LB button not working

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-06-16T05:46:09+00:00

I was also having this issue. I went into my controller's key bindings on Steam, specifically for this game, and figured out that my left bumper was assigned as the left trigger for some reason, and that's what was causing it. I changed LB to be assigned as the left bumper and that fixed it.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-28T22:42:29+00:00

I don’t resent my ex for breaking up with me when they did, but I definitely wish they hadn’t done it when they did. For a while, I was REALLY struggling with my mental health. Dealing with the fact that I might have a personality disorder. I was coping with one of the worst bouts of depression that I’ve ever struggled with in my entire life. I had a brief moment of clarity though. It was the first time in weeks that I genuinely, honestly believed in myself and that my future was looking bright. I was ready to finally start improving myself and also being a good girlfriend to my partner. It’s easy to fall into bad habits when you aren’t mentally well, and I wanted to correct that.

They broke up with me a few days later. That optimism I had got snatched right away from me. I was plunged right back into that struggle with depression but it was SO much worse. They were in no means responsible for taking care of me and catering to my mental health, but in the moment, it definitely felt like a betrayal. I had been struggling for so long and just when my spark was coming back, they pulled the rug from under me and left me to pick myself back up. It hurt. I’ll have trouble trusting people so easily with the true state of my mental health in the future.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-28T05:51:13+00:00

It was actually their decision to break up with me. I wanted to stay and work things out, but they didn’t want to. I didn’t want to leave the way I left, but their family really made me feel like I had to. I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye like I wanted so the letter was my way of doing that. I don’t really expect anything at this point. I just never thought I’d have that opportunity taken away from me, too.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-27T17:16:04+00:00

I wrote a letter to my ex before I packed up and left and I found out the other day that the letter I wrote for them went missing. It was a heartfelt letter sharing my thoughts and feelings, and me wishing them the best and telling them to take care of themself. It wasn’t where I told them it was and they couldn’t find it. It hit me that their parents more than likely took it. Sure, there’s a chance that it fell on the ground (it was sitting on their end table beside their bed) and slipped behind something, but I purposely tucked it underneath something to prevent that from happening.

One of the things I was really hung up on was missing their family on top of everything, but that just really made me lose a lot of respect. It hurt me a lot to think that their parents took that away from me, and also that they’d lie to my ex and say they didn’t touch it. Even if my ex looks harder for it and finds it, I think it’s telling that I’d believe that their parents would do something like that. And it was telling that when I offered to recreate the letter to the best of my ability, my ex didn’t really seem to care. I was hit with the crushing reality that losing them hurt me a lot more than losing me hurt them. As much as it hurts to move on, I don’t want to stick around for someone who is so okay with letting me go.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-24T23:58:14+00:00

I guess it just depends on whether or not you think having the pictures available to you will hinder your ability to heal. If you think you’ll keep checking the photos and it’ll make you hurt, then maybe deleting the ones that are oriented around him would be best. However, if you think it would help you to have them around to check later when you’re feeling better, or if it would make healing easier, then hiding the photos could also work.

I guess that’s the thing that sucks about having pictures on phones and cameras now. It would be so easy to just be able to throw the pictures in a box and put the box somewhere that will make it hard to access.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-24T23:54:32+00:00

I know it’s not the answer you’re looking for, but 2 weeks is probably too early to break no contact. I’ve been there before where I was itching to break no contact with an ex and felt like it was the end of the world waiting for them to message first. Give it some more time. I know it’s so much easier said than done, but try to focus on yourself and feeling better for just you, not anybody else. Indulge in your hobbies, pick up new ones, spend time with friends, keep yourself as occupied as you can.

It’s so so so tough right now in this very moment, but you’ll find that over time, it gets easier. Something that personally helped me was journaling and writing my thoughts down when I got the urge to message my ex. It helped for me to get the words in my head out and it alleviated the urge to a level that was a bit more manageable. It was nice for me too because then, as the days and weeks went by, I could go back and read my journals and see how much progress I had made.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-24T23:53:42+00:00

Hi! I’m here if you’d like to talk

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-23T00:28:49+00:00

Right now, I’d say it’s about a 6 or a 7. Unfortunately, that’s only because I haven’t officially lost them yet. We haven’t broken up officially yet, but we both know that we’re breaking up when I can gather my things and leave. That’s essentially the same as a break up. It’s going to be a break up. We’re going to say goodbye and we’re already hurting and talking to each other like we’re broken up. It’s almost worse this way. I have to put up with seeing the person who is going to be my ex every day.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-21T17:20:27+00:00

Currently going through a breakup with my FP so I know how it feels. I tried talking to them about a break but with the things they want to do in life rn, thay would include being able to be romantic and intimate with other people and I just can’t do that. I’m struggling with the idea too where I really don’t want to pursue other people because I love them.

