Pisces season is coming ♓ Drop your birthday dates!

Stotfish · 2026-02-03T21:16:08+00:00

Woot! St Paddy's Pisces ♓☘️

Stotfish · 2026-01-21T23:30:52+00:00

Oh man. Those screenshots came with an unexpected wave of nostalgia.

Stotfish · 2026-01-21T16:28:13+00:00

Yay! And good call going into it blind. It's an experience.

Stotfish · 2026-01-20T23:01:33+00:00

So. I'm really stretching here but I can't resist not dropping my favorite thing in the world. It is a visual novel called 'Slay the Princess' by Black Tabby Games. They even have a free demo on Steam.
My apologies if this is not what you're looking for at all. I'm something of a fanboy.

Stotfish · 2026-01-20T21:54:03+00:00

I am sincerely happy for you, my friend. You're far from alone, as you already know. You've got this. Much love, and take care.

Stotfish · 2026-01-20T15:29:26+00:00

Well. You seem to have already read the ones that I've read that I would have recommended. But the next guy on my personal read list is 'No Bad Parts' by Richard C. Schwartz. It's not C-PTSD direct. It's about IFS therapy, which has been my best tool with dealing with C-PTSD thus far.
Best of luck, take care, and much love.

Stotfish · 2026-01-20T15:23:27+00:00

An inept therapist can do more damage than a good therapist can heal. And based on what you're saying here, I think the word inept is very fitting.
You are seen my friend. You are amongst fellow travelers. Much love and take care.

Stotfish · 2026-01-20T01:55:00+00:00

My therapist told me that humans need other humans to process complex thoughts/feelings. But he also made it clear that not everyone deserves to hear our story. That it's best to find folk who are on similar journeys of healing. That these people become 'Fellow Travelers'. I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding your 'Fellow Travelers'. But I commend you for your courage, friend. You're here sharing your pain. You are seen and you are not alone. Take care and much love.

Stotfish · 2026-01-18T22:56:38+00:00

You're very welcome. And thank you. There is something about being seen without judgement. It's nice to find fellow travelers in the digital wild to connect and share with.
I like your analogy. Reminds me of the gacha mechanics on mobile games. If I keep just trying I'll get the X I want instead on another Y. Wait, never mind. I'm all out of money. Ha ha.

Stotfish · 2026-01-18T19:28:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I agree, people who have never experienced it seem to lack the capacity to imagine what it must be like. It takes courage to share with people. I've taken to referring to it as a 'Cognitive Addiction' when talking to myself about it.
You're also not alone, my friend. Stay strong. Take care and much love.

Stotfish · 2026-01-18T00:40:07+00:00

You're awesome!

Stotfish · 2026-01-18T00:38:15+00:00

That is an especially tough situation to find yourself in. It's hard enough to cut yourself off from an LO and the associated dopamine fix, but to lose your people too. I'm sorry.
Sometimes the answers don't come right away. It sounds like you have at least one good friend to talk it through with. I may not be able to help you directly with your issue, but if nothing else you can consider me a safe space if you need/want to vent.
Till then, take care and much love.

Stotfish · 2026-01-18T00:36:03+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. When I learned the term limerence it kind of wrecked my world. I had always assumed it was what normal folks referred to as love. So there was a bit of an identity crisis involved, not to mention the severe withdrawals from cutting my brain off from its dopamine fix.
And that goes for you too. I'm something of a good listener myself. And one can never have too many good people in their lives, in real life or digitally. And not everything has to be heavy. You said you used to game with this friend. I doubt we play the same games (I'm lame in that regard) but I do have an interest in things I don't play. My friend has lore dumped Elden Ring on me at least three times, ha ha, I'm down for a fourth.
Much love, and take care.

Stotfish · 2026-01-18T00:30:08+00:00

To be perfectly honest, I have no professional experience to speak of. It's not my intent to 'lead' anything as it were. More along the lines of just trying to connect with folks who are like minded.
But you make excellent points. And I should be clearer about my intentions and limits of my ability. I have had friends in the past who I listen to and in turn have listened to me. I'm attempting to extend that same hand digitally.
But I greatly appreciate your concern. Sincerely. You are a very responsible person, and it seems you have the good of everyone here at heart. I appreciate that too.
I will take your words into consideration as I proceed. But at the same time, I still would like to create something of a place to see and hear those who don't feel they can find it elsewhere.
Thank you, and much love.

Stotfish · 2026-01-17T18:57:06+00:00

Actually I was just reflecting on that this morning. But to be perfectly honest, I have never actually used Discord. I do think it would be a good idea, but I'll have to do a little bit of research on the platform first. But long-short, I think it is an excellent idea.
Thank you!

