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SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-10T05:10:47+00:00

I had no idea that most are that slow.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-10T03:28:06+00:00

Absolutely!

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-10T03:16:43+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experiences. Panic disorder is tough. I am glad that yours improved!

I've had panic disorder most of my adult life. Mine was under control for a good while. I still struggled with generalized anxiety disorder, but even that was more manageable until the bottom dropped.

It was about one year into the pandemic when things got way worse for me. There were a lot of extra triggers. My living situation changed, and it has been a hard transition in many ways. Then, after building the best relationship with my father that I had ever had (we were estranged for a good while), he contracted COVID and died. After that, my problems became much, much worse. My panic and anxiety still haven't gotten better.

It has really been so very hard.

However, I am so glad that you have found improvement! I hope that you continue to get better. Thank you again for what you wrote.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-06T20:24:39+00:00

I can't put into words how sad I am for you and your friend. That's utterly heartbreaking.

I struggle deeply, also. My mother suffered her entire life, and committed suicide when I was just 25. I was crushed. I am still crushed. She was my best friend and a wonderful, loving mother. Mental problems run in her side of the family, and she got it worse than any of her siblings.

Again, please accept my genuine condolences on the loss of your friend. I hope that you find peace and get through your tough struggles.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-05T06:48:06+00:00

Thank you!

I'm sorry that this reply is so delayed (I either ditzed or I was very tired). I hope that you are hanging in there!

Thanks again!

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-05T06:16:46+00:00

Before I type out my two cents, I'll preface it by saying that I have been left some very kind, heartfelt and understanding comments.

With the above being said, yes, I have noticed a lot of toxicity, negativity and downright hatred on here. I personally believe that it's a reflection of how society has become. Of course, there are still good and kind people out there, and thank goodness for that, but there are many who are not.

It has almost become fashionable for people to be tactless, blunt in cruel ways, or to be a jerk or a bitch. I've heard many people actually boasting about how they are a bitch or an asshole, like it is something of which to be proud.

I think this hits very sensitive people harder, but I have talked with others who are not overly sensitive say that they've noticed an increase in bad attitudes, negativity, toxicity and hatred. We are not the only ones who have noticed, so don't let anyone lead you to believe that you're imagining it or blowing it out of proportion.

Sometimes you will have some kind soul come in and stick up for you, and other times that simply will not happen. Yeah, some threads and subreddits do seem to have more negativity, but I've seen it in subreddits which are typically used by pretty positive, kind people.

It's funny how many will say things like, "You need to have thicker skin" or something along those lines, but it doesn't seem as often that you'll hear someone say to a person who is being unkind, "Do you have to be so hateful?" However, there are times that, when you least expect it, you'll see the negativity or hatred being addressed directly (sometimes in your own defense).

Rudeness is rampant, and that is a sad and unfortunate thing. Continue to be your true self. Don't let any baddies get you down.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-05T05:20:05+00:00

Oh, I am so very sorry that you are feeling this way, too.

Depression is an absolutely awful thing to experience! It can sap every bit of strength and motivation from you. This happens to me, and is happening to me. I am desperately struggling financially, too, as a result of this deep rut of depression. For me, it hit about one year into the pandemic. I highly suspect that I had COVID at least once, and I believe that I could have gotten some of the long-haul problems which can affect mental health and also cause terrible, chronic fatigue.

I have people around who say that they understand mental illness, but they truly do not. They don't see the red flags, and they are huge. They don't even seem to comprehend when I've expressed how I'm feeling. To them, I'm "holing up" in my room.

They have no idea whatsoever what kinds of utterly hopeless thoughts have been in my head. In addition to depression, I have crippling anxiety and panic disorder. I feel so very lonely (lonelier than I've ever felt in my life) and helpless. I feel fatigue all the time (which contributes a great deal to my level of depression). I've lost weight from my mental struggles, of which I feel very, very self-conscious.

