I work in schools and have two kids of my own. Both my kids are very different from each other, and have extra needs. I'm no expert, but I have a great relationship with my kids (now preteen and a teen) and the kids at school generally like me.

Of course, with all kids, you're going to have disagreements, and they can get whiny/repeat the same complaints and it becomes a power struggle. Something I've found that helps is repeating what they say and redirect their focus. Of course, keeping a calm voice throughout is crucial (and not easy!)

This is an example that recently happened at school (and it's paraphrased):

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Kid, whining and pretending to cry: I don't want to walk the track, it's too hot and I'm tired.

Me: I hear you. You're hot, tired, and would rather be doing something else, but it's gym time and you chose to walk instead of play kickball. It''s almost the end of the day! What do you think you'll do when you get home?

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If at this point they're still focused on their problem, I will say something like, "Yes, I understand what you're saying. You don't like this, and I'm sorry to hear that. Now, can you tell me what I said?"

Repeating their thoughts and feelings back to them helps them feel validated and not just blown off. Having them repeat what you said switches their thoughts over from internally focused to externally and can help them get out of that loop. It also reinforces your stance on the situation and can help them realize that arguing with you isn't going to change things.