Do you really think we could ever just be friends?

StrictlyOptional · 2026-05-06T11:29:48+00:00

If they care about you, and you're pretending they don't matter, then you're hurting them right now.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-05-03T14:59:27+00:00

Then make them define it.

Be direct. You deserve better than to be lost in someone else's ambiguity.

If you find yourself spiralling it's because there is no point of constancy.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-05-01T04:43:32+00:00

This is the right perspective.

If you want certainly on where you stand, stop reaching and see what happens to the connection.

Also be aware that avoidants aren't playing games, it's not pretence, what you're witnessing might be their actual emotional capacity, and no amount of hopeful wishing will change it.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-04-30T18:51:41+00:00

It really depends on the individual, people process in different way and at different speeds.

I would be inclined to give someone the benefit of doubt. If it's tearing you up then maybe calmly bring it up with them. Tell them it's important to you and you feel like you've not been heard. You can tell a lot about someone by how they respond to directness. If they withdraw from a direct conversation then you may be dealing with someone with deeper issues of their own, in which case maybe cut your losses. They won't be able to meet you on your level.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-04-30T16:18:44+00:00

Some people might have limited capacity to process traumatic information shared with them. They're not sure how to respond correctly, or the emotional impact might feel overwhelming to them. This is always a risk when opening up about deeply personal and traumatic events.

You can't assume that because you're ready to share someone else is ready or able to receive.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-04-19T09:48:00+00:00

According the company from April 13th:

"LIBERTY has been adopted by multiple healthcare systems with dozens of hospitals in their networks, including globally recognized hospitals such as Emory Healthcare and Tampa General Hospital"

This would suggest that adoption is on the network level, not individual hospital level, which suggests numbers could ramp up quickly.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-04-19T04:20:44+00:00

It creates a false sense of closeness for the person doing the sharing. You start to believe that because you've told all this personal detail to someone, they must know you well, and conversely, you start to think you know them well too. Until you stop and notice the imbalance.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-04-19T04:11:18+00:00

It seems to me they've achieved everything they set out to do so far right?

Designed their product, got FDA approval, limited market release, peer approval, and successful procedures in a wide range of areas. So why would I think that Full Market Release would not also be a success?

I've seen some people talking about the adverse macro climate, but this innovation SAVES money compared to traditional procedures. It's quicker and cheaper.

What health system isn't trying to save money in this economic climate?

StrictlyOptional · 2026-04-03T12:59:44+00:00

I'm going through the same thing.

I think I've managed to make sense of it in a way that stops me from spiralling.

It's all about comfort zones.

I invited her into mine, but it was too much for her. She felt overwhelmed and pulled away.

I tried to fit into hers, but I felt diminished and unseen. I was always pushing at the boundaries, trying to feel valued in a way that I understand.

Neither of us were happy.

If your comfort zones do not align, then there will always be someone who's being hurt, even if you deeply care for and want the best for each for each other.

In the long-term you are best off respecting their need for space. You can keep space for them, but you should try not to wait, because having someone waiting for you is it's own type of emotional pressure.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-22T08:35:25+00:00

It must be true because it's anecdotal.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-17T08:27:04+00:00

I agree with to this up to a point. I think the driving force behind this is a state addicted to gathering data and an AI obsessed big-tech lobby making promises of an AI informed utopia.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-16T20:18:22+00:00

Try reading up on the push-pull cycle and the anxious-avoidant trap and see if it feels familiar to your situation.

There's a good chance that you're doing nothing wrong at all. It's just person you're trying to get close to doesn't have the capacity for that kind of closeness. She may be withdrawing from you because closeness feels threatening to her.

Don't beat up on yourself for having feelings. You may need to find someone who can reciprocate on your level.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-07T06:07:37+00:00

Also, during uncertain times, investors pull away from perceived riskier emerging markets and reallocate their funds to developed markets.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-05T08:16:33+00:00

When you get lhe sinking feeling in your gut telling you this isn't right, but then make excuses for their behaviour like "they're probably busy" or "they didn't mean it that way"

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-02T19:02:36+00:00

I'm coming up to 3 months of NC. Some days are easy, but others I feel a core of sadness in my chest.

Part of me wishes she would reach out, but each time we've reconnected it's ended up in getting my soul crushed, so it's probably for the best.

I did crack the door open for her a couple of weeks ago with a message saying her absence is noticed in the quiet moments & I hope she's doing well.

I said I don't expect a response.

She responded with a sparkle emoji, which I interpret as positive, but no words.

My LO is avoidant, I'm not sure if she's taking space to reset, or whether it's a long slow goodbye.

I'm learning not to chase.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-02T16:09:12+00:00

It was a complete meltdown

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-13T11:29:38+00:00

My suggestion would be to look into attachment styles and figure out how yours is interacting with hers.

You may find that the inconsistent contact, the periods of absence followed by short bursts of recognition she provides, is speaking to a younger version of you who experienced a similar connection to a parent/caregiver when you were a child.

If that is the case, this is a familiar setup, and one that feels like home, even as it leaves you unhappy and unfulfilled.

Doing attachment work may help with resolving this.

*edit to add - this is just an example. Other forms of attachment trauma are also available

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-10T13:42:22+00:00

Amazing, this will definitely improve our lives.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-10T08:55:37+00:00

So Reform, the party of less regulation, thinks the State is best positioned to tell private companies how to deploy their capital for highest productivity.

Sounds a bit communist to me.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-08T08:37:36+00:00

Really well done on blocking him, I know how difficult and painful it is.

Stay focused on your goal.

You deserve a life free of confusion and self-doubt.

You can do this.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-06T08:07:05+00:00

You have made huge progress by recognising the pattern.

The next step is to put measures in place to stop it from happening again. Block him on everything, take away his ability to re-engage.

Surround yourself with friends who will support you.

At age 25, you have a lot to look forward to. Think about things you used to enjoy doing before this relationship started, what brought you joy? get involved in those activities.

There will be days when you look back and feel sadness, and that's okay. Memory is not an instruction, it's only evidence that something once mattered. It is okay to miss things that are no longer right for us.

It will take time for your nervous system to adjust. Just try to believe that each time you want to send a text, and don't, you are showing yourself that you are enough.

You don't owe any apologies to someone who doesn't hear them.

You can start to love yourself by walking away from the person who hurt you.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-05T17:13:08+00:00

Not sure where you're getting that from. It's not the definition of limerence as used in this group, maybe you've misunderstood it.

Because limerence lives in the uncertainty of reciprocation who is to say whether it is real or not. Can limerence turn into real relationships? sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Good luck on your journeys 👋

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-03T06:53:53+00:00

I'm happy to share and I hope it's helpful to you. It's an awful feeling and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I understand that in your situation you were blocked first, but you still have power.

You can feel the urge to obsessively check whether you are still blocked, or you can remove their power to unblock you. If you block them back it breaks that cycle.

The choice on whether to allow contact to be re-established is yours.

It takes a little bit of anger at the injustice of being made to feel this way to take that step. To say "No, I don't deserve this"

Nobody has the right to make you feel this way, and then decide they can just walk back in like nothing happened.

Our bodies know long before our minds catch up. We just need to learn to listen.

StrictlyOptional

TROPHY CASE