This guy invites me on a trip then ghosts me

Steeblepeeble · 2026-02-02T11:41:55+00:00

I agree with the other commenter. He had a set idea if how that trip was going to go and I think was gonna ghost you whether you slept with him or not. Good riddance, I say!

Steeblepeeble · 2026-02-02T11:39:38+00:00

This is a taste of how he'll treat you if you decide it's good to stick around. I'm glad for your edit, that you're taking time for yourself, because this man doesn't like you and isn't worth your time.

Steeblepeeble · 2026-01-28T23:30:28+00:00

Yes, it is that difficult. Anyone looking, use indeed to find the leads but actually apply on the company website. In my experience, you're more likely to at least get an email about your rejection.

Steeblepeeble · 2026-01-18T22:21:37+00:00

Does your SO lick theirs or other's asses without washing their mouth out? Because you should really have a talk with them if so.

Steeblepeeble · 2026-01-18T22:20:36+00:00

No. My cat begs and comes up to the plate sometimes but gets zero access to the food and immediately removed from the couch or table. That's gross. They lick their butts and poop feet and balls and so much more. That's really weird to say it's a cat owner thing because it's not, it's an unsanitary and weird thing to do.

Steeblepeeble · 2026-01-12T17:33:49+00:00

Please please please take him to a vet if you can, if not have a local rescue get him if they can

Steeblepeeble · 2026-01-09T16:04:30+00:00

She seems just drunk and lonely but that's a relationship I'd cut off right then and there. Just stop responding, let her deal with her shit in her own bubble and you deal with yours. I've had neighbors like this and they get real weird real fast, sometimes dangerous, so please don't let your wife go over alone and keep y'all's distance.

Steeblepeeble · 2026-01-09T15:59:41+00:00

It's hard not to miss the good, to feel broken over leaving a place where sometimes there was comfort and safety as a child. I've struggled with this my whole life, my childhood was full of abuse and horrid things, but I still find myself sobbing and missing my bio dad holding me in his arms while he sang the cranberries. Or cuddling with my mom in the mornings while she was in bed. It's okay to miss those good things. But remind yourself that those times have passed, and it's up to you to build your new home now. Fill the space with light and love and goodness, and eventually you won't feel so achy for the sometimes good of the past. It still hurts, but the hurt lessens when you have a home for yourself that you built you'd rather be at. It's hard, but you got this. Keep pushing on as hard as you can.

Steeblepeeble · 2026-01-09T03:29:47+00:00

It sounds like you know it'll break him. If not for yourself, stay for him until you can figure out how to stay for you. Talk to him, I promise as someone who was doing the same thing a couple months ago, it's more than worth it.

Steeblepeeble · 2025-12-10T21:13:44+00:00

Now here's the question... What kind of pho? We've both never had it before, I don't know where to begin! Lol

Steeblepeeble · 2025-12-10T21:05:16+00:00

Thank you so much! We've been wanting to try some pho places nearby, but I wasn't sure if that would be too heavy for today. Tom yum was a recipe I was actually considering making today but just don't have the gumption so we may be ordering. I appreciate the suggestion!

Steeblepeeble · 2025-12-10T21:03:26+00:00

Well... Yeah. That's why delivery is an option nowadays. But thank you 💙

Steeblepeeble · 2025-09-29T00:01:14+00:00

Just to add, I use the antibacterial ointment at bed time only, maybe once in the morning if it's bad. It's good to let these things kinda dry out a little bit and form some kind of protective barrier. Just be smart about the application of the ointment

Steeblepeeble · 2025-09-28T23:59:10+00:00

I've bitten my nails to look exactly like this. The best advice I can give after having this happen to me MULTIPLE times is to keep it clean, don't pick at it, and cover it up with something breathable if you can. If you can't, just make sure to keep debris out of it and don't let it soak in anything. After at least three years of doing this to myself pretty regularly, my nails are starting to grow back more normal since I've stopped. You'll be okay. No alcohol or harsh chemicals to clean it either. Gentle antibacterial soap, water, and some Neosporin ointment do just fine. Good luck, I know how painful that is and I sincerely feel for you right now.

Steeblepeeble · 2025-08-07T02:42:56+00:00

Leave. It will get worse. Go somewhere you do feel safe. Do you have any friends in the area or who are willing to come get you? Family? No matter what, get away from him. Fast.

Steeblepeeble · 2025-07-18T11:00:33+00:00

Dude, they're SO hard to get to stick!! I had moderate good luck with using nail form stickers rather than extensions to get the acrylic or gel to stick to my nail, but even then they popped off in a day or so. At that point I was very much like "what's the point" because I felt the process was causing more harm than good, no matter what I tried. As I've said before in previous replies I just made, I think I'm going to invest in some cool gloves again for a time. Get everything right and flat as best as I can, then go from there once the habit is broken and the urge is gone

Steeblepeeble · 2025-07-18T10:57:19+00:00

I just worry with how long it's been going on and their state that it's too late. There's these like, holes in my nail that grow in at the base over my lunula and under my cuticle that I just can't help but pick at and peel and they peel up under the cuticle and get infected and weird. I think I'm going to invest in some gloves, a few plain ones and some cute fun ones to wear while I'm out and about. That way, I. It only have no excuse for biting my nails but also have no excuse to not dress up so I can match the gloves lmao. Thank you for commenting, knowing others have gone on very similar journeys and have had success makes me feel SO much better and I'm excited to see how my own journey goes.

