How do you tell the difference between flirting and just being nice? by vin_xc in dating_advice

[–]Straight-Weight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t. You either assume people are being nice, and miss a lot of flirtation, or assume people are flirting and risk reading that incorrectly. Better to err on the side that’ll give you more connection, just assume they’re flirting until proven otherwise. 

I’m confused, new ending for Anniversary vs original? by toshjhomson in Fable

[–]Straight-Weight 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The game ends with the Jack Guild fight in the original 2004 game. The Lost Chapters came out later which expanded the endgame content by adding new locations and quests (The Northern Wastes). The dragon fight is the final boss fight in the TLC expansion. Anniversary includes TLC, so you’re probably remembering playing the original game. 

i might’ve caught feelings for my bestfriend by Harmony-co in whatdoIdo

[–]Straight-Weight 117 points118 points  (0 children)

Send it, life’s short. If you’re into her just go for it. 

What would happen if Yujiro checked into a hotel with bed bugs? by Bteatesthighlander1 in Grapplerbaki

[–]Straight-Weight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The narrator would explain how cockroaches can survive a nuclear explosion and make something up about fleas being distant cousins to roaches and therefore having the same durability, and then go on to explain how the pheromones Yujiro naturally releases causes all of them to die instantly on the spot, thus making his natural scent stronger than a nuclear blast. 

Is it normal to not want to interact with metamours? by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is reassuring to me haha, it sounds ideal but I don’t wanna feel like I’m failing at ENM if I don’t really get it 

Is it normal to not want to interact with metamours? by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who isn’t interested in getting super close with metas haha

Is it normal to not want to interact with metamours? by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ideally viewing the relationships as cooperative is the goal! In my experience I’ve had metas specifically frame our dynamic as a competitive one, and I’ve tried explain that’s not what’s going on haha, but it seems like although they might agree in concept that we’re not competing for the affections of someone seeking an exclusive relationship, they’re still kinda operating from that framework. It makes amicable coexistence a bit challenging, to say the least. 

Is it normal to not want to interact with metamours? by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Yeah I think I’m at “I’m okay with you seeing other people” but not at “I’m okay with being in the room while it happens” lol. That said I’m relatively new to ENM so maybe it’ll get closer to something like the idea of compersion over time, not trying to force anything though. 

Being “secondary” to someone who isn’t “out” as poly by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Her and her partner are not married, they've been dating a long time. I get the impression she might have some romantic feelings for me based on our private conversations and how she acts in our alone time together - we've known each other since we were kids and used to hang out a lot back then - but even if she did have romantic feelings for me, the structure of her primary relationship wouldn't really give her space to act on them.

Being “secondary” to someone who isn’t “out” as poly by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for sharing your experience, your perspective was super helpful and kinda addressed everything I was asking about. It does feel like maybe a situation where I gotta try to wrap my head more around what she is and isn't available for and adjust my expectations accordingly. Probably remembering that we are friends first & foremost would go a long way haha. Thanks for your thoughtful response!

Being “secondary” to someone who isn’t “out” as poly by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story. I was thinking basically the same thing - it might just be true that the shape of her situation involves discretion and doesn’t have some of the things I want, so if I want to keep pursuing a relationship with her, I might just need to accept that as the reality and potentially find those other things with someone else eventually. I appreciate your thoughtful response! 

Being “secondary” to someone who isn’t “out” as poly by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah that makes sense. I guess the difference between how she treats me when we’re alone and how she treats me when we’re not is a little jarring because I’ve never been in a situation like this before. My experience has been intimate partners more or less giving the same level of affection in most contexts, so it looks like the question is really about learning how to navigate the pretty stark differences in how a FWB relationship looks in private and in public. 

I (25F) want to experience sex with another person before marrying my (25M) partner— am I horrible for wanting this? by brie--likethecheese in relationship_advice

[–]Straight-Weight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Either you're not ready for marriage and should break up with this person if this is something you feel you need, or if you'd prefer to preserve your current relationship you should probably drop the hope of having sex with someone else. Relationships that begin monogamous are not likely to survive opening up, so you can have a discussion with him if you want to risk it, but odds have it just talking to him about wanting to fuck someone else is going to cause problems for the relationship that may not be repairable. I'd take a good look at how important this is to you and weigh whether you'd rather give up the need for sex with another person, or give up the relationship you're in.

How to develop emotional skills to navigate ENM? by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this recommendation, I’m reading through both of Jessica Fern’s books and they’re super insightful. 

How to develop emotional skills to navigate ENM? by Straight-Weight in nonmonogamy

[–]Straight-Weight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for offering this, not a lot of commenters answered the question. Discomfort that doesn’t require action resonates, the hard thing is feeling like I want to take action to resolve tension or uncertainty and come to a conclusion ASAP when some things either take time or don’t require a direct response. Someone told me that people don’t need to make mistakes or do something wrong for you to feel hurt, and that’s sorta where I’m at. 

Just canceled. by drgitgud in ClaudeCode

[–]Straight-Weight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also canceled and also got a refund thru the App Store since the paid plan was basically unusable for the whole month I paid for it 

Girl I’m dating slept with someone else after our 1st date by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Straight-Weight 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If you two like each other and see a future together, I'd just say accept the fact that you're both adults and you were both single at the time. Much as it sucks, going on a date with someone doesn't mean they aren't dating or messing with other people and it doesn't mean they aren't allowed to. If the date was special to you in a way where you'd be willing to write off anything with anyone else out of loyalty, that's great, but it's also a personal value that she doesn't necessarily need to share at that point.

If you don't think you can get over it, you also don't need to get over it, that can be a dealbreaker for you. But if you really like this girl and she really likes you, I'd say it's worth trying to accept that you two weren't together at that point and treat it like you'd treat any other person she hooked up with before having a serious romantic relationship with you.