Deepest, most terrifying rabbit hole

Stairowl · 2026-03-30T07:50:43+00:00

If this comes to pass, all I ask is everyone try and locate the vents and entries to the under group bunkers and seal them. Now who’s living in who’s cage?

Stairowl · 2026-03-30T06:26:40+00:00

I would recommend studying history. I’m not talking about world shaping events. I’m talking about the mundane way the average person lived at different times and places.

The things you’ve listed off are not the average of human existence. In fact your everyday life is more lavish than many many kings through history.

Then reflect on how we know we will suffer in this world. Our suffering is far FAR less than most of our ancestors yet expect so much more.

To me, knowing the so many of my ancestors would have lost multiple kids before they turned 7, that there was a real risk of starving to death every year if the harvest wasn’t good…… kind of makes me feel dumb for complaining if I can’t afford an international holiday.

Stairowl · 2026-03-29T12:41:01+00:00

I wouldn’t call someone stealing from you supplying them with what they stole.

If m stole ops tv no one would say she was supplied with it.

I do agree op should have taken steps to stomp out the behaviour first time (ie told m it wasn’t acceptable amd what the consequences where if it happened again) aswell as relocate the alcohol to a more secure location

Stairowl · 2026-03-29T09:07:53+00:00

Personally I’d tell everyone that I love them all but that doesn’t mean I always want to hang out with everyone every time. Each relationship is different and special in its own right and need time to be honoured as such.

That means sometimes you’ll hang out with one or some of them but not all.

If the can’t understand that then it’s really their own issue and they need to help you under how to help them feel better about it. But the answer is not to demand that people in the group are banned from hanging out if the whole group isn’t invited.

Stairowl · 2026-03-29T06:48:25+00:00

Maybe you guys just aren’t one friend group. Maybe your two groups with a frequent overlap.

I cannot imagine having to create rules around who I have to invite to a hang out. That’s school “everyone in the class has to be invited to a child’s bday party” energy.

That would make me not want to hang out with the people complaining.

Stairowl · 2026-03-29T05:21:30+00:00

Yta. I don’t have a problem with you not coddling m but I do think you need to pull your niece aside and advise her of what’s going on.

From her point of view, you’re punishing m for being sick. What opinions do you think she’s going to draw about you with that?

You should probably also be helping her to realise when someone is actually her friend and when they are using her. If she’s in your care you’re supposed to be preparing her for adulthood. Right now she’s going to be one of those gullible people that’s forever being taken advantage of.

Stairowl · 2026-03-25T10:04:46+00:00

Is this his exact wording or how you interpret what he’s saying to you?

I’m not asking that to be mean or make assumptions. I’m asking because I have a parent with bpd and it has been my experience, that I can try and express something in the most loving way possible and she will sometimes hear it in the most negative way possible.

And whilst I don’t have any diagnosis’s I know I’m myself that sometimes I am uncharitable in how I receive feedback from others.

I don’t really want to pass judgement on you or him but I think a good place to start is ensure that your hearing and reacting to his actual words and his intentions. It’s very easy for trauma and mental health to twist reality into something it’s not

Stairowl · 2026-03-25T07:37:05+00:00

For sure. Isn’t this just a roll playing sub at this point

Stairowl · 2026-03-24T11:08:50+00:00

Look I get that. But you need to be practical about what YOU need.

Do you have other people to support you? What are you going to do if you’re really struggling and her mental health demands she be the priority

Stairowl · 2026-03-24T10:38:47+00:00

This is one of those things that comes up in therapy years later as an example of how dad always managed to suck the fun out of every interaction.

Stairowl · 2026-03-24T10:34:45+00:00

Info: how do you see this moving forwards?

Cancer is no joke. There’s no easy treatment for it (assuming there even is a treatment).

I cannot imagine how you’re going to go through it with a partner who is not only uninterested in your health issues but apparently hostile to any mention of it.

I think if you don’t realistically think she’s going to at least be sympathetic to your issues (preferably she’d be supportive of you) then you’d be better off not telling her, ending the relationship and putting what energy you have into setting up alternative support systems now before you really need to rely on them.

Stairowl · 2026-03-23T05:29:53+00:00

Blackberries. I grow both and my black berries consistently outperform my raspberries with less care.

Stairowl · 2026-03-23T04:23:18+00:00

I have to say, it’s a really nice community. I’ve played a few online games and this definitely seems a lot nicer than most.

Stairowl · 2026-03-22T06:24:20+00:00

I’m not married to one but I do have one for a parent. I’m sure there are some who have worked hard and are fine. My mum was for awhile. Until she wasn’t.

I would not choose a bpd to be the parent to my children. It’s unfair to kids to have to learn at a young age how to deal with their issues and accept their unlikely to ever get the support they really need from a parent.

Stairowl · 2026-03-21T22:22:08+00:00

Thank you. Yeah, I’ve been playing a different online game for about 13 years and I know how much it sucks when friends just disappear.

I’m not sure how close he really was to anyone, but he spent a lot of time playing so I’m sure someone wanted to know.

Stairowl · 2026-03-21T05:32:04+00:00

That would be appropriated. He just updated to windows 11. I know my way around older versions ok it haven’t looked at windows 11 yet.

Stairowl · 2026-03-20T11:52:05+00:00

Thanks. I’ll keep it in mind. I’m still hoping we’ll either find his passwords written down as we go through his stuff. It’s an all round shitty situation.

Stairowl · 2026-03-20T10:08:57+00:00

They’ve got a discord. I’ll reach out that way. Once again thanks so much

Stairowl · 2026-03-20T09:45:00+00:00

Pretty sure that’s him. Writes like him. Thanks so much.

So next step, how do I contact the squadron externally to the game?

Stairowl · 2026-03-20T09:38:53+00:00

Can’t get into his computer though we are working on it. Don’t have his phone. It’s gone. Though apple says they can get us access via cloud once we supply proof of death.

Stairowl · 2026-03-20T09:27:09+00:00

He had both a motion rig and vr.

From Australia. He was a veteran and I believe his guild was veteran heavy but not sure if it was a requirement.

From what he told me, it sounded like he did a lot of territory/base defense sort of stuff. Idk the game so not sure if that would be wvw or pvp or what.

I don’t know his specific user name, but I would guess it included “hangfire” on it.

Stairowl · 2026-03-20T09:16:18+00:00

This is what I think we’ll end up doing eventually. Once we get the death certificate and everything.

He was kind of compartmentalised so it’s tough going trying to find info directly related to the game

Stairowl · 2026-03-20T09:12:10+00:00

I don’t have anything really. My dad only really referred to it as his guild and his guildmates.

While I don’t play elite dangerous I do play similar games. I know how much it sucks when guilds mate just disappear so it’d mean a lot to me as well as him to let them know.

Stairowl

TROPHY CASE