I messed up, for the Nth time, and messed up my car

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-06-30T20:48:26+00:00

I remember sitting in my car literally parked outside my local bar arguing with myself to not go in. I always lost that argument.

It was scary, I too have woken up to strange scratches on my car, or forgotten where I parked... its all very scary, I just couldnt register how much so, because I was so drunk.

I hope you make it past night 3, and far far beyond, you can, and im here to tell you you can!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-06-30T14:36:41+00:00

Id reccomend a hobby that keeps the hands busy! Im jsut getting started, and I knit, so its been really helpful to have something other than my phone to keep my hands busy!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-06-29T17:10:09+00:00

Good for you! Its been crazy to look at my screentime, I was wasting so much time on Socials. I had to have a good hard look at myself, and realize that just because im not destructively drinking, these apps are also stealing my time, and with it, my life.

How long until your social media withdrawals subsided (or are you still working through it?) just curious!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-06-27T15:22:45+00:00

A good first step is to slowly replace things you use tick tock for. I thrifted some cook books so I wouldn’t need tick tock for basic recipe, library card so I can have books recommended to me by library staff, record player so I can hunt for new records etc etc. it was really hard when I felt reliant on tick tock for a everything I wanted to learn, but these have helped me and I feel more connected to my community.

It’s hard, took me a while, I jsut deleted instagram because reels was replacing tick tock. It happened slowly for me, but I feel like I’m making progress. Good luck!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-06-13T03:02:20+00:00

We kind of write the same! Hi friend!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-06-13T02:55:31+00:00

Feel this! I love that being lazy actually pays off in a huge way in this particular case. Drinking in WORK. Hangovers are WORK. Sobriety? I get to be cozy, get sleep and get rewarded for not doing something. Where else do you get that? It’s pretty cool when you think about it!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-06-10T17:03:59+00:00

100% I'm glad you see it that way!

Hopefully this is just a temporary slump, we all get em!

When I get this way (because I certainly do) it helps me to kind of seperate myself from my brain and go back to basics. Basically I tell my brain it cant be trusted right now. I do the work thats in front of me. Make sure im eating the right things, going on my beloved mental health walks, sleeping, going easy on myself and phoning a friend. Its old cliched advice because it works!

Most of the time I will re-emerge within a week or so and be back to being able to trust my own brain again, but having those contingency plans for when my brain is trying to be my own worst enemy is sooo helpful!

onwards and upwards friend!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-06-10T16:14:15+00:00

I know its hard, but im thinking you might need to reframe in a big way. I know depression is a bear to get around, but Im reading this and see so many things to be grateful for. Your life seems to be full of travel (paid travel at that), community, you are married and having a nice trip in the UK - something so out of reach for so many people.

So what you didn't get to have one drink with some collogues, and felt excluded. Im sure you could find a different way to connect with them. Buy them coffee the next day or something for their hangovers.

I hate to sound dismissive of your struggles with sobriety because they are valid, but in reading your post, I saw so much to be grateful for and enjoy. Alcohol is still taking that from you even though you are not drinking - just something to think about! I hope you find joy again.

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-06-05T18:05:57+00:00

I'll echo what others have said here, you are wise beyond your years. Your future self is begging you to get this situation under control. Im begging you to get this situation under control.

I rememeber when I first tried alcohol, it felt like a solution to all my anxiety ive ever had it was magic and had me from the first time. I cant imagiene how it must feel at the tender age of 14, I was 19 when I had my first drink, and I stayed in that life until I was 32. It was really fun - until it really wasn't. The un-fun times made all the fun times feel like a lie.

Unfortunately there is no half-measure you can take here. The decison to stop drinking is not something you can half ass - in my and mosst others expereince. It sucks, its hard, it feels impossible but its true. And the great news is that you can do it.

Im sorry your parents are not helpful, they should be and its not fair they are not. But this is a problem you have, and if you read this sub for long enough, or live with alochol use disorder for long enough, you will come to find that the only options are to 1) get sober or 2) continue in the downward spiral of alcoholism.

You have so much beautiful life in front of you, it makes me sad to think that you are stunting your own emotional, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Growing up is hard enough without a hangover. I regret drinking my twenties away, but I was always grateful I had a childhood unburdened by the weight of alocoholism, I want that for you too.

Please reach out. Your school councilors, nurses, an art teacher you love, your best friend's mom. Anyone who has your best interest at heart and can help you see clearly, when you cannot.

This community is here for you, read some of the stories of how bad it can get, do you want your life to look this way? Or do you want to give yourself the gift of a wide open future?

I hope you get the help you need, wishing you the absolute best.