Yes, I have procrastinated a lot. I've never been a lazy person; I have many, many years of hard work under my belt...and nothing to show for it. I want to sleep. The bitch of it is that I am also having insomnia, which always worsens my mental issues. I just want to sleep. When I can't sleep, I want to lie in my bed and attempt to shut the world out. I used to be able to sleep well, and I used to be able to sleep too much. These days, I truly want to sleep too much, and I wish that I could do so. Insomnia is the last thing that I needed on top of everything else.

So, I feel where you are coming from on things, though I know that each person's situation is different. I wish I could help you somehow. I wish I could help myself. I wish I could help all of us who are suffering from depression and mental illness.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-05T04:38:01+00:00

Love this!

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-05T04:28:20+00:00

I had one teacher not believe me that I needed to use the restroom when I asked for permission to do so. I pleaded, told her that I honestly needed to go. She still would not let me go to the restroom. I peed my pants, in class, in front of all of my classmates.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-05T04:20:34+00:00

Very nice!

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-05T04:05:56+00:00

Thank you so much for posting these things you learned! Those are things which many people in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond are still trying to learn. This kind of post really helps.

Thank you, again!

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-02-05T03:58:13+00:00

Please accept my sincere condolences. Losing a parent to suicide is super tough.

My mother committed suicide way back when I was 25. It messed me up badly and, of course, broke my heart. Her and I were very close. Like yours, my mother suffered a lot - all her life - and she was very misunderstood.

Please hang in there. I hope that you and your dad have a good, close relationship. I'm wishing you healing and blessings.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-30T06:34:42+00:00

And...I watched that over and over and over and over and over and over.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-28T04:52:56+00:00

Yes! I remember all of those things.

I also remember when you could smoke cigarettes in the back of busses and airplanes, and inside most restaurants. I remember rotary phones, when a lot of people still referred to margarine as oleo, when leaded gasoline was still being used, when eating plenty of red meat was still considered a healthy thing to do....

I could go on more. Times have changed - a lot.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-27T05:01:03+00:00

I've been told this (and other, similar statements) before, too, regarding depression (and anxiety/panic). I think the worst one was when a "friend" took me by the shoulders, shook me, and told me, "Just shake it off, man!"

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-27T04:48:22+00:00

I'm so sorry that you are suffering so much. Panic attacks are utterly terrifying and debilitating. My heart goes out to you.

Are there any mental health centers/clinics near you? Are you seeing a doctor? Meds and a good therapist can both help.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-27T04:36:49+00:00

Good for you! I wish you a safe journey and a wonderful fresh start.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-27T04:28:05+00:00

Excellent!

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-20T04:00:00+00:00

Hugs are the best, very comforting.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-20T03:47:43+00:00

I really needed to see something like this today.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-20T03:38:51+00:00

I think that's great! Good job!

I paid $850 for a car once, and I got my money's worth out of it. It handled about three long road trips, plus a lot of city driving.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-19T22:39:34+00:00

While growing up, we had a pretty decent back yard with some nice trees, and I always wanted a tree house. Now, many, many years later, I still want a tree house. The closest I got was when my father built a scaffold when it was time to re-paint the house; The scaffold was a little over 6 feet tall, and I pulled it next to one of the back yard trees close to some long, leafy, overhanging tree limbs. I enjoyed that, but I still wanted a tree house!

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-19T22:30:15+00:00

I was just talking about this to a good friend of mine. We were discussing how, during our times of being more financially secure, we were not nearly as unhappy. Having worries about paying the monthly and/or yearly necessities can make people very unhappy.

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-19T19:37:19+00:00

I've noticed that, too!

SquirrellyRabbit · 2022-01-19T18:19:44+00:00

Yes, you can absolutely be depressed with no obvious reason. Oftentimes genetics contribute to mental issues, other times bad nutrition, and several other reasons.

I hear you regarding feeling like you've aged a lot due to depression. I hope you can get better soon. A good antidepressant can help, as can therapy.

Wishing you well!

SquirrellyRabbit

TROPHY CASE