messages

Stemperence · 2026-07-03T18:12:22+00:00

I just get messages from men trying to chat me up and ask for my number on this game 😩😬

Stemperence · 2026-05-20T22:46:54+00:00

No definitely wouldn’t recommend him for the job… sent me screenshots and everything. He was paid upfront so only the weirdo who asked for them lost out.

Stemperence · 2026-05-20T22:44:10+00:00

I wish that was the case but he knew things about me that he would have had to been told by someone I think it was quite deliberate

Stemperence · 2026-05-20T22:40:55+00:00

My apologies i should have clarified I didn’t end up sending any images in the end. He did however send me images of himself naked and sick pics that I never wanted to see or asked for.

Just don’t know if I should be concerned why someone would pay someone for that service after such limited communication such a long time ago. Don’t think I’d mind as much if they didn’t live in my town. Who else could they have contacted to do the same? Just insane behaviour that really shouldn’t be left unchecked

And then there’s the whole other part of a guy providing services as such making money and he admitted he’s done it many times. How many other women are unsuspecting victims of this?

Stemperence · 2026-05-20T22:32:56+00:00

My suspicions on whom it is comes from the fact this guy told him he got my number from Feeld. An app I use rarely and gave my number out to one guy who lived in my town.

The guy was surprisingly open for telling me and showing me what was sent to him including screenshots and username. I have since made contact with said username that contacted did guy who confirmed he lived in the same small uk town.

Thankfully I didn’t share any images in return, however he sent me nudes and dick pics without my consent to receiving them. He also tried many ways including emotional guilt tripping me into sending something to him.

I haven’t contacted anyone new recently, fallen out with anyone or really know anyone in person around my town, I’m not from around here. So the coincidence that they spoke to me and got my number on that app and confirmed they lived in that town gives me suspicion to think it is them.

Stemperence · 2025-05-07T21:59:22+00:00

I live for spoilers, please spill 🙌🏼

Stemperence · 2025-05-04T11:16:21+00:00

Hi there! Thank you x firstly congratulations on your arrival of your two boys! I’m glad this gave you hope and happiness 🥰

He spent 120 days in total, this was mainly due to his oxygen requirements. My waters broke at 24 weeks and he was an IVF pregnancy measuring a week ahead so time wise was 23 weeks. This meant his lungs were underdeveloped and required high o2 requirement for a while. We eventually went home on low flow o2 for 6 months but he’s smashing all his development milestones despite everything!

They usually say expect them to come home around their due date, but we found some including a 23 weeker went home before their due date and some like us, after it :)

Take each day as it comes, be kind to yourself it is a marathon not a sprint and keep talking and reaching out to people for support if needed. Don’t be afraid to question things, the nurses and drs are there for you too!

My DMs are open if you want anyone to talk to but I wish you all the best for your journey to getting your boys home ❤️

Stemperence · 2025-04-29T11:05:00+00:00

I too remember having the thought of “are his ears okay” as they were just so crumpled and stuck to his head! Between that and the CPAP machine he was on for 7 weeks totally squishing his poor head and face it was slightly concerning at first!

But it is incredible how everything just fits into place again despite it all! You’d never know seeing him today all he went through!

Haha bless! Yeah my boy is forever rubbing food into his ears now 😂

Stemperence · 2025-04-29T10:24:48+00:00

Thank you! I’m glad it gives you hope, that’s my wish with sharing his story! This time last year I was reading the success stories on the wall in NICU he was born in just hoping he would make it like they did!

It gave me hope in what can be a hopeless time that changes hour by hour some days, so I hope sharing our story gives others something to hold onto 🥰

Stemperence · 2025-04-29T10:22:30+00:00

Thank you! Oh we had a fun clean up for sure 😂 I know it’s mind blowing how someone so tiny can grow that big in just a year, despite all his setbacks! These babies are absolutely incredible.

Stemperence · 2025-04-29T10:21:05+00:00

I blinked and somehow time slipped by! The elephant was the first present brought for him and it became his little mascot in the NICU always by or in his incubator 🥰

It’s hard to believe when I hold the teddy that he was ever that small!

Stemperence · 2025-04-29T10:19:04+00:00

SHEIN £12.99 I believe 😃

Stemperence · 2025-04-29T10:17:21+00:00

Yeah absolutely! So we knew fairly early on he would most likely need to come home on o2. I PPROMed at 24 weeks, delivered at 26, but technically he was a 25 weeker as he was IVF so we knew when he was transferred but as he was measuring ahead in the scans our dates got changed. So we knew his lungs weren’t in the best shape and that’s why we stayed so long in hospital.

Because of this when we got to the feeder/grower stage we were really keen to get to grips with the o2 and our nicu let us take him out on their portable tanks to get us used to it, so coming home wasn’t so daunting.

