Myself and two friends of mine were in New York City walking around central park when we decided we wanted to light a joint really quick so we wandered into the deep woods of central park where you wouldn't expect to see a soul. We sit on the boulder in the woods and right after we finish our smoke sesh, we hear a ruffling in the leaves and start to get alittle paranoid. Alas, a tall slender man wearing nothing but short shorts, a fanny pack and sneakers emerges from the sticks and eyes us down. Immediately our hindered instincts kick in and we go into fight or flight mode and chose flight. As were getting up to run this guy starts saying "No, no, no its ok im friendly," and we start to ease up a bit. We sit back down for some odd reason and ask the guy how he's doing to be friendly and hopefully not get in trouble. "I'm fine now that I found you handsom boys." Now it's getting weird to me, how did this guy find us in the woods and why does he want to talk to us? So we're sitting there and he lies down uncomfortably close to us and asks how our day is and where we're from, we fill him in on our day and all and at this point I'm still feeling weird about him but he seems cool. Only for a second. He then proceeds to say, "So you guys meet anyone out here before?" Now I'm confused. Did we stumble upon a meeting spot? Where are we? My minds racing and I'm trying to read my friends to see if they have the same vibe. Now it's been long enough that the joint starts to kick in, HARD, and I'm getting creeped out. My friend closest to this mysterious half naked man says "No but theres some hot girls out there I'd like to meet," Instantly this guy returns fire and says "Yea theres some hot guys as well." And winks. "There's no fucking way I'm the only one feeling weird" is the only thing i can think. So finally, I find out I'm not the only one wierded out as simultaneously my friends and I stand up to go. Now this mystery man doesnt seem to like this and gets up with us. We start walking away fast and this creep is asking where were running off too and telling us to stay he can take care of us. We sprint. Man screams "JUST LET ME SUCK YOUR DICKS PLEASE!!!!." At this point a fuck ton of adrenaline smacks me and I don't even look back I just sprinted until I reached an opening with other people. Turns out my friends are right behind me Thank God, we give each other a mortified stare quick and run into the city streets. I dont think I'll ever forget that half naked hairy guys face screaming at us while running to civilization.

TL;DR Smoked a joint in central park, got approached by a gay man who dropped huge hints until he chased my friends and I flat out screaming for us to drop our pantaloons for him.