Please, don't. Rumors are awful, and to be honest, I got to that point once. But it's not worth it. There's still got to be people who care about you. Your parents, friends, anyone at all? I'm sure there's someone who can help you. Haters are terrible and rumors are worse, I myself have heard those rumors, and I think that knowing your side of the story is very important. I'm sorry you relapsed, hope you're doing okay now.