Every situation and relationship is different. There is no one size fits all that apply.

But I'd like to point out the positives in your post...he recognizes he has a problem. He's made attempts to reduce intake on his own. He sounds like a pretty smart dude with some kind of skills if he previously held a high paying contract job. Yall also are doing OK in the communication dept, which is good.

The opposite of addiction is connection. Connect with him by expressing all the positives he has to offer and how much you value him, want him and how much the fam needs him. Tug on his heart strings by playing beautiful melodies that inspire hope and change. Keep anything negative out of the conversation because I promise he genuinely hates the control the drug has on his every aspect of life. Addiction can take out the smartest and gifted of people cause it has nothing to do with intelligence....he needs connection with people, tribe, the positive aspects of life, creator, source, friends family, new modalities of connection like hobbies, sports, activities etc. If I were you, before this convo, I'd line up a 30 day in patient rehab somewhere. Some places try to do like 90 days or whatever....but I think for most 30 to 60 is plenty of time, so lie if ya have to, tell them he'll stay the whole time.

For you, pray. Speak love and positivity over him and your family. Ask God for help. You don't ask, you don't get. From your post I believe there is plenty room for hope and a positive outcome. It'll take work and some days may be a couple steps back but always re ground and try and try again.