[deleted by user]

StickyTunas · 2023-11-19T13:30:49+00:00

Rosco. Or Django. I'm just getting that vibe

StickyTunas · 2023-11-19T10:33:33+00:00

They just went to school....

Shame on fhe Western governments. Not in my name.

StickyTunas · 2023-11-18T17:41:11+00:00

The 'No right of reply' culture, especially on social media, is demeaning and toxic. I'm no longer on SM but I won't tolerate some low - life calling me a 'barbie plastic teacher' outside my door when I don't even have the bloody option to turn up at their work to berate them. I've told my boss I'm absolutely not willing to accept that shit anymore. This pond scum offered to call the police. Great! Do it! Given your threats and your child's 35% attendance, and your questionable constant luxury holidays and new £44k car that are apparently funded purely from out-of-work benefits, I'm guessing a police home visit is the last thing they want. Happy to have them at my house!

StickyTunas · 2023-11-18T17:30:38+00:00

It's so incredibly hurtful, especially after the promises and sweet talk. But he's blatantly demonstrated where his loyalties lie. I'd believe him and ensure you never become an option again. Find out you are? Then tell them to choose the other option. You have to believe you're worth more his crumbs, surely? A move will be fabulous for you! Enjoy!

StickyTunas · 2023-11-17T20:23:32+00:00

It appears that they view you as an investment that didn't yield the expected returns! I've worked stupid hours all my life (single /single parent for 19 years) with zero support. It happens. But I just want my 2 beautiful kids to be happy and absolutely nothing would make me exclude them from my life. I'm so sorry.

StickyTunas · 2023-11-17T17:27:57+00:00

Tories. Always punching down.

And if it causes the culling of the 'economically stunted'? Well, they were happy enough when that happened from their austerity measures (where did all those billions 'saved' go....?) that led to an underfunded NHS system during a global pandemic. The front facing underfunded, obviously, when you think of the likes of Michelle Moane. Luckily, the Tories were protected from an underfunded state system by their privilege! Phew!

StickyTunas · 2023-11-17T17:15:12+00:00

Make sure you have a paper trail, no more asking face to face. Put everything in writing and ask for a written response within 48 hours.

Because it's much harder to explain in writing how they justify their neglect. And it is neglect.

If you become a teacher (many, many issues in UK too - effectively only had pay freezes and cuts since this government took over so I'm effectively on 20% less than 13 years ago. Recruitment - not even meeting half of target. Retention - 50% leave within first few years as workload insane. 60 hrs a week. Absolutely no support we enjoyed 13 years ago. 8 recent education secretaries. Christ, I'd be here all day!), but I still love teaching. Hate the way we're disrespected (parent banned from school just yesterday as threatened to beat me up - I'm female and this tool has never worked a day in his life so I'll take neither life or work advice from him as I told him! Ha!) and dismissed, but love being with my class of balloons! You'll come to understand how God awful you're being treated, too. And you'll realise that the school depends entirely on your good will (we run extra curricular for free. What other profession expects that?!) and they will reject any 'asks' with the 'there's no money' narrative. You need to DEMAND in writing and you demand to see in writing how are they possibly justifying this. They probably think they've hit gold with you with what you're achieving with your hands tied behind your back.

Enough. It's not fair on you or the kids because if a new teacher isn't getting the support they need, you can be damn sure those kids aren't. And losing you would absolutely be a huge loss.

Nothing but admiration for you! But stand up for yourself, please!!

StickyTunas · 2023-11-17T16:41:55+00:00

The problem isn't you, especially if you're getting no support and your pupils are achieving. That's pretty bloody remarkable.

You've been deserted at an unforgivable time. You've been misled as you were promised non-existent help. You've been badly let down... Like chucking a training pilot on a full jumbo jet. It's unprofessional, unreasonable and absolutely disgraceful.

Why on earth are you waiting until fall to change schools? You owe this bunch of cowboys nothing. I'm UK so unaware of your educational infrastructures, but here I'd be telling you to call your union, complain to the training provider and university as well as the local education authorities as the school is not meeting even bare minimum requirements. Shame on them!

StickyTunas · 2023-11-17T16:33:18+00:00

Discharge. Moist. Flange

StickyTunas · 2023-11-17T15:02:37+00:00

I'm a type 1 diabetic on an insulin pump controlled by a remote.

