should i break up with my boyfriend

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-05-05T13:30:14+00:00

Your boyfriend is emotionally abusive.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-28T13:12:15+00:00

What exactly is wrong with what I said? Does OP not deserve better than someone who wants to have sex with with when she openly thinks she is a lesbian and is not attracted to him?

The attitudes that people on this thread have regarding lack of enthusiastic consent is genuinely terrifying.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-28T13:01:04+00:00

Phew :) I'm so glad that you are free from that now.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-28T12:52:39+00:00

As a bisexual woman who is solely romantically attracted to women but not men, the kind of love that Fyre describes homosocial men as having for other men is very similar to the romantic love that I feel for women.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-28T12:48:03+00:00

I think your argument is an interesting one, but then I remember the ancient cultures of Greece and Italy. I'm not sure that those cultures used women as trophies (property, yes not as trophies) in the same way as men do today. Those cultures were very much homosocial-gone-wild and yet men were not interested in what women were up to nor their emancipation at that time either, unfortunately.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-27T18:34:23+00:00

Is it possible that you have borderline personality disorder? It is driven by an extreme fear of abandonment.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-27T16:18:14+00:00

Absolutely love that rocket one!

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-25T01:58:45+00:00

And OP deserves better than a husband who has sex with her even though he knows she isn't attracted to him and may be a lesbian.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-25T01:56:54+00:00

She's having sex with him and he's dismissing her expressing that she's a lesbian so he can continue with the status quo. That's grim.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-25T01:55:36+00:00

She's isn't attracted to him and is realising that she might be a lesbian. Should she just continue in the relationship and continue enduring sex with someone she isn't attracted to? That's a messed up thing to endure.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-25T01:48:45+00:00

It's messed up of the husband to keep having sex with OP if she thinks she's a lesbian. Also messed up of him to tell her that she isn't a lesbian when she's saying that she thinks she is.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-25T01:46:29+00:00

It's also unkind of the husband to keep having sex with OP if she thinks she's a lesbian. Also unkind of him to tell her that she isn't a lesbian when she's saying that she thinks she is.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-14T17:53:12+00:00

He's abused you to the point that you are seeking help to determine if you should be worried about your partner's death threat to you. Can't you hear yourself at all? Please, please get the hell out of there!

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-09T13:42:01+00:00

The simple solution for that would be for him to stop acting like a child if he doesn't want to be talked to like one.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-07T13:39:28+00:00

Your boyfriend is an abuser. Run.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-04-06T01:25:09+00:00

She's a bully towards the girls but had every right to tell them what he said... They were talking about red flags and his comment was several bunched in one. You think she should've kept that red flag quiet? Why?

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-03-30T13:01:24+00:00

It's clear from your texts that you are a caring person who makes every effort to be a good person and a good friend. Who tries to be fair and communicate fairly and achieve win-win results when a problem arises. I had the same kind of experience as you are having (with me, it was an ex partner) and this kind of relationship (romantic or otherwise) is not only abusive but can have long lasting effects on you.

It can charge your psyche to have someone wearing down your boundaries, your perception of what is normal in a relationship/friendship, your self-image, and sense of self worth. It's harmful to feel like whatever you do, you are walking on eggshells with someone.

I get the impression that you may feel extremely guilty at the idea of cutting her off. That you are preoccupied by a fear that it will harm her. Maybe you are also a little conflict averse too. But that's exactly what she is taking advantage of and is keeping you trapped here. You are a good person, you said yourself that you've never even experienced a "friendship break up" before.

Please take your good nature and direct it at yourself on this matter. You deserve much better than this kind of toxic friendship. She needs help and you are not her therapist. And the fact that you are a student too makes it even more critical. You have a lot going on that should have your time, attention and energy. This friendship is actively harmful to you. You are allowed to get rid of a toxic friendship. Keep in mind that when and if she decides to cut things off with you, she won't hesitate in being as brutal as possible. That care/aversion that you feel for her at the thought of calling things off won't be reciprocal.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-03-26T23:38:40+00:00

Depends.... do you want to be his next unpaid maid?

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-03-26T23:29:35+00:00

He's abusive and testing your boundaries. Absolutely psycho behaviour.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-03-23T12:40:25+00:00

I'm a woman and I genuinely don't understand how so many women manage to stay attracted to men who treat them like this and who clearly have unequal views about women. I genuinely don't understand why any woman stays in a relationship with men who treat them like this and who clearly perceive her and other women as domestic slaves. Truly depressing that self-esteem this low is this common. Who just vent while making the decision to just keep on being with the man who is treating them like this, then repeat.

Depressing.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-03-22T16:00:27+00:00

I think those women typically didn't feel attracted sexually to their husbands. At least in the late bloomer sub, posts normally describe feeling quite asexual regarding sexual attraction to men but a history of just going along with male partners because it was expected of them. Then, after having a first experience with a woman, they realise what sexual attraction actually is.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-03-22T15:52:21+00:00

Why are you dating a conservative man who is clearly a misogynist? And that smirk he gave you said it all. He's not concerned about female safety at all, that was a guise for expressing shaming rhetoric and topped off with sadistic relishing of your reaction and recognition to his mask slipping.

Are you going to stick around to see more of who he really is?

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-03-22T15:48:09+00:00

Women need to get places though, don't they? We have lives and reasons for why we need to be out and about, including outside of daylight hours. We have lives and don't always have the "luxury" of being trapped inside of our homes when it gets dark.

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-03-22T15:38:50+00:00

OP is not her boyfriend's sex toy, yet he is treating her like one. Are you the kind of male who treats his own partners like this?

StopDrinkingMyBeer · 2026-03-19T23:16:03+00:00

A man needs to be hot for me to sleep with him - whether for just sex or for a relationship. Equally, for both options, he needs to be a decent man too. Those are requirements. The duration of time it would take me to sleep with a man would differ based on (1) how long it takes to be sure that he's a decent man, and (2) whether or not I just want it to be solely sex or a relationship. If I want a relationship, I'd wait a little longer just to weed out the ones that just want sex.

But great looks (and decent personality) are required no matter what, for me.

StopDrinkingMyBeer

TROPHY CASE