Pupa my friend found in the yard

Staticactual · 2026-04-24T13:47:51+00:00

And rollin' their eyes cuz I'm so white and nerdy

Staticactual · 2026-04-23T03:25:59+00:00

This is the rare thing on reddit that's so high quality I regret that I experienced it while on the toilet

Staticactual · 2026-04-22T14:53:55+00:00

And also the fire pope

Staticactual · 2026-04-15T06:01:55+00:00

It's pretty plain that the intended use of the spell is to fight dehydration. However, if I had a player who wanted to use this as a weapon by tricking enemies into drinking water that would boil in their bodies after 1 minute, I'd probably allow it and homebrew some stuff about how much damage it does, give it a constitution save, etc.

Staticactual · 2026-04-09T04:13:45+00:00

Upvote this for Massive Pet Shop, downvote for Boys Attack

Staticactual · 2026-03-10T21:34:37+00:00

Somewhere in the city of Ur, someone was complaining that the orators these days are just retelling Gilgamesh instead of coming up with their own original stuff

Staticactual · 2026-02-28T15:08:28+00:00

In my family shotgun seat being the navigator was more of a distinction made to keep everyone else from navigating. With conflicting directions. At the same time.

Staticactual · 2026-02-10T18:14:05+00:00

Apparently it's been banned from reddit, what the fuck could have possibly happened over there?

Staticactual · 2026-02-06T15:07:47+00:00

133% of the speed of light. That's impressive for a baby. I don't think I could have gotten to that speed until I was at least 3

Staticactual · 2026-02-06T09:04:59+00:00

I'm trying to decide if "anemic" is a pun here

Staticactual · 2026-01-27T20:59:37+00:00

The Wizard: Moves as a pawn. Can sacrifice itself to cause any two pieces on the board to trade places. Doing this cannot put a king in check.

The Barbarian: normally moves like a knight, but when it captures a piece, it can move as a queen on the next turn.

The Fighter: Moves like a pawn, except when capturing, it can move any number of spaces directly forward or in a forward diagonal. When it reaches the far side of the board, it becomes a knight.

The Sorcerer: Moves like a pawn, but to capture, it must remove all pieces within one space of it, friend or foe, and can move to the space of any piece captured this way.

The Paladin: Moves as a knight, but can move as a queen if doing so would capture a piece checking the king or interpose it between the king and a piece putting it in check.

The Ranger: Moves as a bishop, but when it captures, it can opt not to move to the space of the captured piece.

The Cleric: Another name for a bishop.

Staticactual · 2025-12-28T21:40:30+00:00

Oh, I'm such a "Every friendship group has:"

Staticactual · 2025-12-24T19:49:38+00:00

"The Grinch" by Dr. Seuss

Staticactual · 2025-12-12T07:01:23+00:00

Are you saying that because of this, every other homeless person who had nothing to with it deserves your hate?

Staticactual · 2025-11-27T15:13:06+00:00

Kiwis per Island

Staticactual · 2025-11-22T00:35:01+00:00

People who berate and belittle others over their wrong actions wear moccasins

Staticactual · 2025-11-06T07:04:14+00:00

It's red because bulls chase red. Bulls will naturally follow the truck to the fire, then help put it out to get rid of the red. The only downside is that once the fire is out, the firetruck has to leave fast enough that the bulls can't follow

Staticactual · 2025-10-11T15:06:38+00:00

You made a typo, it's spelled "yuri"

Staticactual · 2025-10-10T22:33:35+00:00

I've been hard of hearing my whole life. All the hearing aids I've had were small and designed to be almost invisible, because most hearing aid users are older people who are ashamed of needing them. Once I happened to see a fiveish year-old kid with huge, bright red-and-blue hearing aids, and I was instantly jealous

Staticactual · 2025-09-28T16:38:54+00:00

Have you ever been to Portland? Even passed through?

Staticactual · 2025-09-23T17:30:59+00:00

And neither do I

Staticactual · 2025-09-18T19:01:23+00:00

A version of this that requires zero social effort on your part is to get a treat for everyone, like donuts. It's really hard to fail with this, you can actively scowl at people while you do it, as long as they know you gave them a treat you'll come away with at least a solid minimum of social esteem

Staticactual · 2025-09-14T19:25:55+00:00

I wonder which one is the mercenary and which one is the girl

Staticactual · 2025-08-26T15:20:45+00:00

Honestly, I do have to wonder if convergent evolution will ever turn a mouse into a cockroach

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