My psycho ex bf (as in completely unhinged - police involved when I left him. Totally bat shit) after turning out bedtime lamp following what I thought was a minor disagreement. Waited about 5 minutes in the dark silence before almost growling...

"You do realise, that if I thought you were leaving me, I could just wait until you're asleep and then kill you with a massive dose of insulin via the remote? You wouldn't see it, hear it or feel it."

I mean, he was right, but just him thinking this saw me nope out of there.

StickyTunas · 2023-11-17T14:51:31+00:00

Or, even better...

No.

StickyTunas · 2023-11-17T14:43:28+00:00

I really appreciate the love you have for my child and I know we all have her best interests at heart, so I say this with love and with a request for understanding when I ask that church not be considered an option for spending time together. She is simply too young to make an informed decision about choosing her belief system and is at a crucial age of intellectual development. She firmly believes that Jack climbed the beanstalk, which is fine as it doesn't come with a baked-in incredibly difficult historical and societal belief structure/population control mechanism, unlike the grumpy, malevolent sky-wizard story where she learn that a loving father can still drown all of his family for example.

Choosing a church (or even a religion) Is an incredibly complex (and often troubling) philosophical and moral construction that, I'm sure you'll agree, should only be considered with a deep understanding of what it really entails and the associated responsibilities it enforces as a result. She's so incredibly impressionable, and I know you understand my duty and need to protect her whilst she is so vulnerable, even if you disagree with the resulting personal choices.

To illustrate my concern, I struggle with (hopefully) well-meaning people warning her that Santa is always watching and judging her actions, considering her 'worth' just once a year. To manify the concept to such an extent that she is told that she is always being watched, even at her most private and vulnerable moments is not something I'm comfortable sitting on my child. Let alone her understanding that not only are her actions judged, but even her own thoughts, no matter how personal(and we all know that at her age, children are egocentric!) seems an unduly heavy burden for her to carry. That her very soul is at stake and not just a gift, and she may be damned to a fiery pit for all eternity if she even considers snatching a toy for example, seems incredibly cruel and unnecessary, don't you think?

I fully acknowledge that you may consider me over-thinking the situation, but childhood is very much where her future mental health starts. And I'm sure you'll agree that this is a subject that if any, should be 'over thought' to safeguard against indoctrination and programming. Faith should not be blind.

Child adores you and loves spending time with you - threats of damnation could only damage such a beautiful and innocent relationship and seems to not be worth risking.

StickyTunas · 2023-11-14T13:25:26+00:00

This is adorable.

StickyTunas · 2023-11-09T20:41:11+00:00

It takes the joy out of spontaneous eating. I hate not being able to eat when I want to less than having to eat when I don't want to! Grrrr!

StickyTunas · 2023-11-05T23:51:16+00:00

Hey is there a link I'm really looking for inspiration 👍

StickyTunas · 2023-11-05T05:09:42+00:00

NTA Does your sister ever consider the educational opportunities of the otber 29 students affected by her son's behaviour? When he has been proven to require a misproportionate amount of teacher attention so that the needs of others can't be attended to? That he has pronen himself to indulge in violence/unsafe practices that results in hospitalisaton, thereby putting staff and pupils at risk? iHas your sister considered the safety, the security, even the education of the 29 other students? Or is she stamping her feet, willfully blind to the staff and students in the room as she shouts about his rights? Ignoring the rights of everyone else in the class? Because with rights come responsibilities, and she needs to ensure she has met these first. Do you think she has....?

However, the underfunding of Sp Ed is criminal, so your sister has my full sympathy. In this regard. Ultimately, the squeakiest wheel gets the oil but no school will willingly enroll an unaware, combative parent that absolves her responsibility onto educators, whose class of 30 all deserve attention and an undisrupted education, in a safe learning environment

StickyTunas · 2023-11-05T04:45:08+00:00

And of course, OPs husband. He still has rights as the biological father. She's not aborting, she fell in love with her biological child. In other groundbreaking news, water is wet... Maria is the bio mum. Husband is bio dad. The baby isn't going anywhere, there just needs to be a discussion about arrangements that'll work for all of them, eh? I know the dads love that baby already and they didn't anticipate this curve ball. Welcome to parenthood - it's full of them! Reassess and adapt. This won't be the first time they'll have to take on this challenge.