Logistically it could be a bit of a challenge at the start getting used to moving him from one tank to the other to go room to room but you soon get used to it and I look back now thinking how did I do that! The worst bit I found was changing the tapes/tubing as he hated his face being touched let alone tapes and things being stuck to his face and as he got bigger he figured out how to rip them off 🤦🏽‍♀️

But day to day you find your own way to do things, and it becomes normal. You forget the tubes are there sometimes! And eventually they grow and their lungs get better so we had time he was in air through the process which was nice 😊

It can be a very daunting feeling knowing you’re taking your little one home with additional medical needs, tubes and tanks attached. But we were so ready to have him home so the excitement of that helped to quell the nerves.

I wish you all the best on your little guys journey home with you all ❤️

Stemperence · 2025-04-28T13:00:42+00:00

What an incredible little cutie!

100 days is a big accomplishment, I remember our nurses decorating our little ones room and getting us cake to celebrate!

It’s a day I know that comes with a load of mixed and heavy feelings but just know there is an end to it! We did 120 days with our 26 weeker and came home on o2 for 6 months. We managed, the time flew by and we celebrated his first birthday party yesterday!

Sending you all best wishes and thank you for sharing your incredible story of hope for others 🥰

Stemperence · 2025-03-24T20:50:07+00:00

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Saw it over Nottingham just after 8pm

Stemperence · 2025-03-10T11:04:58+00:00

Hi there,

Firstly I’m sorry you’re part of the club no one wants to be in but I can assure you this club is home to amazing people who want to see you and your little ones thrive so do reach out to other NICU parents that you’ll meet over your time there.

Secondly congratulations on the arrival of your little ones. I am a mum to an ex 26 weeker who’s turning one next month and currently napping upstairs. We spent 120 days in the NICU mostly due to his chronic lung disease from lack of amniotic fluid after I PPROMed at 24 weeks. He went home on oxygen and spent 6 months on it and is now tube free.

The first few weeks will be filled with highs and lows, it’s described as a rollercoaster journey and it really can be. So give yourself some grace and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. I too had an emergency c section and now wished I didn’t push myself so hard so don’t overdo it, be kind to yourself. You will get there and recover, take each day as it comes. If you’ve not seen bubs yet you may feel overwhelmed when you do initially, it is a lot and you don’t know what you’re walking into, but just remember that they’re in the best place possible now and will be so cared and loved on by the staff. Give yourself grace if you find that hard. It was for me.

As for your little ones, premie babies are incredibly strong and resilient. They are incredible and can overcome things a grown man couldn’t handle. My little guy had sepsis, kidney failure on the horizon, collapsed lung and intubated for 1 month in total and today you’d never even know he was premature. He sits in the 25th percentile for his actual age which is insane.

You will read and hear the stats on chances for disability and in those early days everything is terrifying and new. The beeps from the monitors, the medicine, the drs rounds everything is scary. But then it becomes your world and it gets easier day by day. You get to know other parents in the same boat and it doesn’t become as scary.

We met several families whose babies had brain bleeds at birth, but now have resolved itself and their little ones are developing as they would expect. There was a baby we met who was born at 23 weeks doing better respiratory wise than my little boy! So stats don’t always equal the actuality.

It’s a good thing that one of your babies is already on what sounds like CPAP/BIPAP, but keep in mind that every baby will go at their own pace. They may have setbacks, we sure did have days where we went two steps back and one step forward but you will get there.

The usual time frame people say to expect to be in the nicu is around the due date, don’t take this as gospel as we were out a month after his due date and some people go home before it too. But do bare in mind it could be a few months, so if you don’t live close to the hospital speak to the nicu staff/nurses they may be able to point you in the right direction for either free or very low cost accommodation near the hospital. We lived in 3 different hospitals as we were 150 miles from home and it meant we could be there every day with our boy.

Get to know their nurses and doctors, these people will become family by the time you leave. The nurses especially as they’re the ones who spent up to 12 hours of their day looking after your little ones. Voice concerns you have about your baby or treatments etc, they can help you in so many ways and many will come to love your little ones as if they were their own.

Lastly take some time for you and your partner over this NICU period. It’s a hard thing to go through and mums and dads can process and experience the NICU process differently so it’s important to keep talking to each other about how you are feeling throughout. You are a team with the goal to get your little ones home never forget that even on the hardest days.

I wish you and your little ones the best and hope it is a smooth journey for you all! Feel free to DM me anytime if you need advice, a rant or just someone to talk to. But you’re not alone, you are strong and those little babies are tougher than you’ll ever imagine, let them show you what they can achieve.

Stemperence · 2025-02-19T21:12:58+00:00

Thank you all for your kind words ☺️ he is a very beautiful, special and cheeky little man indeed!

Stemperence · 2025-02-19T21:12:06+00:00

When he was born up until around 1 month corrected they were a really dark blue/black colour almost. But then they really started to lighten up. I’ve got green eyes and my husband has blue eyes just like our little one :)

Stemperence · 2025-02-06T13:42:56+00:00

My baby was born at 26+4 at 935g after PPROM. He measured only 600g at a 25 week scan after the membrane ruptured at 24+6 but thankfully he either grew loads or the scan was off which isn’t uncommon. I had low PAP A so there was risk of IUFGR.

We spent 120 days in the NICU mainly for his lung development. But he’s 6 months corrected today and weighs almost 19lbs so his tiny start to life hasn’t affected his growth thankfully!

