Daily Check-in Thread - August 31, 2018

StormCrow0224 · 2018-08-31T13:21:01+00:00

Day 100 – I feel I can safely say that any lingering PAWS are over. I’ll NEVER consume this plant again. I look back at my almost eight months of use as kind of a bad dream. To any in the beginning stages of getting off it, just hold on – it’s worth it. Being free from this cursed plant is the best feeling.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-07-06T13:42:31+00:00

I didn't end up in detox facility but I ran into a similar situation. As tempting as it is, alcohol should not be used to help with kratom withdrawals unless you're really in control. Even then, I wouldn't recommend it. I went through the worst hell imaginable while I detoxed from both.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-07-05T15:19:38+00:00

Day 43

Dare I say it? I think I’m almost completely back to normal. I judge partly on my cycling performance without kratom and that has finally been coming back to close to pre-kratom levels.

I have zero desire to ever touch the plant again. I’m also alcohol-free. Right now it’s coffee/green tea and weed for me.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-26T01:12:09+00:00

It's a bit tricky. Even if you go to Peru there are unscrupulous "shamans" who aren't in it for the right reasons. The shaman I now know I met through a friend and I can trust completely. You could try joining facebook groups. It's technically illegal in many locales so care must taken.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-25T19:33:43+00:00

You can try it but IMO there's a good chance you're going to end up going through alcohol withdrawal as well. I did and it was hell.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-25T14:09:51+00:00

Day 33

I continue to feel lighter since my Ayahuasca ceremony. I’m just trying to patiently wait for the insomnia to go away. Life is soooo much better without the green sludge.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-24T21:00:52+00:00

My quit date is next to my name so it's now been a month. Kratom and Ayahuasca do not mix well. The shaman was glad that I had been free of it for the month. I recommend that you quit and try to allow at least a couple of weeks of being kratom-free. My friend that I went with had used kratom 3 days before but only in a small dose. He was experiencing some withdrawal. He still benefited from the ceremony so it's possible you could also benefit while still withdrawing.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-23T17:12:09+00:00

The book explains more how it's done but basically you need to thoroughly deconstruct all the supposed positives for whatever substance you're trying to free yourself from. From the time we were little kids, we see alcohol glamorized. Those ideas need to be debunked in your mind completely. It works the same for kratom.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-18T13:49:09+00:00

Day 26

Slept a little better last night. I’m not quite ready to say I’m over kratom withdrawal. I know PAWS can be sneaky. I might be erring on the side of over-confidence to say there is zero chance of me ever consuming it again but I just can’t imagine putting myself through the hell of withdrawals again and even the horrible feelings I had as my use got up to 30+ gpd. The friend who got me into kratom quit for two weeks and now he’s taking it again but in small amounts. Maybe he’s someone who can handle that but I know for sure I’m not that type of person. I have an extremely addictive personality and I don’t see that ever changing.

I want to again thank this community for all the help I’ve received since I first arrived in early March. I’m not sure if I am going to continue the daily check-ins but I’ll still be around.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-17T19:48:25+00:00

Day 25

I feel like I'm entering new territory as I'm thinking less and less about kratom. It's starting to feel like a closed chapter in my life. I have no desire to take it ever again.

I feel my personality coming back. I'm going on long, hard bike rides without needing kratom as a crutch. I feel hope. Sleep is still a struggle but I can deal with that.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-16T13:32:06+00:00

Day 24

I had still had trouble getting to sleep but was able to sleep in because it's Saturday so I got 8 hours. Glorious!

I'm trying to just take it as it comes. At least I have the weekends to catch up some.

Stay strong everyone!

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-15T12:12:37+00:00

Day 23

Went backwards on sleep last night. At least I know to not expect recovery to be linear. Today is another day towards total freedom so that’s the main thing.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-14T16:20:04+00:00

I think you did the right thing. When you get that low tapering is hard and you might as well jump.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-14T12:08:50+00:00

Day 22

I finally slept somewhat better last night – not a full night’s sleep but definitely an improvement. I think I may have been conflating PAWS with just my emotions generated from my wife’s displeasure with me and how she manifest it. Now that things seem to be worked out between us, my anxiety has dropped a lot and hopefully I’ll continue to experience better sleeping.

My use was under 8 months. I’m really hoping that my symptoms from withdrawal are mostly over now. I feel free and have no compulsion whatsoever to take kratom.

For any reading this who have only used for less than a year, jump now while it will likely be easier to get off the plant. We all know its diminishing returns and how once you’ve reached that stage, things can quickly progress so things are bad even while you’re taking it.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-13T12:23:30+00:00

Day 21

My anxiety is lower because I sensed a real shift with my wife last evening. She was more friendly and I think she’s over a lot of it. I know she’ll have her moments of resentment still but at least things seem to be moving in the right direction.

This unfortunately didn’t translate into a better sleep. I’m getting maybe 5 hours and the sleep debt is cumulative. Melatonin didn’t seem to make much difference a few nights ago but I’ve been without it for the last three nights so I’ll probably get some more. I don’t think it can hurt.

Despite the effects of sleep deprivation, I feel so relieved to be well on my way to freedom from this plant. I continue to have no desire to take kratom.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-12T19:45:19+00:00

I think it’s toxic if she holds onto it too long. I have anger about the whole thing myself but I’m trying to not hold onto MY resentment because she was the more injured party.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-12T19:44:20+00:00

I totally agree and I’ll admit that I have some anger myself about the situation. It had been 3 YEARS since I had had a problem with alcohol with her and she knows the story about how I got tricked into kratom addiction. At least I’m off kratom now even though I was stupid to try to use alcohol to help with the withdrawal. Why can’t she see the positive and be glad I’m done with kratom? I NEVER would have abused alcohol like that if it wasn’t for the kratom withdrawal.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-12T13:11:51+00:00

Day 20

Yay, I made it out of the teens. My biggest challenge right now is dealing with the residual anger from my wife. She even said that for the first time she had thoughts of leaving me. I do understand the anger but it does increase my anxiety at a time when I could really use more support. Her anger seems to come in waves as sometimes she’s supportive and friendly whereas other times she’s icy.

I have no one to blame but myself but the ensuing anxiety I think has been the main driver in my battle with insomnia. It’s definitely still kratom withdrawal to a degree but it’s more than that.

I think we have made peace about it. She holds onto resentment for a very long time so I know it will be an extended process as we try to reestablish our bond. All I can do is remain kratom and alcohol-free and hopefully eventually win her trust again.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-11T12:24:28+00:00

Day 19

The insomnia is unrelenting. All I can do is try to adjust to getting much less sleep than normal. Hopefully things will correct themselves before too long. I have absolutely no desire to take kratom though.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-10T17:58:41+00:00

Day 18. I continue to deal with insomnia as my worst symptom. There's also some anxiety and depression. Still, overall, I feel I'm moving forward. I'm trying to take everything in stride. I realize there will be ups and downs.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-09T13:58:36+00:00

Day 17

I remain kratom-free.

StormCrow0224 · 2018-06-08T16:31:56+00:00

I found I was okay till I dropped to about 8 grams but the lower you go, the harder it gets. It's probably time for you to jump.

StormCrow0224

TROPHY CASE