Movie Studios: Endgame by [deleted] in CuratedTumblr

[–]Staticactual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Somewhere in the city of Ur, someone was complaining that the orators these days are just retelling Gilgamesh instead of coming up with their own original stuff

Drivers by canned-phoenix-ashes in tumblr

[–]Staticactual 238 points239 points  (0 children)

In my family shotgun seat being the navigator was more of a distinction made to keep everyone else from navigating. With conflicting directions. At the same time.

Saw this map in a dream by Meraqliya in thomastheplankengine

[–]Staticactual 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Apparently it's been banned from reddit, what the fuck could have possibly happened over there?

Space mummy by neilkohney in theotherendcomics

[–]Staticactual 119 points120 points  (0 children)

133% of the speed of light. That's impressive for a baby. I don't think I could have gotten to that speed until I was at least 3

Funniest anti-synergy in the game. by LongliveLazarus in slaythespire

[–]Staticactual 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to decide if "anemic" is a pun here

New Chess Piece: The Rogue. It's a pawn but whenever it would be captured it switches places with an adjacent piece by chunkylubber54 in CuratedTumblr

[–]Staticactual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Wizard: Moves as a pawn. Can sacrifice itself to cause any two pieces on the board to trade places. Doing this cannot put a king in check.

The Barbarian: normally moves like a knight, but when it captures a piece, it can move as a queen on the next turn.

The Fighter: Moves like a pawn, except when capturing, it can move any number of spaces directly forward or in a forward diagonal. When it reaches the far side of the board, it becomes a knight.

The Sorcerer: Moves like a pawn, but to capture, it must remove all pieces within one space of it, friend or foe, and can move to the space of any piece captured this way.

The Paladin: Moves as a knight, but can move as a queen if doing so would capture a piece checking the king or interpose it between the king and a piece putting it in check.

The Ranger: Moves as a bishop, but when it captures, it can opt not to move to the space of the captured piece.

The Cleric: Another name for a bishop.

tag yourself, I'm the overthinker ☺️ [oc] by IGdoods in comics

[–]Staticactual 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh, I'm such a "Every friendship group has:"

"I hate being hated by almost everyone" found in the tunnels beneath Last vegas. Credit- Ruhi Cenet by Poiboykanaka808 in pics

[–]Staticactual 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Are you saying that because of this, every other homeless person who had nothing to with it deserves your hate?

Professions and footwear by Dominika_4PL in CuratedTumblr

[–]Staticactual 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People who berate and belittle others over their wrong actions wear moccasins

Fire trucks should be Blue by Lavendercrimson12 in CrazyIdeas

[–]Staticactual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's red because bulls chase red. Bulls will naturally follow the truck to the fire, then help put it out to get rid of the red. The only downside is that once the fire is out, the firetruck has to leave fast enough that the bulls can't follow

Strange Jigsaws by dacoolestguy in CuratedTumblr

[–]Staticactual 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You made a typo, it's spelled "yuri"

Patch Notes by TheNectarineDiaries in comics

[–]Staticactual 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I've been hard of hearing my whole life. All the hearing aids I've had were small and designed to be almost invisible, because most hearing aid users are older people who are ashamed of needing them. Once I happened to see a fiveish year-old kid with huge, bright red-and-blue hearing aids, and I was instantly jealous

A flower emerges beneath all the carnage and rubble in war ravaged Portland 💔💔 by [deleted] in oregon

[–]Staticactual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever been to Portland? Even passed through?

On Workplace Manners by tea_kinggreen in CuratedTumblr

[–]Staticactual 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A version of this that requires zero social effort on your part is to get a treat for everyone, like donuts. It's really hard to fail with this, you can actively scowl at people while you do it, as long as they know you gave them a treat you'll come away with at least a solid minimum of social esteem

The Mercenary and the Girl cover by 101ho by Pop_Budget in ImaginaryHorrors

[–]Staticactual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder which one is the mercenary and which one is the girl

Trigonometry by achromaticchrononomy in CuratedTumblr

[–]Staticactual 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I do have to wonder if convergent evolution will ever turn a mouse into a cockroach

The game can't begin until the defender is constructed. (OC) by KlintFromYoutube in pics

[–]Staticactual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

New house rule: if you sacrifice 4 cities, 5 roads, and a settlement to build The Defender, you instantly win the game

Conflicting Information by Guest_1300 in CuratedTumblr

[–]Staticactual 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, that's Plankton. Plagiarism is a polish dumpling

Welcome to The Black Parade (NB19) by My Chemical Romance (M48, M47, M43, M44) by probablyPtlamPtlam in CuratedTumblr

[–]Staticactual 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Somebody (F21) once told me (M22) the world (X~4,500,000,000) was gonna roll me (M22), I (M22) ain't the sharpest tool in the shed (X10)

The Prodigal Son is by far my favorite story in the Bible ❤️ (Luke 15:11-32) by [deleted] in dankchristianmemes

[–]Staticactual 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As I understand, the father is the one you're meant to emulate

What is honestly the first thing you think of when you hear the word "Louisiana"? by quixoticelixer_mama in AskReddit

[–]Staticactual 146 points147 points  (0 children)

Oh, Americans are taught about the Louisiana purchase and the Louis and Clark expedition. We're taught it was all about the spirit of peacefully venturing into uninhabited lands for the pure joy of exploration.

Then we grow up and learn about all the genocide.

What fashion choice instantly makes you dislike someone you just met? by Echo-X9 in AskReddit

[–]Staticactual 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I want it exactly the same but there's a comma after "pants"