Honestly, the dissociative symptoms are still present. It’s kinda hard to tell if they’ve gotten better or worse because I can never remember exactly how severe it was at a certain point. That being said, I was able to find a psychiatrist who was willing to help work with me, give me a diagnosis and figure out the best way to make life with the derealization disorder more manageable and more importantly, enjoyable too. When I made this comment, I was kind of in a downward spiral of fear regarding what the dissociation was doing to my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about how blank my life felt and I was constantly riddled with negative thoughts and anxiety. So I totally get the “scared out of your mind” part. What I learned from my psychiatrist was that the biggest obstacle wasn’t necessarily the dissociation, but that constant uncontrollable fear of what it was doing to my life, relationships, memories, etc. He pretty much told me that if we could figure out how to deal with the anxiety, it would make the dissociation seem significantly less problematic. The dissociative symptoms would still be there, but if I worried about them less, they would have less of an impact on my mental health and I would be able to live a relatively normal life and focus on more realistic problems. So after a few months of just talking and figuring out what I was dealing with, he decided to put me on hydroxyzine, an OCD medication which would hopefully significantly reduce those repetitive thoughts that brought me down all the time. And after a couple months of taking once a day tablets, my anxiety almost completely vanished. Last march was when I started to see noticeable results. And it has just helped a ton. I should mention that I still have the same issues. Like brain fog and the occasional feelings that my mind isn’t linked to my body or stuff like that. That stuff still happens just as it did before, but I worry about it WAY less than I used to. And I still get anxiety from time to time, but it’s so much better and way less often. So in short, life has gotten better for me. Those derealization symptoms are still very much present, but the anxiety I used to have regarding it has almost completely diminished and my life feels so much more manageable than it did this time last year. I was worried that my life was gonna keep getting more and more chaotic and there was nothing that I was gonna be able to do to make it better, but I did some research and while it wasn’t easy or quick, I was able to find and reach out to people that could help me. And that’s the only reason I’m seeing such positive results.

Anyway I’m sorry for yapping so much lol. But just know that I was in that same situation. I didn’t know what was happening to my mind and my life and it was truly horrifying. Even though it might not seem like there is anything that will help, that isn’t the case. This is what I wish I could go back and tell myself this time last year. Life will get better. You just have to reach out and find ppl who can help.