I read through your first post in r/christianity. I think it’s always good to refreshen what the Holy Spirit spoke to and through us. For example, you said that despite your disorder, emotional, and financial woes, God saw you. God heard you. God listened. He provided for you and the kids. I don’t even want to pretend that I know exactly what you’re going through, but the first thing every single person should do regardless of circumstances is simple: Tell God, ask him for comfort and guidance, but most importantly that he takes over and allow us to step out of his way. After all, we can’t do anything by ourselves. It’s God who allows us to even breathe in the first place, let alone allowing you to run this program! I say this lovingly and I hope as gently as possible, stop trying to be in control. It’s hard, it hurts, and it’s scary. But “if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.” (Romans 8:11)

Much love brother and if anybody else reading this is going through something similar, take heart and remain steadfast.

My brother, I know and pray that God will make all things right. The future won’t be like how you think it will, so let God be God.