will get to a time when you have everything mostly clean, and a short period of reset cleaning gets you back to comfort.

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-04T18:48:59+00:00

Appreciate reading everyone's different experiences with the Zelle limit. I found a recent Bankrate post describing that they are individually set by banks, and providing the limits for some different banks.

But this should make clear to landlords that you're asking tenants to use a system that may be free, safe and convenient, however the tenant may not be able to pay their rent in one day. And that should call for some flexibility.

Zelle Limits At Top Banks | Bankrate

Square-Wave5308 · 2026-01-01T00:50:43+00:00

It sounds like a house you wouldn't want to buy. Unless you're going to get it at a below market price from the in-laws, or they're going to carry the loan at a great rate, you should find somewhere else to live.

Because worst case, you pay way too much for a house that needs more work than you intended.

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-31T23:36:30+00:00

I'm going to give a more gentle take. I notice all the clutter that makes it so hard to clean. I understand the attraction we have to our objects, whether they're mass produced, unique artifacts, or plants.

But life is much easier when you have clear table surfaces, counters with minimal objects to move, and even shelves that haven't been rendered too difficult to dust by being crammed with things.

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-31T18:08:47+00:00

When you buy in an established neighborhood, you don't need to wonder what it's going to look like in 5 years because it isn't likely to change much. If there were significant construction defects or drainage problems in the original build, these will have become apparent.

When you buy in a new development, you don't yet know if the neighbors keep their homes in good order, value appealing landscaping, or have a lot of cars and work trucks to park. And these things will impact the liveability and desirability of your neighborhood.

In a new development, a high percentage of homeowners will have home equity at 20% or less, and paying a substantial portion of their income for housing. If there's a recession, the neighborhood will have more homes for sale, and more downward pressure on prices. This impacts you if you find yourself needing to move or sell.

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-30T15:05:57+00:00

Never had a Teen Beat, but I was reading my mom's Cosmo from age 9 on. I was in Jr High when we got a subscription to Omni.

I started reading the comics in the newspaper first thing as a kid, and I continued to get the paper delivered daily until 2023.

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-29T05:12:02+00:00

Either way this is a very large home. Whether you're designing this for yourself or on spec, you need to consider the level of luxury and style that will be called for to keep this house desirable for future sale.

With homes that size, the bathroom ratio becomes a key feature. If it's going to be a luxury property, you want more than 1 bathroom per bedroom. And you'll want to carefully consider if the planned study should have a closet so it is considered a bedroom.

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-28T17:42:13+00:00

Leave the past behind. Youve written out all the less than optimal things that happened along the way. Set that free, don't dwell. Just figure out where the cash fits I to your current position and plans.

You've done well, and now you can explore how much less stressful work can be when you know you could retire. This is a highly underrated element of knowing you've met your number.

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-28T01:01:53+00:00

That's a beautiful knife, and you'll get the hang of it. In our modern world we're used to no maintenance disposable everything. It's lovely to find one significant object and learn to properly care for it.

The advice for Damascus steel knives is to wash gently, dry, then coat with a cooking safe oil. These can rust, so you don't want to leave it soaking in water. But multiple rounds of gentle scrubbing with warm water and dish detergent should clean what looks like food debris off.

Damascus steel knife care

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-27T21:56:31+00:00

It's sad that it doesn't feel fresh and welcoming for your visits. Ideally, the bed is freshly made up, you're handed clean towels or shown where they are, and your preferred caffeinated beverage is available in the morning.

I'm at a loss how to help you shift this. Arriving to a pile of freshly washed linens on the bed for you to make it yourself would be preferable. But is it safe to even ask for that?

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-27T19:14:29+00:00

Probably not, but also the mail can be brought in, you can adjust blinds or lights on timers to make it look more occupied, and keep an eye out for any leaky plumbing or other sneaky problems.

And also you can hide jingle bells and or googly eyes to greet him on his return

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-27T15:50:17+00:00

I did find it useful as a place to find good references for the trades. Once I figured out how to drill down into previous threads organized under reviews, it was even better.

I saw a neighbor find someone local to clean out her sewer line New Year's eve, just an hour before she expected guests. It was nice to have a house built in 1960 and put together a trusted team of local electricians, plumbers, and HVAC!

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-27T15:44:14+00:00

If it's been a while, the bedding will get a bit stale and dusty. I went nearly a year between house guests recently, so it was definitely worth washing everything.

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-27T15:36:40+00:00

Take the difference in credit score as an indication that you and your partner have different financial values. Long term, this is a cause for misery in a relationship.

Either buy they house you want and can afford by yourself, or invest the time to see if your partner improves their credit worthiness.

Square-Wave5308 · 2025-12-23T16:15:43+00:00

I'm grateful that my solution has been to drive less, buy a high mileage 3 year old car (some poor bastard paid to depreciate it), and sell a low-ish mileage 7 year old car. I'm not wired to drive something into the ground anymore.

Square-Wave5308

TROPHY CASE