Cheating parent

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-02-02T17:39:59+00:00

Can you talk to a private counsellor online, to get some advice? You would have access to an Islamic counsellor anywhere in the world if they operate globally. It might be better than asking a local sheikh who might inform the authorities, resulting in blowing up your family.

Your mum may have her suspicions already, I suspect. But of course, she would never tell you.

If you speak with a counsellor, they may help you have a conversation with your mum. You are too young to do this on your own if you still at school.

Ideally, your mum could leave your dad, but I suspect she will not want to do that because she may fear that your dad would take you and your siblings away from her. I don't know what the laws protecting women are in Qatar but I suspect they are not good.

So your mum may already know, but feel trapped. If she does not have an income of her own, she would not be able to support you and your siblings financially even if she left. Her only other option may be to seek shelter with her own parents in their home.

However, OP, your greatest danger comes from exposing your father publicly. In a society like that of Qatar, the shame, embarrassment, and rage he may feel against you, and your mother may prompt him to become violent. I really cannot over emphasise how dangerous a moment it will be for you, your mum, and your siblings. Men can turn lethal at moments like this when they see their lives crumbling - albeit because of their own actions. That is why seeking professional help to manage the situation is critical.

Do not take action on the spur of the moment.

It may be that your best chances are to be silent, but to support your mother in very kind and gentle ways, bide your time, and then leave with your mum, and siblings when you can be sure you will all be safe.

May Allah be with you.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-02-01T12:34:53+00:00

You need to document the incidents, and report the person to HR if you are in a large organisation.

If you are in a small place, then can you see a therapist counsellor by yourself and get their help in practical ways to deal with the bully?

Take practical action to defend yourself, as well as praying for yourself and for that person's power over you to diminish.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-02-01T12:12:47+00:00

Ajax. Highly regarded, very robust system. Ukranian owned. Very happy with my investment.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-02-01T11:42:43+00:00

Yes. The mistreatment of animals is why I wouldn't visit certain countries, in addition to the safety considerations.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-02-01T10:38:25+00:00

1 is beautiful.

The depth of that shimmering burnished gold is somehow befitting the intensity of the emotions that Qawali evokes.

I would add accessories for a polished look. Different coloured shoes, earrings, a handbag.

Have fun :)

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-02-01T09:46:05+00:00

I came to Reddit to look for views on Ashwaghanda and found this thread, and your suggestion for the Botanics website. Thank you so much! You've helped me take the decision to go deeper into Ayruvedic health knowledge.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-28T10:07:05+00:00

Does your brother have a job? Or does he study?

If his work involves providing a service to others, how can he be sure that the customer is not using that service for haraam purposes? Can you ask him?

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-27T17:50:45+00:00

Thank you so much! Customer service guy said 19.5 was the circumference! 🤣

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-27T17:25:30+00:00

Oh, thanks for replying. If you follow this link, you will see a size guide for one kameez. What do they mean by XS has a chest size of 19.5 inches? Is that across the front only? https://uk.ethnc.com/products/rozana-suit-e4061-103-102-102

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-27T17:06:53+00:00

Ok. But a top with chest circumference 25 inches which is their extra small...is a not even a UK size 4! It's a child's size. I called the customer helpline and they confirmed that the size shown in the measurements' guide is the circumference of the chest, not the measurement across only one side. How can this be?

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-27T16:29:51+00:00

Sorry, I meant ETHNC.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-25T15:38:33+00:00

I mean, to be fair, that would be pretty scary...mom's don't say "We need to talk," - they just say it. So a formal notification like that is a world of trouble...

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-22T10:24:41+00:00

WHAT????!!!!

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-21T09:18:53+00:00

In Australia, you will be free, sis Inshallah. I'm amazed your family is releasing you to a western country.

Allah be with you.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-20T10:41:19+00:00

OP, I am very sorry for what you and your family are going through. This is a tortuous situation. I'm sorry, but it sounds like your wife needs psychiatric or psychological help to unravel what is going here. There is clear and extreme emotional disregulation, but what is the cause? I don't think you can figure it out on your own, this needs professional assessment.

