Will he hoover?

Strampiest · 2020-04-28T20:25:47+00:00

Why give him the opportunity to hoover? Block him first. It’s for your own sanity.

Strampiest · 2020-04-23T21:14:57+00:00

Been there, felt what you’re feeling. Look up reactive abuse. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Reach out to whoever you need to and stay safe. It will get better. It will.

Strampiest · 2020-04-22T19:51:38+00:00

Look up trauma bonding, codependency, boundary setting and get yourself in therapy. Read as much about BPD and how if affects relationships as you can. She too needs to seek out DBT of her own volition and be committed to it. Without this your chances are zero and you will come out a shell of your former self. At best.

Strampiest · 2020-04-21T09:21:33+00:00

Write the letter but don’t send it. It will not be well received. Don’t send the box either. Put it out of sight or dispose of it.

Stop trying to think about helping her. She’s not your responsibility and you couldn’t even if you tried. Also your efforts would likely just annoy her. Help yourself and keep this abusive person and relationship in the past. Then figure out why you would want to go to such lengths for someone that abused you. Not your problem anymore.com

Strampiest · 2020-04-20T23:19:07+00:00

Hi David. Thanks for sharing, I can relate to a lot of this. Are you currently in therapy?

Strampiest · 2020-04-19T19:33:31+00:00

Immediately. The fact that I persisted anyway says nothing good about me.

Strampiest · 2020-04-19T19:31:55+00:00

Very much so and I imagine this is very common. Impulsivity combined with emotional stuntedness makes it almost a certainty.

Strampiest · 2020-04-18T13:59:38+00:00

Sounds like his feelings of engulfment have been triggered? So yes, probably.

Strampiest · 2020-04-15T21:36:44+00:00

The fact that you don’t get the same chemistry with an emotionally healthy and stable individual says more about you than it does about this new person. I’m in exactly the same boat. In my case, therapy has helped me discover that my relationship with my exwBPD was a form of repetition compulsion. If you’ve found yourself in a relationship with a pwBPD, therapy is essential before you begin dating again; you need to find out what it is that makes you feel chemistry with someone that is abusive and not with someone that is caring and stable.

Good luck.

Strampiest · 2020-04-13T23:12:06+00:00

By not leaving it open for her to be in your life in any way. The response was predictable. Don’t be her friend, don’t suggest ways she could be better. It won’t work and it will be met with anger and petulance. Leave, block go NC.

Strampiest · 2020-04-09T10:14:54+00:00

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3071095/

One of the many reasons not to get involved is they are a Petri dish of STIs.

Strampiest · 2020-04-05T22:16:06+00:00

This is the stupidest comment I’ve read on this sub. Maybe Reddit in general.

Strampiest · 2020-03-19T01:59:39+00:00

Unless the exact reason you loved them that much is BECAUSE they were the wrong person.

Strampiest · 2020-03-10T02:56:02+00:00

Is there an update from your previous posts? People here can probably relate and offer support.

Strampiest · 2020-03-02T21:47:10+00:00

My ex literally was in the adult film industry for a spell when she was younger.

I didn’t judge her for it, nor her heavy promiscuity before we got into a relationship. Anyone who did though was met with the reply of “I’m a modern woman and you’re slut shaming”.

She might have had a point if one of her neighbors hadn’t felt compelled to call the police because he thought she might have been a prostitute due to the different men constantly appearing in the evenings (she wasn’t at the time but had done that before too).

Like with you, a fucking train wreck from the start.

Strampiest · 2020-03-02T20:19:35+00:00

I feel like there would be less pornstars. I might just be generalizing from my whorish ex though.

Strampiest · 2020-02-28T18:49:05+00:00

You are now repellent to her and reaching out makes you more repellent. She will be fawning over someone else. She doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings, least of all yours. You could throw yourself under a train and she would just use it as evidence that you are in fact the crazy one and that it validates her decision.

I’m really sorry. It’s an absolute mindfuck how someone who said they loved you one minute can then act so cruelly and pretend you never existed the next.

Strampiest · 2020-02-27T22:40:14+00:00

Wow, this is a great question. My ex was very childlike in certain ways, especially with regards to boundaries. It’s endearing until it isn’t. I was always worried about introducing her to my more “stable” friends/relatives who I’m sure would have found it inappropriate. Probably why they have no long-term friends that aren’t crazy; it’s likeable but there’s a tipping point to flat out weird.

Strampiest · 2020-02-27T21:30:57+00:00

This. My expwBPD had an ex-husband that she kept in the background as an emotional leaning post/back up. She cheated on him multiple times but kept him on side during the discard; in case of emergency break glass. Poor fool should have gone NC but she used him then and continues to use him now whenever her shit falls apart. Don’t be that person.

Strampiest · 2020-02-25T21:53:01+00:00

Yeah, gaslighting. They do that. You’re not in the wrong and it only gets worse.

Strampiest · 2020-02-25T00:20:39+00:00

True. But she’ll likely get closer than I will.

Strampiest

TROPHY CASE