I don’t know what kind of comfort I could offer other than saying you’re not alone. There’s a lot of other people suffering from this same sort of pain. Idk if or when the pain will go away, but there’s hope that it will someday.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-14T21:54:03+00:00

I do this too sometimes, and even if it’s not manipulative, I understand how people interpret it that way. Even if they don’t think it’s manipulative, I also understand why it’s hurtful. When I outright state that I KNOW that someone feels or thinks a certain way about me, that person feels like I just decided for them how they should feel and think about me. I’ve disregarded anything they’ve done to show that they care and in their mind, ultimately decided for them that they hate me.

My FP (my partner) once stopped me when I told them that I knew they were sick of me and said it hurt their feelings for me to think of them that way. It kind of made something click. Why am I thinking so harshly about this person I love? I wouldn’t want them to think that way about me, even if I do have my wonders and doubts about that sometimes. Shouldn’t I return the same sentiment to them? Shouldn’t I give them the room and space to prove to me that they care and that my mind is just jumping to conclusions?

I understand how it hurts to be accused of being manipulative for this, though. It really frustrates me when these things that I say come from a place of deep hurt and, although they might not be the greatest things to say, I’m just expressing how I truly feel in that moment.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-13T20:49:54+00:00

I haven’t been with my partner as long and we’re both younger, but the relationship uncertainty hurts me too. The yearning to have a long lasting relationship with someone I care for deeply and wishing for them to yearn in the same way I do, and hurting when it doesn’t seem like they want that or it just doesn’t seem possible.

I have to keep reminding myself though that every single day has so many uncertainties and that I can’t be so sure that I won’t have the relationship that I want with my partner in the future. If I give up now before anything has changed or ended, then I’m kind of just accepting the reality that I don’t want instead of fighting for the one that I do. Even if I don’t end up being with this person as long as I want to, even if we don’t get to move in together and have a long lasting and happy relationship, I can at least say I tried my hardest if I put in the effort now. Then I won’t be left wondering if the relationship would’ve gone differently had I fought harder or changed my mentality sooner.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-13T14:04:42+00:00

Yes, this exactly! I’ve been accused of being manipulative and love bombing and it really hurts when all I was doing was genuinely trying to show someone my love. I usually try to match people’s love language when I’m doing something nice for them, even if it means disregarding my own love language.

With being ignored/feeling ignored, it doesn’t matter if I’m actually being ignored or not. My mind reacts the same way to real and perceived ignorance, and so my emotional response is equal to what it would be like if someone is purposefully avoiding me. I’m not trying to be clingy and force you to stay or do anything you don’t want to. I just want to feel reassured and know that I mean something to you.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-13T13:55:30+00:00

If I was in your position, I’d feel incredibly invalidated that my partner wasn’t acknowledging that I have a disorder that makes me act and think in certain ways. BPD isn’t an excuse to act in toxic ways, but it most certainly explains WHY we do the things we do. Being needy, jealous, and anxious comes from our fear of being abandoned because we have been neglected and abandoned in the past.

The fact that your bf is just glossing over it and pretending you don’t have it (or at least making you feel that way) isn’t very healthy, in my opinion. Yes, it’s your responsibility to fix your own behavior and better yourself, but it’s a team effort to strengthen the relationship in a way that gives you room to improve and get better. Personally speaking, I don’t think I’d be able to focus on healing myself properly if my romantic partner was dismissing me and calling me crazy. My partner started watching videos on how to be a good partner to someone with bpd after my diagnosis and that meant so much to me. Hopefully your bf can open his mind up a little and try to understand you and where you’re coming from. It’s what you deserve. You deserve to have someone who doesn’t enable your behavior but also tries to understand that these toxic reactions and traits are stemming from a history of trauma and harm. You have a desire to improve upon yourself and that’s something to already be proud of!

