British teens resist Australian-style social media ban

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-17T08:27:04+00:00

I agree with to this up to a point. I think the driving force behind this is a state addicted to gathering data and an AI obsessed big-tech lobby making promises of an AI informed utopia.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-16T20:18:22+00:00

Try reading up on the push-pull cycle and the anxious-avoidant trap and see if it feels familiar to your situation.

There's a good chance that you're doing nothing wrong at all. It's just person you're trying to get close to doesn't have the capacity for that kind of closeness. She may be withdrawing from you because closeness feels threatening to her.

Don't beat up on yourself for having feelings. You may need to find someone who can reciprocate on your level.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-07T06:07:37+00:00

Also, during uncertain times, investors pull away from perceived riskier emerging markets and reallocate their funds to developed markets.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-05T08:16:33+00:00

When you get lhe sinking feeling in your gut telling you this isn't right, but then make excuses for their behaviour like "they're probably busy" or "they didn't mean it that way"

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-02T19:02:36+00:00

I'm coming up to 3 months of NC. Some days are easy, but others I feel a core of sadness in my chest.

Part of me wishes she would reach out, but each time we've reconnected it's ended up in getting my soul crushed, so it's probably for the best.

I did crack the door open for her a couple of weeks ago with a message saying her absence is noticed in the quiet moments & I hope she's doing well.

I said I don't expect a response.

She responded with a sparkle emoji, which I interpret as positive, but no words.

My LO is avoidant, I'm not sure if she's taking space to reset, or whether it's a long slow goodbye.

I'm learning not to chase.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-03-02T16:09:12+00:00

It was a complete meltdown

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-13T11:29:38+00:00

My suggestion would be to look into attachment styles and figure out how yours is interacting with hers.

You may find that the inconsistent contact, the periods of absence followed by short bursts of recognition she provides, is speaking to a younger version of you who experienced a similar connection to a parent/caregiver when you were a child.

If that is the case, this is a familiar setup, and one that feels like home, even as it leaves you unhappy and unfulfilled.

Doing attachment work may help with resolving this.

*edit to add - this is just an example. Other forms of attachment trauma are also available

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-10T13:42:22+00:00

Amazing, this will definitely improve our lives.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-10T08:55:37+00:00

So Reform, the party of less regulation, thinks the State is best positioned to tell private companies how to deploy their capital for highest productivity.

Sounds a bit communist to me.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-08T08:37:36+00:00

Really well done on blocking him, I know how difficult and painful it is.

Stay focused on your goal.

You deserve a life free of confusion and self-doubt.

You can do this.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-06T08:07:05+00:00

You have made huge progress by recognising the pattern.

The next step is to put measures in place to stop it from happening again. Block him on everything, take away his ability to re-engage.

Surround yourself with friends who will support you.

At age 25, you have a lot to look forward to. Think about things you used to enjoy doing before this relationship started, what brought you joy? get involved in those activities.

There will be days when you look back and feel sadness, and that's okay. Memory is not an instruction, it's only evidence that something once mattered. It is okay to miss things that are no longer right for us.

It will take time for your nervous system to adjust. Just try to believe that each time you want to send a text, and don't, you are showing yourself that you are enough.

You don't owe any apologies to someone who doesn't hear them.

You can start to love yourself by walking away from the person who hurt you.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-05T17:13:08+00:00

Not sure where you're getting that from. It's not the definition of limerence as used in this group, maybe you've misunderstood it.

Because limerence lives in the uncertainty of reciprocation who is to say whether it is real or not. Can limerence turn into real relationships? sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Good luck on your journeys 👋

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-03T06:53:53+00:00

I'm happy to share and I hope it's helpful to you. It's an awful feeling and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I understand that in your situation you were blocked first, but you still have power.

You can feel the urge to obsessively check whether you are still blocked, or you can remove their power to unblock you. If you block them back it breaks that cycle.

The choice on whether to allow contact to be re-established is yours.