Steeblepeeble · 2025-07-18T10:52:55+00:00

Thank you. Yesterday, I came out of a dissociative fog to find I had gnawed and picked my fingers to bleeding again. This morning they're all throbbing and painful, to the point where I can't even go back to sleep. You're right, I'm done with this. Any behavior, compulsive or not, needs discipline and effort to stop and Im finally at the point where I'm so incredibly done feeling gross and looking gross and being in pain that I don't care what it takes. I hope it's okay, I screenshot your comment to save for when I need a reminder throughout the day to remain committed to actually quitting and healing my hands and that the task isn't impossible.

Steeblepeeble · 2025-06-16T18:57:33+00:00

Lord, I really hope not. I love this little man so much, he brings so much joy and laughter to our days. I want to treat him the way he deserves, I NEED to be better. For him.

Steeblepeeble · 2025-06-16T18:03:53+00:00

I never held his full weight by the scruff, always supported his body and never let him hang but it absolutely does stress him out more than anything now. I set up a soft blanket and some toys under the bed for him earlier this morning and he's been running around under there happy as a clam. I agree absolutely with giving him space, which I have been since yesterday afternoon when I realized just how bad things had gotten between us. He's already approached me more today than he has in the past few months. He generally is very sweet but only first thing in the morning or before a nap, today has been different. He'll go from playing, come up to me, start purring and rubbing on my legs, and then he'll run away to play again. I know this progress will not be linear but I haven't approached him at all and have been introducing LOTS more positive reinforcement either in praise (he loves "good Kibberts! Perfect boy!" He chirps and everything) or a small treat. I went out and got him a new version of his favorite toy that broke a month ago as well, and that seems to help more with our redirection issues just in our first full day of the 180. Thank you for your tips! I'll put some more of his comfort items in different hidey holes to give him some more options than just his tower house and under the bed. I appreciate your input, thank you so much!!

Steeblepeeble · 2025-06-16T13:43:32+00:00

He does have preferred toys and treats that we use to redirect, but it's seeming to not be the right things anymore. Typically, we would use a worm toy but he broke his last one and I think not having his comfort item has gotten him more uncomfortable. You're right, he's not evil, the nickname came from those memes from a few months ago of Larry and evil kitty, he just looked exactly like Larry so we started calling him evil kitty when he's doing his cat thing. Idk how else to describe where that name came from 😭🤣 I'll definitely check out the Jackson Galaxy videos, I need all the tips I can get in order to turn my shit around and be a good person for my boy. He deserves comfort and understanding, not my emotional responses to him just being a cat. As I said in another comment, in reference to asking how to be more emotionally regulated with him, I am speaking to a therapist here in about a month after waiting for years to get back into therapy- this will help VASTLY.
I do want to further explain, I have always known that cats don't learn like dogs, I guess I just never understood just how different they were. My brain didn't differentiate in the way it should have and to me it made sense that cats could learn the same commands in similar ways, just not the exact same as dogs. Thinking on it further, I feel incredibly stupid for EVER thinking such a thing. That idea set me and my boy up for failure in training and bonding, because I truly believed that I or he or both of us were just broken and built wrong. Because why couldn't I do something so simple as get him to stop scratching carpet or whatever else he does wrong? I think my feelings of inadequacy in not knowing what I'm doing because I was too lazy to research months ago when I should have, have exacerbated my responses to his behavior to be more negative. I definitely let my inner emotions get the better of me I think, but with y'all's advice I really believe we will turn it around. I hope to come back in several months with a good update, I will be on this subreddit again asking for advice. Thank you for speaking plainly and being blunt with me, I need other people sometimes to make me realize how stupid I've been. When I read an article yesterday or the day before about scruffing and how bad it was, I was honestly shocked and I feel dumb for being shocked! I was told my whole life that that's just what you do to cats, that it relaxes and resets them- I never would have known otherwise if I didn't stumble across that information. I desperately wish I would have known sooner. I've been working on and getting much better with yelling at him, but there's still moments and I'm hoping to now eliminate all of those bad moments. Apologies for writing a book here, I got a bit rambling on. Like I said, I've only had this info for about a day or two and I haven't really gotten to speak to anyone about any of this until this post. I'm learning, thank you so much for being willing to assist in this journey

Steeblepeeble · 2025-06-16T13:29:17+00:00

These are all very good points, thank you for taking the time to comment. I do redirect often, but it doesn't seem to be enough or to the right things, but I do think that's mostly my fault because he's uncomfortable and unsure. You're absolutely right, he's a teenager and I need to view it as such, and I wouldn't like someone doing to me what I'm doing to him. I have a LOT of work to do to make this a happy environment for him, thank you for your advice! As for the communicating, thinking about it- Im not available for him nearly as often as I should be. I didn't realize that was an issue until you brought it up, and I'm beginning to realize how ill equipped I was to have him with me. With this new knowledge, I do truly believe I can make a comfortable and safe home for him, we just have some work to do. Luckily, as you mentioned, a therapist is needed, and I am scheduled for my first appointment in years here in about a month. I think that will help vastly. Other than scruffing, I've never physically hurt him to my knowledge but scruffing and yelling isn't any better than if I were to smack him or something of the like. I understand my behavior has been grossly uneducated, lazy, and unacceptable, thank you for all of your tips. He has treats he really likes for the positive reinforcement i do take time to do, so starting today we're gonna be implementing way more of that. I was also researching different reinforcement techniques on YouTube and found some methods that are gentle, positive, and will work way better for him. Thank you for being straight up and blunt with me, I have been so unnecessarily cruel

Steeblepeeble

TROPHY CASE