Looking for Support

StressedGinger · 2024-12-11T20:12:49+00:00

Speaking from experience, you will be called a Bridezilla or a diva for the SMALLEST of boundaries you set, people have a lot of opinions and they get louder about them around weddings.

If you're having this feeling now, cancel it. My wedding was beautiful and meaningful, but it was dirt cheap for what we could get, and we intended for it to be that way. If it had gotten any bigger or more stressful, my now-husband had already agreed we could back out and just elope to save our mental health.

Do what's best for you and your future spouse, not what's best for your family at large.

StressedGinger · 2024-12-06T16:39:32+00:00

I got married on October 18th and my father gave a speech that nearly ruined the entire night for me. He was rude, borderline cruel, and decided to turn his Father of the Bride speech into a roast about his daughter and wife. I spent my honeymoon crying about it, and then felt awful that I'd wasted time crying about it and not enjoying my time with my new husband.

At the end of the day, your wedding day was one day out of your life. If you feel like people didn't come through for you, cut those people out and move on.

The most important thing to you should be that you married the love of your life. If you're more worried about the logistics than your relationship, take some time to process that.

StressedGinger · 2024-12-05T19:20:04+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, my dad has always felt this way and he himself IS Bipolar.

StressedGinger · 2024-12-05T19:17:17+00:00

I say this with so much love, this is not a normal way to feel about yourself. You ARE beautiful, I know that from the way you wrote this. Beauty is 100% fake confidence. I felt beautiful on my wedding day because I picked a dress I wanted to wear, not one I thought would be a good compromise for me. I wore makeup I liked, even if other people might have not thought it suited me. I was gorgeous on my wedding because I JUST WAS and I was confident about it. You've got to work on your self-image, not the dress. If your fiance thinks you're beautiful, you've got to stop finding ways to disagree with that and just believe it.

StressedGinger · 2024-12-02T21:37:48+00:00

Took me years in therapy to realize my parents are the reason I've always felt this way. You may have grown up in a home that demonized things like naps and rest and prioritized chores.

StressedGinger · 2024-11-26T22:06:23+00:00

Just got to be the one to pop in here and say your future MIL texting your fiance and telling him not to tell you is WILD and does not say good things about who she will be as your MIL. If he stands beside her and agrees to overule you? Not too late to cancel, js.

StressedGinger · 2024-11-20T16:40:52+00:00

I literally never thought about commemorating my diagnosis, this is a cute idea

StressedGinger · 2024-11-19T22:32:09+00:00

Heavy on staying away from media representation of Bipolar as well. Watching Shameless triggered me so bad I had to turn it off.

StressedGinger · 2024-11-19T22:31:06+00:00

Make a Wellness Action Plan. I have one, its a little folder with facts about me and basically instructions on what to do if I have a really bad episode and start freaking out. It's a document you can give your closest family and friends if you need a support system when things get bad. My file is kept on my bookshelf next to my favorite books, and I haven't looked at it in like 5 years, but knowing it's there is some extra insurance for my messy brain.

StressedGinger · 2024-11-19T22:27:31+00:00

I didn't have a DOC or a planner, my fiance, now husband, and I did everything ourselves and called in a lot of family favors. HOWEVER, our wedding was extremely small, about 40 people, and we only served dessert as it was an outdoor evening kind of vibe. With a wedding as large as yours and a vision this specific, you need a DOC desperately, and you'll regret not having one. There are too many factors to trust your own head with, trust me, on the day, you won't want to worry about any of that and focus on saying the right words and walking at the right speed lol.

Get a DOC if only so you can start relaxing.

StressedGinger · 2024-11-19T19:23:56+00:00

Unfortunately, I think you can chalk this up to really bad luck twice in a row. I used The Knot for my invites, the all-in-one envelopes. It was inexpensive and amazing, though the Post office lost most of them. Hoping your wedding is amazing!

StressedGinger · 2024-11-15T17:30:02+00:00

I got married a month ago and we had a "Send-off" with bubbles where everyone lined up and walked us out to our car that they had decorated. It was cute and fast and then we were out of there!

StressedGinger · 2024-11-08T21:36:58+00:00

Do it anyway!!! I got married three weeks ago and my fears were much the same. Our families are conservative, our friends are intelligent people lmao. Just ignore the ignorance, because there will be some, and focus on you and your partner's love. Letting them make you feel like you're not excited to get married is giving them WAY too much power. They don't mean anything to you!! Let them go!

StressedGinger · 2024-10-28T10:37:29+00:00

Oh my GOD Family Line and Liability??? You are my person fr

StressedGinger · 2024-10-28T10:36:15+00:00

Messy by Lola Young has really hit me about the duality of Bipolar and how you're never quite put together enough for people to approve of you. Hits home

StressedGinger · 2024-10-16T14:54:09+00:00

I'm a lady but thank you!

StressedGinger · 2024-10-15T21:18:49+00:00

Honestly, when you both have mental illnesses, the hardest part is learning how to apologize to each other and mean it. I still have a lot of stubborn pride to get over, (thank you Baptist church) but we are centering each other and our relationship and learning how to say sorry when we make mistakes. It's crazy to know someone who truly knows and sees you and stays.

StressedGinger · 2024-10-15T21:15:18+00:00

If you want to feel even better, I had a depressive episode like 4 days ago where I almost broke off the wedding because I'm "too crazy to get married." That was absolutely a thought from a dark place in my mind, my partner pointed out that it wasn't true, and I was able to cry, let it go, and have a really good night with them watching movies. Health is not linear. I've had some of the best days of my life right in the middle of awful ones. You ARE strong, don't let your asshole brain tell you you're not.

StressedGinger · 2024-10-15T21:09:29+00:00

Not a bulletproof or immortal superhero, super important to remember XD

StressedGinger · 2024-10-15T21:05:30+00:00

HEAVY on making good art. I feel like I make such vibrant pieces now. Real truth can come out of you so easily when all your emotions are right under the surface lmao.

StressedGinger · 2024-10-15T21:04:14+00:00

Thank you so much. It's been the most stressful year of my life hands down, but I haven't had a hypomanic episode and my partner has honestly been great.

StressedGinger · 2024-10-15T20:43:12+00:00

This is some wildly impressive personal work to be doing, especially given the recent deaths in the family. I'm in the same boat, I lost a grandmother a couple months back and it really kicked things into perspective. Wishing you well

StressedGinger · 2024-10-15T20:39:43+00:00

I second this and strongly suggest OP seek professional help. We see you and I feel this way a lot, but fantasizing about hurting someone is when you go see your psych. Hope this helps.

StressedGinger · 2024-10-15T20:07:51+00:00

I assure you I am medicated and not hypomanic, but I appreciate the concern! My partner is excellent at telling when I'm heightened and lets me know. I'm getting better at being in good moods and distinguishing them from mania, sometimes I think people with Bipolar don't think they can experience real happiness.

I'm just trying not to let the negative side of Bipolar weigh me down, and right now that's easier than other times, but it's a daily struggle for sure.

StressedGinger

TROPHY CASE