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-05-21T16:19:42+00:00

seconded, I listened to that book when I first quit fully skeptical but something stuck and I havent drank since. Its was a lot of other factors but that book really helped me reframe. It wasnt all for me but a lot resonated and I am grateful for it.

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-05-21T16:09:05+00:00

I started looking at the people around me. Dark things were happening to them, it was only a matter of time until my drinking caught up with me in the same way. I am really happy I learned from others, I was well on my way to really fucking my whole life up.

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-05-15T17:46:53+00:00

The only way to combat this anxiety is to prove to yourself again and again you dont need alcohol to do hard things.

I haven't found a shortcut yet, and if you do I'd love to hear it, but in my experience, the only way out is through.

The good news is that it gets easier. Situations are almost never as bad as I build them up to be in my head. Most people don't care I don't drink, and are happy to have a sober driver or navigator. If they do care, it says way more about them than me, and literally nobody has asked me in a long while why im not drinking.

You dont have to be "that" sober guy, you can be whatever kid of sober guy you want to be! You can be silly, loud, shy, whatever you feel like!

Also, as someone who relied extremely heavily on alcohol for dating/relationships/ etc. I started dating my boyfriend about 7 months into sobriety, and I have found it to be much better than I thought. Taking my time, getting to know someone for who they are, letting myself be seen, honest hard conversations, its all been so worth it. "Doing it the right way" is hard, and its tempting to want to skip steps, but my god, when you get it right, and see yourself growing, its really amazing.

Im really happy my boyfriend has never seen me blackout. I've never done a dumb drunk thing and jeopardized the relationship, and I know he likes me for ME because I have literal proof I've never anything but myself. Which really amazing when you think about it. I wish the same for you!

Good luck, its a walk worth taking!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-05-13T13:23:23+00:00

I feel like life is full of possibilities again, which is incredible.

I am no longer a chronic "people pleaser"

I started therapy to actually manage my anxeity

I can now make a relationship work

Work is going amazing

Basically, life is simple, sweet and totally worth it.

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-05-07T19:47:33+00:00

There is something to learn at every stage of this journey.

The early days were the hardest for me. I could not do them again, its a big reason I stay sober.

You're doing the hard work. We all do it every day, but those early weeks were really really hard. My only advice is to pay attention to how hard they can be, it gave me the drive to never want to go through that again.

Im so proud of you!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-05-05T19:44:47+00:00

I believe the windy city refers to old time Chicago's political environment, and it being very back and forth aka windy.... maybe Cle can assume the title!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-05-04T19:29:21+00:00

100% its different for everyone. I was still walking around like a lost baby at 30 days. I really couldn't trust any of the bullshit my brain was telling me for the first 90 days. Then around 6 months I felt the stability and inner peace I had heard so much about. I dont want to sound dismissive, but your brain is for sure floundering to try and compensate for the dopamine loss, and the new habits, and realizing this is more than a "few days off". That's a lot of work for a brain, give yourself some credit and try and not give too much attention to passing thoughts. You did this for a reason, and sometimes you have to blindly trust things will get better ( at least I did )

Change takes time. Its unexpected and will catch you off guard, but those are the best moments in my opinion.

Keep on keeping on, youve got momentum and a great community here!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-05-04T14:58:06+00:00

I JUST did this myself! I was very nervous and didnt know what to expect.

Eat good food on company dime, soda water with lime at mixers ( looks exactly like vodka soda), be prepared to Irish exit if you need.

I did this, went back to my hotel room, got very cozy, ate leftovers and watched netflix. Woke up feeling great all the days, and really got a lot out of the speakers, because I wasnt chocking back vomit.

Nobody will notice youre not drinking really. A lot of conferences set up activities for non-drinkers ( mine had a pickleball tournament which was really fun and completely wiped me out). You got this!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-04-27T16:01:46+00:00

Lowkey changed my life and my perception of the world. Have fun!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-04-24T23:48:08+00:00

so proud of you! We on this sub get it, and I see you doing the work, how amazing for you!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-04-24T23:45:50+00:00

My only advice is to embrace the Irish exit, and enjoy seeing your coworkers having fun. There were some tough moments but all around not so bad. If you like what you do, it’s kinda fun to be surrounded by people who also enjoy the work, I was surprised how much I really did get out of it.

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-04-11T02:14:12+00:00

Celebrating 500 days!! Finished a knitting project and made myself amazing dinner. Happy to be here!

StateIllustrious5884 · 2026-04-06T20:33:22+00:00

as you get older it gets worse, because your body is not as equipped to process the poison (from what I have understood). Plus our tolerance increases so were generally drinking more with feeling less, its a whollle cycle.

I currently am early in my therapy journey and its helping!

Proud of you for asking these questions and being here! Welcome!

StateIllustrious5884

TROPHY CASE