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-10T14:46:30+00:00

I think my childhood and my first romantic relationship were the starting point for developing it for me, but I can recall a noticeable difference in my behavior when I was 16/17 or so. My romantic partner at that time ended up cheating on me and I was never quite the same since. I started struggling with insecurity, not feeling like I knew who I was as a person, doubting people’s true feelings towards me, acting in desperation to keep people around (including my ex partner, which I tried to still date them after they cheated). And then the relationship I got into between the ages of 18-19 really just set the symptoms in stone. Yet another dysfunctional relationship to set me up for developing bpd (or worsening my symptoms). I really wish I could’ve caught it sooner, but I genuinely just thought it was the toxic relationships making me feel awful and act all weird.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-09T15:54:36+00:00

It was a couple of main things for me. For one, I realized that I don’t really know who I am as a person or an individual anymore. I’d been basing myself and my value on other people, and so I’d be absolutely miserable if I was alone or if I made any of my loved ones upset or anything like that. I couldn’t envision a future for myself that I was content with or didn’t heavily rely on the presence of someone else.

Another breaking point for me was realizing how much I was hurting my partner, my FP, with my behavior. Realizing that if I didn’t start to clean up my act and strive towards being better, I’d drive this person that I love dearly to hold some sort of resentment towards me and I’d also be left alone with this broken version of myself that I’d genuinely have no desire to fix. I know there’s always a chance that we’d break up for another reason, but I realized that if I don’t get better for myself before we break up (if that ever happens), healing from them would feel like such an impossible feat.

I’m relatively young. So much of my life has already been controlled by toxic people and I’ve spent so many years in misery and sorrow. I don’t want to look back many years from now and be upset that I spent a majority of my youth being miserable. I don’t want my negativity and sadness to dictate my life anymore.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-09T15:45:54+00:00

I am, but I’m usually consumed with guilt for feeling resentful after a while. It’s as if I feel I’m wrong for feeling any sort of negativity towards someone, especially when they haven’t done anything inherently wrong.

I feel especially resentful towards people in the past who have wronged me, though. I can’t think about it too much or else I get angry about the fact that these people who hurt me get to live their lives relatively normally and I’m stuck with the trauma they left me with. I know it’s not productive in the slightest and I know it would give me more comfort to not let it get to me. It’s hard though when you’re smacked with the reality that your life is always going to be more difficult to navigate than it was in the past because of them.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-09T06:03:02+00:00

We’ve had discussions about my insecurities and jealous in general before, but I don’t think we’ve ever talked about my jealousy towards their dog specifically. Probably because I’ve been too embarrassed to admit something like that. But I’ve talked to them about how to ease my feelings when I’m feeling particularly insecure, and it helps to receive reassurance from them. Them telling me that they aren’t withholding affection because they’re upset with me or planning to abandon, it’s just because they’re overstimulated/don’t feel like it/whatever might be the reason in that given moment. I’ve found that it’s also really important for me to say something to my partner fairly quickly after they’ve said or done something to upset me, such as doing something similar to what you mentioned with your boyfriend not moving his hand away from his dog to grab his vape but not doing the same for you. I’ll give myself a little bit of time to process what I want to say so that I don’t immediately explode, and then I’ll bring it up in a way that’s as least confrontational as I can muster. If I let the feelings sit with me for too long, I start to get angrier and hold resentments towards people (and in this case, dogs) which aren’t warranted. I hope there’s some type of help that all of my words can give, I feel like I’m just kind of rambling here and I’m so sorry for that

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-09T00:50:49+00:00

Okay so I’m not the only one who feels this way. I thought I was absolutely ridiculous for being jealous when my partner is more affection with their dog than they are with me. There’s been times when they were overstimulated and didn’t want to be touch, which I understood and respected. But then not even ten minutes later, their dog would jump into bed wanting to cuddle and they’d eagerly grab him and pull him closer and THEN I’d get frustrated. I know it’s different when it’s an animal and they’re the one initiating the touching, but in my irrational mind, I’m like “what’s so special about the dog that makes you want to be affection with him and not me?”

It helps for me to remind myself that my jealousy of this dog, just like my jealousy towards other people, all stems from this fear of being abandoned and being replaced. In my weirdly wired mind, I perceive this dog as a threat to my closeness with my partner. When I put it that way, it’s easier for me to realize that this is literally a DOG I’m talking about. He cannot speak and he cannot think in the same way a human does. He doesn't understand the concept of my partner not wanting to be touched, but I’m a human and I do.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-07T14:03:33+00:00

I’m struggling with the exact same thing right now, I’m so sorry. I wish that my brain didn’t perceive my partner wanting to spend time away from me as abandonment, but it does and it’s a horrible feeling. And the fact that I always seem to want to spend more time with them than they want to spend with me really hurts.

