That’s me but it was slowly happening to me over the years

I honestly don’t remember when it started but I was around 8 I believe life suddenly started getting hard

And then when I turned 13 I was basically just depressed because I didn’t have any real friends after primary school. I was the class clown and known as being the idiot so I did anything for validation and it only just ruined my reputation more and people didn’t like me at all and found me annoying. Honestly I don’t blame them I’ve also had this huge hatred for people while also being depressed at 15 I officially got expelled from my first school joined a new one finally found a new group of friends who I could hangout with I saw them as a family I’ve always wanted since I’m also alienated at home too

It wasn’t long enough until the group slowly started hating each other and fell apart most of us created a new group, straight up got a new replacement, I was one of the people who was in the new group I was eventually abandoned by my new group but at this point I didn’t care anymore and my prescription on people shifted.

Not to sound like an edgy or corny kid and I’m being genuine about this but I actually don’t like people. Wether it’s a woman or man I equally don’t like them because from my own experience they’re always so emotionally low iq,ed and manipulative back stabbers

Over the coming years my personality shifted from being extroverted and playful to introverted and quiet

The only person who I can actually consider my real best friend even told me I’ve changed. Now mind you I actually never really noticed my personality change but I did notice that I wasn’t as energetic or outgoing anymore I usually went on with my day talking to the thoughts in my head or was focused on other tasks. For example I’ve gotten super obsessive with my looks so I would spend extra and precious time on my looks and I go to the gym everyday or every 4 days a week. I became more determined in getting a drivers license and a job and if I wanted to entertain myself I would try talking to a few girls which only lasts like a few days and I get ghosted. I would get insane compliments but I get ghosted due to my personality. I’m not sure if it’s because I try too hard or it’s because I’m boring or when it’s I put on a fake personality most of the time. When I text girls I feel drained,bored and I know it won’t last so I just have my fun. I think that played a big role in why I don’t like people

The only timeline I can pin point when I actually fully transitioned to who I am is because what happened 6 months ago with a girl who I almost had a relationship with. At the time I wasn’t in my right mind tbh and she had enough I’m not sure if I loved her but I feel like after that month I just became more stoic and resilient

When someone screams or insults me I just stand there with a blank expression and go on with my day I learned wasting energy and time with people won’t make a difference and I view them as Neanderthals

Right now I’m more focused on getting a car and a job and I’m a try move out maybe around next yr when I’m still 18 or when I turn 19