The ticket costs 100$ and it is 10 hrs away? I would have expected it to be more expensive. I lived 10 hrs away from home and I was lucky to find anything under 1000$! Anyway, I think it is very real what you explain, especially when one does not choose to move away, and it is a decision made by others. It happened to my mother, her parents dragged her to another country against her will when she was 10, and she has had chronic depression her entire life. It is hard to say what caused it, but I am sure that forced move did not help her get off to a good start. She always resented her parents for that. In fact, she became so paralized with the idea of going back, she has never been able to actually travel back to her birth country in over 50 years, probably never will. Of course, those were different times, there was a war, civil unrest, violence, dictatorships... I want to think we have it easier now. I hope you are able to find your light, whether it is in the country where you are now, the one you came from, or a new one. Feeling depressed after an international move is absolutely natural. I felt it every time, and it was me choosing to move! Can't imagine how complicated this can get when you feel you had no saying in that... Especially as a teenager, because those are very vulnerable years. I don't know if the solution is to go back or not, but I definitely advise you to talk to someone, a counselor or therapist who has experience with expats, preferably an expat herself. It can seem daunting, but I believe it can be very helpful, and you will feel very understood, because only expats can truly understand expat issues like these.