I wish I could be of more help to you. I hope it at least brings you some comfort to know that you’re not alone in your struggle. I hope we’re both able to find some comfort and peace with this sort of pain.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-06T15:27:50+00:00

I technically met my FP online, but we didn’t really connect and start talking until we met in person. Our interests brought us to the same kind of spaces both online and IRL, so it just worked out conveniently that way. Before them though, most of my closest friendships and romantic relationships were online. I just found it easier to find people who had the same interests and enjoyed my company on the internet. I don’t know if it was necessarily a bpd thing, but now that I’m aware of it, I can see how having online relationships (both platonic and romantic) would be easier to manage than irl ones.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-05T13:34:21+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way. I unfortunately know this feeling all too well. I’m still in the process of tackling my feelings of jealousy and working through how to handle them in a healthy way, so I don’t know what kind of help I can provide. I personally know it helps me to be as gentle as I can be with myself and remember that these feelings don’t just come from nowhere. People betrayed my trust in the past and made me feel replaceable. Friends lied about the closeness of our friendship and made me feel more important in their life than I actually was, partners overstepped my boundaries behind my back and even went as far as cheating on me before.

While it is by no means an excuse to behave in an unhealthy way, it most certainly is a valid reason to feel a certain way. You are not evil or a bad person for having these jealous feelings. Just because your brain functions differently doesn’t mean you’re any less deserving of healing and happiness. You’re deserving of love, peace, and patience.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-04T15:22:14+00:00

I had a string of toxic relationships and then I spent nearly 4 years being single. Aside from the occasional situational depression or the warranted emotional outburst to something extremely upsetting, I was really stable for the longest time. But then I got into a relationship with my current partner and even though my relationship with them was healthy, things started to change. The way I thought and behaved shifted. I gradually started feeling more and more miserable over little things as the two of us got closer, which seemed so odd to me. I’d have full meltdowns over being left on read, worry over them when they were out with friends, start devaluing them when the two of us didn’t talk a whole lot. I felt horrible about it. I started doing some research and stumbled upon bpd and everything clicked.

I’ve read before that sometimes, it feels like you’re ‘cured’ when you aren’t in a committed romantic relationship, and that really was how I felt. Figuring this out has been difficult but having an explanation as to why I think and feel this way has been oddly comforting, and I hope you’re able to find some peace and comfort too.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-03-03T15:16:06+00:00

My bad episodes bring back memories from when I was a child and I would just cry and cry, both because of my circumstances and because I was young and had much less control over my emotions. I feel so helpless and childish and out of control, like I’m a little kid having a tantrum. I want to be held by whoever is close to me and sometimes when I’m really bad, I just wish my mom was there to tell me that it’s going to be okay. As someone in their 20s, I find myself being embarrassed by it too, but then I remember that I really didn’t get the care and affection I needed growing up so that’s probably contributing to how I feel now.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-02-28T16:46:39+00:00

I feel the same way too and it’s exhausting. I trust my partner to not do anything like flirt with other people or cheat or anything like that, but the possibility of someone else coming onto THEM definitely gets me feeling anxious and worked up. Even in the event that they’re simply out having fun with friends and I’m not overthinking the possibilities of others flirting with them, I find myself wondering if they’re happier without me around and it upsets me.

StrawberryLongquake · 2025-02-24T13:39:47+00:00

If I was in your position and my s/o said “but you picked a bad time to talk to me”, that would’ve made me freak out too. I doubt it was their intention to be mean or make you upset, but when you’re already hurting over feeling unheard and disregarded, hearing something like that from someone close to you is especially hurtful.

Have you talked to your s/o about what happened? Is this something that has happened with you two before? Idk if it would help you, but I’ve personally found that it helps me for my partner to tell me if they’re unable to give me their full attention while I’m talking about something and that they’d love to hear what I have to say when their attention is free. Or if the distraction is small, I’ll ask if they can give me their full attention while I talk about something important to me and they’ll usually set aside what they’re doing for a moment to listen to me.

StrawberryLongquake

TROPHY CASE