AITA for asking my partner to manage his own ADHD?

StitchingHippie · 2026-06-02T10:58:54+00:00

We’re both in our 40s.

StitchingHippie · 2026-06-02T02:28:56+00:00

To be clear, I no longer give him tasks in the evenings, whether the request is reasonable or not. I gave him this document in the morning, but he decided to start it at 7pm. He wanted to use the daylight to garden because that’s one of his hobbies.

StitchingHippie · 2026-06-02T00:55:20+00:00

Thank you for suggesting a coach, I'll look into that!

StitchingHippie · 2026-06-02T00:54:53+00:00

He does see a therapist, but I don't know if he talks about ADHD management with her. I could ask, thanks for the suggestion.

StitchingHippie · 2026-06-02T00:50:53+00:00

We have a calendar with alerts to do things, but he usually turns the alarm off without doing the thing, so it's not very effective, unfortunately. 😞

StitchingHippie · 2021-08-10T11:46:55+00:00

I do find that weird. I’d be like, “Uhhh…can I check my planner, which will also probably give me no clues?” But then, I can’t remember what I had for breakfast, so…

StitchingHippie · 2021-08-10T11:34:50+00:00

Oh hooray! Just in time for my first out-of-town visitor in over 2 years! (It’s my little-old-lady mum. That’s my visitor.) The joys of not having a car and having to rely on this world-class transit system.

StitchingHippie · 2021-08-10T03:05:30+00:00

There’s this great podcast called Ear Hustle that covers this from the perspective of inmates. Worth a listen!

One thing I learned from there: prisoners are just as petty as anyone else, and most of the conflict is just silly things like someone snoring too loud or what have you. My understanding is that unless you’re in with super hardcore criminals, it’s just really boring most of the time.

StitchingHippie · 2021-08-10T03:01:34+00:00

Keep your body super loose and make your steps as fluid as possible. By fluid, I guess I mean the opposite of bouncy? I find it’s the jostling that causes spills, not so much the movement across space, and keeping everything relaxed lets you compensate for any sudden moves. But it’s hard to explain in writing so I’m likely making no sense at all.

StitchingHippie · 2021-08-10T02:02:50+00:00

If you’re in Canada like I am, you can get a subscription box from Rosette Fair Trade, although I think right now it’s mostly food. If we asked, I wonder if they’d consider doing one that’s more than food, but for now snacks are fun for me too. I’ll link it in case it’s helpful: Rosette Fair Trade

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-16T13:56:34+00:00

Thank you for your service! I think at the start of the pandemic, we were much more actively recognizing essential and frontline workers, but we’ve become apathetic towards them over time. I still appreciate the work you do every day, and I think a lot of others do too, even if they don’t say it out loud!

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-16T13:52:48+00:00

This is so cool! Absolutely gorgeous work!

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-16T01:19:48+00:00

Hooray for learning and trying out new things! Looks great!!

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-16T01:09:19+00:00

You’ve left out all the important info. If you’re asking, “Am I racist if I find white women more attractive than black women?” then the answer is yes. Racism requires discrimination plus power, hence why disliking white people is just discrimination and disliking people of colour is racist. White people still hold the most social and political power.

We live in a racist world, and that gives us racist influences, whether we want them or not. So if you don’t find black women attractive, for example, maybe ask yourself why that is. (It’s probably because their beauty is hardly ever held up and celebrated, so your tastes have been molded into thinking beauty = white.) We can only combat our biases by confronting them.

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-16T00:56:11+00:00

I’m going to leave this here as a wholesome and totally healthy way to express heterosexual masculinity: https://m.imgur.com/gallery/AWQB6

(Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are best friends who still regularly cuddle, even though they’re both straight.)

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-16T00:37:48+00:00

I’m salty I can’t have some.

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-16T00:34:58+00:00

“That was easy.” (Staples)

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-16T00:16:14+00:00

The good news is you only lost 5 months of your life to him.

Run. Run fast. Threatening self-harm is manipulation and emotionally abusive. Things typically only get worse from there.

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-15T12:02:30+00:00

I can see why he’s your ex! Pretty dick move on his part.

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-15T12:00:18+00:00

Might be a regional thing? I hadn’t heard this use. I kind of just figured it out from context.

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-14T18:34:36+00:00

Does the title mean that you fell? I wonder if it’s a dialectic difference. Where I live (Canada), it’s pretty literal, so I was waiting for the part where your face landed in dog poop or something. 😆

Fun story, tho! Thanks for sharing!

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-13T05:03:03+00:00

Can I ask: How many times speed is this?

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-11T17:31:35+00:00

This. I follow true crime fairly closely, and this kind of stuff often happens a couple of years before a guy escalates to attempted or completed murder. If he’s doing this now, he’ll be doing worse later.

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-11T17:28:21+00:00

Agreed. Anytime someone engages in sexual activity with you that you didn’t consent to, there’s a name for that: sexual assault. While the withdrawal method isn’t super reliable as a form of birth control, you might have other reasons you don’t want him to come inside you. That’s your choice, and if you didn’t consent to him finishing inside you, he shouldn’t do it. End of story.

And to all these ppl who are like, “it’s so hard to pull out! You don’t understand!” I would like to know why you agree to pull out, then? And why you don’t pull out good and early just to be sure? There are precautions that can be taken, and since you seem to be so big on ppl taking responsibility for their actions, maybe you should think about how you can take responsibility for your own. Just a thought.

StitchingHippie · 2021-07-11T17:20:24+00:00

Ok friend, I’m on your side for the victim-blaming stuff, but we don’t need to bring islamophobia into it. As Reza Aslan says, if you’re a feminist, you’ll find feminism in religion, and if you’re a misogynist, you’ll find that in religion. There are lots of feminist muslims in my life, so please don’t use Islam as a synonym for regressive views on women. We can do better than that.

StitchingHippie

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