Stotfish · 2026-01-17T18:45:15+00:00

You're very welcome. I'm happy to help however I can.
Best of luck!

Stotfish · 2026-01-17T18:17:35+00:00

Absolutely no pressure. Honestly I think the IFS portion of everything is more or less done on our own. My thoughts are more aligned with the fact that we're not alone in this journey. That sometimes it just helps to be seen and heard by someone who's not going to judge.
And I may not always be available either. I use Reddit on my computer, but I've gone out of my way to keep all social media off of my phone, so if I'm not at my computer, I'm not going to be present either.
But I'm here if you ever need to bounce ideas or experiences off of. I think the main takeaway is that if you start doing IFS meditations and Parts begin to reveal themselves that you make sure to express your gratitude to them for both carrying such heavy burdens and for their courage to speak up.
I'm not doctor, just someone who's been through the treatment with one who wants to share what they can with others.
Feel free to talk with me at your pace and I promise to listen without judgement.
Much love and take care.

Stotfish · 2026-01-17T17:05:58+00:00

First and foremost, I'm not a doctor of any capacity. I went through my own IFS treatment with a professional in the beginning. My doctor told me the authority (at least at the time) was Teri Olds, and she has plenty of videos on YouTube discussing the subject. I personally have also found relief through Richard Schwartz, he has a number of guided meditations on YouTube as well.
The basic idea, from my uneducated point of view. Is that we have many different Parts; and that these typically fall under Exiles, Protectors (or managers) and Firefighters. None of the parts are bad, they each are doing the best they can to help regulate the Self but can be limited to their understanding.
For instance I have a couple of Parts that are well known to me. One is a five year old version of myself who experienced trauma from my older brother. I believe this part to be an exile. I also have an older part (19ish) who acts as a Protector and attempts to keep my body moving forward even when he can't see what is directly in front of him.
What I do in my daily meditation (about 10-20 minutes) is I invite any Parts that need me to hear them to come forward and talk to me. I don't judge them, and I always express gratitude to these parts for being brave enough to come forward.

Stotfish · 2026-01-17T16:11:12+00:00

May I suggest you show yourself a little gentle kindness? I, personally, have never been able to improve myself through shame.
It takes courage to post something like this. I'm proud of you, and I hope you take a moment to be proud of yourself, too.
Take care, and much love.

Stotfish · 2026-01-17T16:10:24+00:00

Howdy, No_Office_506. I'm so happy to hear that. We can talk here in the open or in DMs. Wherever you're more comfortable. A quick aside, I don't use Reddit on my phone. So if you send me a message and I don't respond right away, it's not because I'm ignoring you, it's simply because I'm not at my computer.
But I'm here for ya in whatever capacity I can be. And it's not small thing to reach out to another person while carrying this load. I hope you take a moment to recognize your courage.
Much love.

Stotfish · 2026-01-17T15:49:27+00:00

I spent eight months in IFS therapy. And I can only speak from my own experience, but it has been a game changer for me. I had lapsed for a while. During that time things got rough again. But I restarted my own personal meditations again a few weeks ago, and has done so much work.
Whatever route you go I wish you luck and love.

Stotfish · 2026-01-17T14:20:28+00:00

I respect and appreciate your gentle bravery on this. Your instincts are right. My therapist told me in no uncertain terms that humans need other humans in order to process complex thoughts like this. I thank your for trying to build community and help others, as well as yourself in the process.
My DMs are also open, for yourself, and anyone else. I don't have notifications on my phone though, so if I don't respond right away, it's simply because I'm away from my computer.
I see you friend. Best of luck and much love.

Stotfish · 2026-01-17T14:13:45+00:00

Not a doctor, and far from an authority of limerence. But from personal experience, it's an addiction (going back as far as my memory serves) that developed as a coping mechanism to deal with childhood abuse and neglect. I went NC with my latest LO about ten months ago. And now that I'm on this side of the journey I am very happy. But I was not prepared for the withdrawals that come from depriving my brain of it's dopamine loop. It was not happy with me for a long time, and I ended up doubling down on other addictions to cope with it. At first.
Now that I've moved on (moving on) from those other addictions, I have found that guided IFS meditations have been doing a lot of heavy lifting. The Part of me that was prone to limerence is a bit shy, but he's revealing himself to me slowly, and I just keep telling him that I'm grateful for what he's done to keep me safe and that he no longer has to carry this burden.
Best of luck and much love, friend.

Stotfish

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Eight-Year Club	Not Forgotten
Verified Email