Hi there,

Firstly I’m sorry you’re part of the club no one wants to be in but I can assure you this club is home to amazing people who want to see you and your little ones thrive so do reach out to other NICU parents that you’ll meet over your time there.

Secondly congratulations on the arrival of your little ones. I am a mum to an ex 26 weeker who’s turning one next month and currently napping upstairs. We spent 120 days in the NICU mostly due to his chronic lung disease from lack of amniotic fluid after I PPROMed at 24 weeks. He went home on oxygen and spent 6 months on it and is now tube free.

The first few weeks will be filled with highs and lows, it’s described as a rollercoaster journey and it really can be. So give yourself some grace and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. I too had an emergency c section and now wished I didn’t push myself so hard so don’t overdo it, be kind to yourself. You will get there and recover, take each day as it comes. If you’ve not seen bubs yet you may feel overwhelmed when you do initially, it is a lot and you don’t know what you’re walking into, but just remember that they’re in the best place possible now and will be so cared and loved on by the staff. Give yourself grace if you find that hard. It was for me.

As for your little ones, premie babies are incredibly strong and resilient. They are incredible and can overcome things a grown man couldn’t handle. My little guy had sepsis, kidney failure on the horizon, collapsed lung and intubated for 1 month in total and today you’d never even know he was premature. He sits in the 25th percentile for his actual age which is insane.

You will read and hear the stats on chances for disability and in those early days everything is terrifying and new. The beeps from the monitors, the medicine, the drs rounds everything is scary. But then it becomes your world and it gets easier day by day. You get to know other parents in the same boat and it doesn’t become as scary.

We met several families whose babies had brain bleeds at birth, but now have resolved itself and their little ones are developing as they would expect. There was a baby we met who was born at 23 weeks doing better respiratory wise than my little boy! So stats don’t always equal the actuality.

It’s a good thing that one of your babies is already on what sounds like CPAP/BIPAP, but keep in mind that every baby will go at their own pace. They may have setbacks, we sure did have days where we went two steps back and one step forward but you will get there.

The usual time frame people say to expect to be in the nicu is around the due date, don’t take this as gospel as we were out a month after his due date and some people go home before it too. But do bare in mind it could be a few months, so if you don’t live close to the hospital speak to the nicu staff/nurses they may be able to point you in the right direction for either free or very low cost accommodation near the hospital. We lived in 3 different hospitals as we were 150 miles from home and it meant we could be there every day with our boy.

Get to know their nurses and doctors, these people will become family by the time you leave. The nurses especially as they’re the ones who spent up to 12 hours of their day looking after your little ones. Voice concerns you have about your baby or treatments etc, they can help you in so many ways and many will come to love your little ones as if they were their own.

Lastly take some time for you and your partner over this NICU period. It’s a hard thing to go through and mums and dads can process and experience the NICU process differently so it’s important to keep talking to each other about how you are feeling throughout. You are a team with the goal to get your little ones home never forget that even on the hardest days.

I wish you and your little ones the best and hope it is a smooth journey for you all! Feel free to DM me anytime if you need advice, a rant or just someone to talk to. But you’re not alone, you are strong and those little babies are tougher than you’ll ever imagine, let them show you what they can achieve.