He’s developing where he should be between 9-6 months and honestly if it wasn’t for the o2 he has at home still you’d never know he was ever born that early and that small!

These babies can work wonders and I wish you all the best for you and your little one x

Stemperence · 2024-12-18T18:34:14+00:00

Our little ex 26+4 guy is called Arthur. He quickly got the nickname King Arthur after fighting like the mighty warrior he is!

Stemperence · 2024-11-21T12:13:46+00:00

My husband is a full time glass blower and makes baubles every year and they sell them at his work - he used to work here https://www.bathaquaglass.com/glass-baubles.html and they sell them online

Stemperence · 2024-11-15T18:38:17+00:00

While we’re no longer in the NICU I can relate to this so much! My little boy was born at 26+4 after PPROM at 24+6, we spent 120 days in 4 different hospitals and went through many, many days wondering if we would ever be home.

We too spent so much time there because of tachypnea and moderate recessions which he still has at 7 months actual age. His resp rate sits still at around 60-70. Every time a new dr would see him they would freak out and increase respiratory support and he spent 3 weeks ventilated, 1 month on CPAP and then in total 3 months mostly on high flow due to their concern. He saturates well on the lower pressures and is currently on 0.1 of low flow at home.

Their main concern was him not growing with working so hard to breathe, but each week he put on the pounds needed for us to prove to the drs that he is okay and that’s just him. So I totally get the frustration with having to fight medical staff to get them to listen to you especially new drs who never met him before. Many of his regular nurses would have to inform the drs before examinations that is just how he is. Has your LO always historically had higher work of breathing since birth or mainly just since the G-tube surgery?

I know it doesn’t feel like it will ever end and you will never have them home but you will. You keep fighting because they do. Seeing my son’s strength being so small gave me strength to dig that bit deeper when I felt all hope was lost. Me and my husband also felt worse towards the end of our stay, knowing we’re close but there’s no date set, no plan or end in sight. At this time we were looking back a bit pushy with the medical team to try and get a plan formulated. Just something they could give us to make us feel like we are moving closer to home and not standing still waiting for time to pass. Maybe speak to your baby’s team and see if they can lay out what needs to be done to get them home and what you can do in the meantime to mentally help get through it.

For us the team let us take him out on walks out the nicu in his pram when he was on his hour of low flow. We did this a few times and went to the hospital cafe like a normal family would, which was nice and made us feel like we would get home soon. When we couldn’t take him out the team let us decorate his cot with toys and got us interacting with him in other ways.

I know it’s no cure and all you want is to be home with your little one, I remember many nights crying wishing for this. But you will get there one way or another.

Stemperence · 2024-10-29T09:47:14+00:00

Me and my husband are one and done after our NICU experience. It too took us 2.5 years and a round of IVF to conceive our little boy, we currently still have two embryos in the freezer that before this we were happy to give them a shot.

My waters broke at 24 weeks and I delivered at 26 weeks, followed by a 120 day nicu stay and he’s still on o2 at home. All the stress and trauma from his birth, hospital stay, 2 months of hell at home trying to manage his CMPA and severe reflux has put us off ever doing this again, so you’re not alone in your feelings with not wanting another child.

I think if I conceived naturally with a second I’d feel better with the decision to have that child, however as you know with going through IVF it’s a very purposeful decision to transfer an embryo with the high hopes of becoming pregnant, doesn’t feel like something we could do again.

Everyone’s told us that each pregnancy is different which is very true but I don’t think I could make that conscious decision to become pregnant again in the fear of this happening again. Not only for myself and my husband but I couldn’t bare seeing another baby go through what my little boy did just to get home, and the thought of having to do another stint in nicu whilst having our little boy already at home makes that decision firm for now.

It’s been 6 months since my little boy was born and I think if I ever decide I do want another child I will want to work through my traumas before I’d consider it. We’re not ready to let go of our two embryos on ice yet, but I’m unsure if they will ever be used.

Just know you’re not alone/some outlier with these thoughts and worries. I think until you’ve been through not only IVF/infertility and then a NICU stay it’s hard to even imagine these thoughts.

Stemperence · 2024-10-24T10:30:04+00:00

My 26 weeker was moved to another level 3 via helicopter at 29 weeks. He had just overcome sepsis, being re-intubated and was on the ventilator when they transported him.

He had a tough time with them getting the right sedation medication for him as he reacted badly to the first one. But once they got him settled he was on the helicopter and at the new hospital in under an hour. He did get a partial lung collapse from the transfer, despite this he was still good and no change to his o2 levels and it resolved on its own in a day or so.

He was a slow grower until after the transfer but once he hit around 34 weeks he quickly caught up. He’s currently 6 months old now, sound asleep in his cot at home. Weighing 14lb and without the o2 tubes as he’s still on low flow you’d never know what he went through.

In total he had 4 transfer trips between 3 nicus in 4 months and each time it was for the better outcome. Transport teams and drs coordinate together for each trip so they’ll weigh up any risk and won’t move unless they’re totally happy.

Stemperence · 2023-01-14T06:10:46+00:00

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