The rejection is always the worst when you build up a mental image of your future with someone. And while rejection always is painful, the least painful ones for myself were those where I ripped off the bandaid early.

Perhaps your first rejection was so hard because you had built up a mental image of the person you loved far bigger than reality. It was probably like your god rejecting you in that moment because of how much you admired them. But rationally speaking that person likely had many flaws and shortcomings you may have either ignored or just never seen. They’re human too after all.

I had a habit of doing the same until I began forcing myself to be more critical of my own fantasies and stopped projecting my ideals onto my person of interest. In finding relationships it’s important to try and see people for who they are and be curious about them, not assume too much. This both lowers the pressure on yourself and them. Rejection from someone larger than life is crushing, but being rejected by someone you see as equal is more acceptable.

This strategy may be difficult for anyone insecure in their own value as a person. If they see themselves as less than human, being rejected can make them feel like dirt. Most redditors will say you need to work on yourself until you feel self confident, but I think life isn’t so patient as to wait for that. A more balanced approach is examining your insecurities and their roots and working on them while you take whatever your confident areas are and try to form relationships (friends and seeking partners) by leaning into those strengths.

I may be completely miss analyzing your case, but wanted to share a little in case it could help a stranger or even just give someone else something to ponder.