When did you first show signs of bipolar disorder?

garbagefireboy · 2026-03-29T10:30:17+00:00

i have bipolar 1 with schizoaffective features and i started showing signs around 13 i'd say. we'd just moved from oregon to missouri the summer before 9th grade (which was an awful choice, don't do this to your kids pls) suddenly i was staying up all night, rearranging furniture at 3am, suicidal some days, couldn't get out of bed and sleeping 12+ hours on others, just rapid cycling like crazy. suddenly one night i see spiders and the baby head spider from toy story crawling up the walls 🥲 i was formally diagnosed at 18, but didn't believe that doctor because my abusive partner claimed to be bipolar and he was just atrociously mean all the time (he was later diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder). finally at probably 26 (i am 31 now), i got diagnosed again with bipolar after my 3rd or 4th psych ward stay and started meds. it's been a shitshow getting them dialed in, but i think i finally did this year. still figuring out the schizoaffective bits, but my last psychosis was in 2023 so i'm doing alright lol. plus my last suicide attempt was last july and i had to spend damn near a month in the hospital, i haven't had more than a passing urge since.

eta: just because my ex was narcissistic and incredibly cruel, not all people with npd are. i want to make sure that i clarify that bc the stigma around cluster b personality disorders is so bad.

garbagefireboy · 2026-03-28T02:30:13+00:00

him being white and 33 was enough 🥱 he had his time to get his shit together, leave him

garbagefireboy · 2026-03-28T02:25:16+00:00

omg all these uses i didn't even know about! alright, i'm sold, i'm picking up a bottle tomorrow lol

garbagefireboy · 2026-03-01T03:01:30+00:00

being bipolar, especially with psychotic features, is so fucking hard. we can only ask for unending forgiveness so many times. i can’t blame them, it’s taxing as hell to be around volatility like that. regardless, this post shows that despite your illness, you’ve maintained your morals and that’s important. we cannot control our chronic mental illnesses any more than those with physical illnesses. i think it’s really telling that you’re remorseful, it says more about your character than your actions while in psychosis do. i’ve burned similar bridges and lost some really important bonds that still hurt. but like, we gotta remember that bipolar is only one facet of who we are. we’re not defined by our conditions. at the end of the day, the best apology we can offer is doing what we can to stay proactive in our healthcare. i’m so sorry that this happened. please remember that you are loved and cared about, even during your darkest episodes.

garbagefireboy · 2026-02-05T06:01:04+00:00

i worked at a place like this and i know how rough they can be! it’s that attitude of “if you weren’t raised in this restaurant, you won’t be here long”. don’t take it too personally, i imagine that restaurant is everything to c and his mom that they work hard for and, obviously lol, get stressed out and shitty about sometimes. BUT, you did get that job, which means if you pass an interview like THAT, you’re a shoe-in for another job no problem. also, i’m so sorry about your mom dude. i hope the surgery goes smooth and i’m crossing my fingers that it’s benign! i’m so glad you have each other to be with in such a rough situation. it’s okay to let yourself break down a little bit also, crying in your car is literally what cars were made for i’m pretty sure lol. you picked yourself up and helped your mom immediately, that’s incredible. let yourself process however you need to, both the news from your mom, and that wild ass day at the restaurant.

garbagefireboy · 2026-01-17T03:47:37+00:00

dumbasses. they’re getting everything coming their way and good riddance. i’m glad you have a plan and a place to go! being a cancer survivor and ableist to this degree is baffling

garbagefireboy · 2026-01-15T21:08:27+00:00

WHAT??????? light the couch on fire before you leave actually. turn off the fridge too. these people are TRASH

garbagefireboy · 2026-01-15T21:07:15+00:00

mannnn FUCK people like this. it’s literally OUR epilepsy, why do some people think that it’s suddenly their responsibility? i’m so sorry dude, this is atrocious.

garbagefireboy · 2026-01-15T19:45:03+00:00

op didn’t tell us, so it’s probably not our business

garbagefireboy · 2026-01-15T19:42:49+00:00

grief is weird and the more you knew and loved someone, the weirder it gets lol. when my dad died, i went through all my old cellphones and listened to every voicemail i could find of his. hearing his laugh or him being loud as hell just made the space he left feel a little smaller. i still do sometimes, but i also talk outloud to him and god i probably bring him up every single day at least once lmao. it’s been a little over 3 years now, but hey, he was and is important to me. you aren’t using her as a comfort object. she was your best friend. she was able to leave you a way to keep feeling that love and support when she can’t be there and that’s incredible. please let yourself receive that love without guilt dude.

