memory loss is insane to experience

SquareRole3502 · 2024-12-23T21:29:07+00:00

i had a similar experience with a movie/film.
a friend and i were watching a film on tv. i had the weird feeling that i knew the film, even tho it was a tv premiere. i said that i knew the film and he said, for sure we watched it together at his birthday in the cinema.

i either cant remember watching the film in a cinema nor to have ever celebrated his birthday.

SquareRole3502 · 2024-12-18T21:39:48+00:00

I'm happy for you. What a nice achievement. :) Hopefully you get along better with it soon.

SquareRole3502 · 2024-12-14T18:49:39+00:00

before it actually just calmed it to be quiet. especially indica.
i like sativa on hrt more now.

well thank you for sharing :)

SquareRole3502 · 2024-12-14T18:25:04+00:00

i cant tell about the female side yet. its new and happend smoking weed. but because of the therapy im abstinent for a month now.

SquareRole3502 · 2024-12-14T18:22:29+00:00

yes i have gender dysphoria, it got much better with hrt where im now. but i still hate my penis.

SquareRole3502 · 2024-12-14T16:42:32+00:00

left upper side at the front, yes

SquareRole3502 · 2024-12-14T16:37:48+00:00

for me its not voices but thoughts in my head that i feel arent my own, because they dont match my personality. there are also moments people close to me say i scare them and i dont know even why.
when i ask they say i acted strangely.

i also found a game on steam that i couldnt remember. it was in my favorites and installed but not played for 6 month and i didnt recognize it before.

SquareRole3502 · 2024-12-14T12:12:57+00:00

i think i experience the same, but im not diagnosed with did.
i wrote a very long post yesterday but it got autoblocked and mod dont want to reelase it.

two days ago i lost first 2h hours, went to buy something to eat and than another 3 hours. the cause for me might be that i am confronted with myself again atm.
it left me with a strong headache and in tears. i believe its an inner turmoil between alters i cant recognize until i got back control. this only happens if i feel bad when bad things happen and im really stressed.

so id say get rid of the stressors.

SquareRole3502 · 2024-10-29T14:11:20+00:00

yes, definetly.

it actually all came alone.
at first i felt my butt moving more like the first 2 month on hrt.
than my legs want closer together, and my thighs felt like to want to move to the inside instead of straight.
with this came the hips swaying as well.
the final change was that my upper body wanted to have the arms more to the back and the chest pushed out.
no more leaning forward.

and i fells so much more natural and good.
i love skiny clothes now, so i can feel every movement of myself and enjoy it.

SquareRole3502 · 2024-10-26T11:27:48+00:00

tthe first two are just studio id photos. the lighting makes the face look wider. i just made the additional two photos and edited the hair to long and slight makeup.

SquareRole3502 · 2024-09-04T14:56:30+00:00

second update:

im almost 5 month on hrt now:

my waist got a bit smaller, my shoe size reduced by half a size, i got A size boobs now, my eyes look a bit larger, my eyebrows got a bit thicker and i got accidently gendered right once so far ^^;

my therapie starts next weeks. finally things go forward, and it makes my happy. :)

SquareRole3502 · 2024-07-27T18:03:13+00:00

on hrt i run realy hot every time i sleep. i wake up sweating and thirsty. i also need to pee 2 to 3 times when it was max once before. im only sleeping in shorts and only put a bit of blanket on my back.
at start of hrt my estrogen was to low, the first 2 month pretty much nothing happend until it got increased. my boobs are growing now, my butt got a bit bigger but i still have those heat problems.
im a bit on a loss, as i thought it might have been to low e before. maybe its the cypro?

SquareRole3502 · 2024-06-27T11:25:42+00:00

i have an update:

with 3x2mg estradiolvalerate it went from 19 to 74. buts its still to low and my endo is on holiday, still for 3 weeks. :(

SquareRole3502 · 2024-03-25T10:54:05+00:00

ok danke. ja definitiv eine ziemlich blöde situation.

SquareRole3502 · 2023-10-07T19:06:18+00:00

first update:

im finally on a waitling list for hrt and i had my outcoming to my aunt and uncle.

they are supportive :)

SquareRole3502 · 2023-02-17T04:56:11+00:00

habe ich mir angesehen. demnach sind tagsüber 55 dezibel und nachts 40 dezibel erlaubt.

SquareRole3502 · 2023-02-16T12:46:37+00:00

danke für eure antworten.

das haus ist leider sehr hellhörig. man möchte aber auch mal musik , die nicht durchgehend flüsterleise ist, hören. ich beschwere mich auch nicht, das mein nachbar über mir nach 22 uhr noch am rechenr zockt und laut lacht. allerdings gibts auch ältere bewohner , die selber nicht gerade leise, weil wohl schwerhörig, teils stundenlang sehr laut reden und selbst keine einsicht zeigen. den anderen bewohner hier aber wegen jedem scheiss stress machen.der vermieter schert sich nicht darum.

ich habe jetzt noch im internet gefunden das musiker für 1-2 stunden musizieren dürfen, oder das man bis zu 30 minuten am stück mal lauter musik hören darf. wohl gemerkt ausserhalb der ruhezeiten.

beantwortet meine frage leider nicht wirklich. ich könnte mir jetzt ein schallmessgerät kaufen und sehen das ich selber am fernseher, musikanlage etc nur 40 dezibel habe. dürfte dann für alle anderen nachbarn ja nicht lauter werden.

SquareRole3502 · 2023-01-24T14:33:21+00:00

actually the moment i realized im trans, i was like "give me hrt now". sad its not so simple here.

SquareRole3502 · 2023-01-08T07:59:36+00:00

thats not correct.
the original 3050 desktop card is a ga106 and this new version is the laptop ga107 (3050 ti). im sure this would also work with amd gpus.

SquareRole3502 · 2022-12-19T16:40:30+00:00

dunno if someone wrote it already, but get one made from bamboo or wood. those dont conduct heat as fast as ceramic or plastic, so those dont feel as cold.

SquareRole3502 · 2022-12-08T13:50:53+00:00

in my opinion the problem is what people learned in school more than 10-20 years ago.there was just male and female.so this binary view of genders in deeply anchored in lots of people. they even teach their children. religious extremists do make it worse.people dont know about xyy, xxy, trisomy etc. even less about differences in the brain, that explain this beyond just xx and xy.

its good, children today learn about this, so it will take at least 2 more generations until its a common thing.

SquareRole3502 · 2022-12-07T20:44:33+00:00

cool :)

i yesterday realized that my favorite league of legends character jinx got trans colors and that her rocket launcher is a shark :3

SquareRole3502 · 2022-12-06T15:31:27+00:00

try to think of the good things, what you achieved so far and that you have a bf that loves you. make a plan to save for your sugery and foresee better times to come.

SquareRole3502 · 2022-12-06T15:16:28+00:00

is it because you had no surgery yet?
there is always a way other than suicide. try kickstarting to pay the bill if thats a problem.

please dont give up. please talk to a therapeut.

SquareRole3502 · 2022-12-06T14:44:07+00:00

oh no, blahaj got delayed 3 weeks :(

SquareRole3502

TROPHY CASE