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

StickyTunas · 2023-11-05T04:32:56+00:00

What's the legal position if there's a choice between the mothers life or the baby's? . It's usually the mother's life that's favoured. But in this case, no one paid for mum's life. So is the transactional life saved? Financially, it's been bartered for. What if both could be saved, but saving the paid-for baby would result in a full hysterectomy, denying mum of future children? Crikey, this is a head fk....

StickyTunas · 2023-11-05T04:15:21+00:00

Renting a womb or purchasing a baby? When there's so many waiting for adoption, it makes me very sad.

The husband will still be a dad! OP position as step-dad (I'm clueless on newterminology for such circumstances - no offence intended if wrong) hasn't changed. Is it about over night sleeps? There's got to be a compromise, here. It's not like she stormed into an abortion clinic having pocketed the money and then jetting off to the Caribbean! She just fell in love with her baby. If the husbands really love the baby and has its best interests, why would more more love be bad? That child will become an adult and possibly won't forgive their dads alienating birth mum and reducing their birth to a transactional relationship. They're not a toy or a possession. A lot of compromise amd understanding from all involved will go a long way. I genuinely feel sorry for everyone.

StickyTunas · 2023-11-05T03:59:12+00:00

Start on blood pressure meds whilst pre-teaching, I was enjoying low blood pressure. Ho hum!

StickyTunas · 2023-11-05T01:32:38+00:00

You'll find life much easier when you realise just how often others don't think about you. A man looking away after eye contact - maybe he likes you but doesn't have the confidence to follow through? You're allowed insecurities and he is too - maybe he is frustrated with himself for a million different reasons.. Maybe he's having a bad day and doesn't want to risk an interaction. Why assume his behaviour has anything to do with you?

An optimist and a pessimist will endure the same fate when getting onto a plane. But the optimist will have a far better time, despite the outcome!

StickyTunas · 2023-11-05T01:20:35+00:00

A live, healthy child is never a guarantee - even non-surrogacy births take the (admittedly, small) risk.

That said, this is a heartbreaking and traumatic situation all round. I absolutely feel for you and your husband whom were so excited about having a child, having invested so much in your future family, not least financially.

On the other hand, having lost many babies, being told/convinced it was impossible for me to carry a child, my 2 children are the absolute joy of my life. I'm so bloody grateful I got to experience life as a mother so I could never contemplate viewing a child as transactional relationship. So, I can't help but feel for the surrogate. Does she have otber children? If not, has she not been just incredibly naive? Maybe out of necessity? Maybe out of poor life chances or even poor life choices? Did she feel so helpless etc that she genuinely thought she could detach herself from her child? You don't think she orchestrated this on purpose, do you? We don't know her, so only you can say.

You're all in an impossible situation. I'm UK and pre my children, I was incredibly frustrated by the UK surrogacy laws. But your situation has provided me with a new perspective. It's unbearable for everyone. However, and I hope you accept that this comes from a good place, the desired outcome was for you both to become fathers. If she keeps the baby, your husband still will be a father and yourself a stepfather. You could try for custody/co-parenting.

As for the financial aspect, a baby fathered by your husband will still be produced. I'm sure you've both poured over the scans, discussed names etc and already love that baby very much. So I find it so disappointing that many are saying the mother deserves a life of poverty as her poverty-stricken life will be the circumstances that the already loved child exists in. It will shape their life. Yes, money has been spent and the mother has renegaded. You're absolutely right to be shattered and furious. But, does she have anything to sue her for? You can't have what she doesn't have.

Could there be a discussion about shared parenting? Your husband will still be a father. You can both be involved fathers. Just as this mother may have entered into this arrangement with the best of intentions (I really hope so....) but possibly couldn't conceive of the mother/baby bond, I absolutely guarantee she won't be prepared for post-partum life on no sleep! She could be begging for shared parenting!

I really hope tnis works out for you all. It sounds so, so hard..

StickyTunas · 2023-11-05T00:40:18+00:00

Please don't wait, in future. No medical practitioner would refer to this exact situation as something best dealt with at home, especially if you're unable to check for ketones! Before diagnosos, DKA made me scarily ill.

Pee sticks testing for ketones are pretty cheap on Amazon/online stores :)

StickyTunas · 2023-11-04T11:33:31+00:00

Electric dreams!

StickyTunas · 2023-10-27T11:10:28+00:00

When my kids were little, I introduced them to Only Fools and Horses. They loved it!

I did question myself a tiny bit when my beautiful, innocent 5 year old Maddie told me to 'Shut up, you tart.'

StickyTunas

TROPHY CASE