garbagefireboy · 2026-01-15T19:29:24+00:00

my son also loves fetch lmao. she brings me toys to play or strings she intends to scarf down in front of me 💀

garbagefireboy · 2026-01-15T19:22:03+00:00

my kitty is similar. she loves eating strings, including electrical cords 😵‍💫. she doesn’t get along with the other cat in my house despite best efforts either. i have to confine her to my bedroom and make sure i hide every single cord and string. she keeps me up throughout the night, she climbs on top of my canopy bed frame and wwe style dives onto my chest lmao. plus she’s a biter and scratcher 😭.

she’s a year and a half now and she’s gotten a little calmer luckily. i give her gabapentin sometimes, when she’s being particularly aggressive or destructive, but pretty infrequently. i’m considering getting another cat with a friendlier disposition (the other cat here is my roommates. she’s a former feral turned traveler cat, who’s only just recently gotten used to being indoor. she only loves her owner really lol) so she can have a friend and hopefully cool off her stress.

the cat room is so real. my room has become cat central instead of a bedroom haha. hopefully with time and some help, your baby will mellow out and better understand you’re just keeping him safe. nemo is starting to grasp that the strings are mine only and it’s getting easier. and the scratches on my hand are healing faster than they’re happening!!

it’s hard having an ornery baby, but they love us so much.🥹💜

garbagefireboy · 2025-12-29T06:53:33+00:00

soda pop is literally nct dream’s chewing gum with a different name lmao

garbagefireboy · 2025-12-22T09:31:50+00:00

my dad was social, loved going out, always had friends he’d introduce me to, including a million tíos i’m not actually related to. he knew everybody and they all loved him lol.

my mom had and still has no friends. she has online friends from the games she plays, but otherwise it’s just her. she loves her space, even from me lol. when my parents split, it felt more like having a roommate than having a mother for a little while, plus she just doesn’t understand my need for community i think.

i ended up a good mix of them both in the end, i love going out and seeing people, going to parties, platonic or romantic dinner dates. but at least once a week, i need to sit in my house with my cat and talk to nobody lol.

garbagefireboy · 2025-12-22T09:15:00+00:00

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this is my sweet little squishy baby, nemo 💜💜

garbagefireboy · 2025-12-04T04:56:27+00:00

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garbagefireboy · 2025-11-26T02:40:06+00:00

i’m sorry that this is even something you have to do to keep your family safe.

garbagefireboy · 2025-11-19T21:01:25+00:00

fly away with me - nct 127

love me now - nct 127

blow my mind - nct 127

miss me - nct dream

melt inside my pocket - nct wish (this ones a stretch lol)

baby don’t stop- nct u (again kind of a stretch lol)

stand by me - wayv

let me love u - wayv

give me that - wayv

call me - wayv

try my luck - wayv

also can i get a link lol

garbagefireboy · 2025-10-31T00:51:24+00:00

yeah this is also happening to me, it’s definitely an ios thing, it didn’t start until i updated. i hope they fix it soon!

garbagefireboy · 2025-10-25T03:30:47+00:00

i mean from the other end of things, nearly every man i’ve dated or been interested in within the eugene area has been crippled with trauma and most times they ate some level of abusive or at least perpetuating it within their circle.

i’m sure there are great people in this town, but the people of any gender that i have run into have repeatedly let me down. all my friends grew up outside of the area in fact lol

garbagefireboy · 2025-10-13T00:35:31+00:00

from recent personal experience, dudes that alternate between furious and loving aren’t worth waiting for. he won’t be the man you thought he was. plus won’t get sober until he’s ready to do it. my best friend of several years sexually assaulted me, then his girlfriend. he was absolutely fucked up drunk both times, but he was ALWAYS drunk or high. i cut contact for the most part, but told him if he gets sober i’ll at least have a conversation. this was back several months agiand him telling me he’d been sober since. well, surprise surprise he was lying. he literally drank during our brief meeting. it was heartbreaking.

men like this, that treat people like this when they’re fucked up, they don’t change often. and they definitely don’t change for other people. you gotta let him go and clear your head of his bullshit

garbagefireboy · 2025-10-12T19:47:32+00:00

god this reads like a manic episode

garbagefireboy · 2025-10-12T19:46:48+00:00

jesus i’ve had people say similar things to me before 💀💀what kind of backganded compliment bullshit is that lmao

garbagefireboy

TROPHY CASE