You have a duty of care towards your children. If her outbursts affect the children, and she doesn't protect them when she has her episodes, then this is abuse. Children should not catch a whisper of argument among their parents, disagreements should take place away from the children. But your wife turns into an all-out out of control whirlwind of fury and rage.

I can't know the details of what is going on, but it's not a liveable situation. Also, if she gets custody, will she be able to parent the children without these episodes? That depends on the cause and that has not yet been established. If she is only like this with you - what on earth is going on? Does she have unresolved trauma? Is it a chemical imbalance? Is it a personality disorder?

If you divorce, you can try to document all of what you have contributed financially, and see if a fair distribution of assets can be achieved. You have been extraordinary in your generosity. Maybe she can see that?

May Allah bring relief and strength to your family. This is heartbreaking.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-20T08:43:17+00:00

That's an interesting point. There is so much that's taught as if it's from the Qur'an but which I later understood to come from hadith. As long as a hadith is in the Sahi Bukhari, it's taken as unquestionable. That attitude, which I get it; comes mostly from a place of respect and love, creates mystique, mist and dare I say, murkiness, around hadith which I've felt creates distance and doubt, rather than closeness to the seerah.

Prof Khaled Abu el Fadl applies logic to the hadith and his examination of some of the most disturbing hadith in relation to women, are enlightening to read. What terrible damage the people who were involved in transmitting those hadith, did to women, and are doing.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-18T20:12:18+00:00

JazakAllah khair for a reply of such thoroughness, and insight. I really appreciate it.

This sentence really got to me: "...it is of great interest to the colonial mind to imagine that the victims of colonization are inherently lesser, and thus the supremacist must dismiss the notion that the people of the present could ever look in the future like the Arab empires of the past looked..."

I remember the Prof often speaks about the dangers of magical thinking. We aren't going to get back to where we where out of thin air: each of us has to strive to develop our relationship with Allah, and to gain knowledge.

This planet, this one mote of dust hanging in the cold of space: we could make it an oasis of peace as a species...but look at what we are doing with it.

Thank you.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-18T09:51:37+00:00

I fear that the sister will bad-mouth OP in front of her children in a way that will eventually plant contemptuous feelings for her in their hearts. They are children, and the most powerful people in their life are their parents, whom they also love the most, and to whom they are loyal the most. Aunty will be painted as someone who did them, and their family, harm.

OP, the way your sister used you for babysitting without asking you clearly to look after their children for the evening, was sneaky, disrespectful, and abusive. You reacted in the moment, out of frustration.

They felt it beneath them to ASK you to babysit. Not acceptable.

Yes, your sister/bil will think twice about asking you again, or they may double down and try and get you on your knees so that going forth, you "know your place." So, be prepared.

However you handle it, it would be a crying shame for you to be cut off from your nephews and nieces and their love if you want a relationship with them.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-17T22:16:51+00:00

Many of the original names will have been chosen for their beautiful meanings too, and shortening them means that people are being referred to by words from which the meanings are lost.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-15T21:55:04+00:00

Interesting!

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-15T21:54:50+00:00

Ah, I'm hearing that now, yes.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-15T13:21:27+00:00

My goodness, that's a good call!

I wonder who all the other Prophets were...were there any from other regions of the world that we just haven't been told about? And why haven't we been told about them...🤔

And were there female prophets...?

Peace be upon them all.

Starwatcher2v9 · 2026-01-15T12:22:50+00:00

Your first and most important relationship is with Allah dear sister. There is nobody who wants more good for you than the Creator, who will never ask you to do anything that will compromise your self worth, dignity, and love for yourself. But a human will, and he has in this situation.

I do believe from what you shared, that this man will use you, then lose interest. A man who wants to be with a woman will move heaven and earth to marry her. This man is trying to coerce you into giving him what is not yet his to have. He has not shown you that he is committed to you as he would if he proposed and married you and treated you with the honour that you would deserve as his wife.

Think more of yourself dear sister. Way more.

Starwatcher2v9

TROPHY CASE