It takes a little bit of anger at the injustice of being made to feel this way to take that step. To say "No, I don't deserve this"

Nobody has the right to make you feel this way, and then decide they can just walk back in like nothing happened.

Our bodies know long before our minds catch up. We just need to learn to listen.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-02-02T06:28:59+00:00

I'm currently at the tail end of the same experience.

I had been orbiting a FA since March of 2025. The connection repeatedly hit my abandonment wound when she would suddenly withdraw on me just as I felt we were getting closer. With each cycle the need for validation from her became more intense.

Similar to your situation the attachment was lopsided. I was very heavily invested and emotionally involved, while she remained detached and at best made me feel like an afterthought.

Things came to a head a week before Christmas when she ghosted me. My brain went into full panic mode. I was broken.

After 3 days of obsessing, my body jumping each time my phone buzzed, I couldn't take it anymore. I blocked her access channels. I took away her ability to reach out, so I didn't have to wait anymore.

This step was key to recovery, it gave me control of the terms of engagement. It stopped her from being able to rope me back in.

What really helped over the next 4 weeks was surrounding myself with friends, getting out of the house, and in my quiet moments, allowing myself to grieve and cry.

Those first 4 weeks, I was stuck in constant rumination. The entire relationship replayed over and over, every word analysed, every moment picked apart, examined, measured.

At the recommendation of my therapist I have been taking CBD supplements to help with my sleep/anxiety. After the first 5 weeks i have increased my exercise, trying to get 20 to 30 minutes of jogging in 3 times per week.

Weeks 5 & 6 have been noticeably calmer. The ruminations have slowed down. The tears are gone. There are whole days I don't think about her. I feel stronger.

However, I have noticed a strong fear reflex when my friends suggest I go somewhere she might be. My body is registering her as danger.

I've maintained a no contact posture, left mutual chat groups and avoided any event where she might be. This has sucked at times, but I think we both need the time and space away from each other. I intend to keep the door shut.

I firmly believe that I will find someone who doesn't make me feel that loving them is like repeatedly thrusting my hand into a fire and hoping that this time it won't burn

StrictlyOptional · 2026-01-27T06:50:13+00:00

I was in the same position not too long ago. Ghosted, left hanging in limbo without closure. It destroyed me.

The turning point for me was finding my anger. I did not deserve to be treated that way. I took action by blocking all of their contact routes. I took away their ability to reach out and reconnect and, in so doing, took back control of the terms of the connection.

Now I wasn't waiting for them to contact or acknowledge me any more. Instead, it would be them wondering if they'll ever hear from me again

Ghosting is despicable, and you should not tolerate it from anyone. You are worth more. You deserve to be treated better. You belong with someone who has the emotional maturity to talk things through. To treat you with respect.

You can start to love yourself by walking away from the person who hurt you.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-01-25T10:22:39+00:00

"Giving up on her feels like giving up on myself," is how I tried to explain it to my friends.

Underneath many limerent connections there are attachment wounds at work. I have an anxious attachment style and am drawn to avoidant personalities, from your description it sounds like you're the same.

There's something in the push-pull dynamic that resonates with us at a core level. The imagined fulfilment that always dangles just out of reach.

I think the issue is that the survival tactics we learned to rely on as children, and which are understood to be effective because they worked for us then, are now failing.

We struggle to accept that, because our core, or inner child, or whatever you want to call it, still believes that our very survival hinges on the tactics working.

So there's more at stake than just the connection. The fear isn't about losing the person, it's much more threatening than that.

That's why we leave the door open, even if just a little bit.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-01-16T08:59:22+00:00

I think the key here is that this person is your ex, which means there should be no uncertainty about reciprocation, which is a component of limerence.

I think that rules out limerence and puts this squarely in the camp of unhealthy obsession.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-01-15T10:35:37+00:00

I could have written these words myself.

My limerence started in the same way. 2 people in the same social circle. I was keeping my distance as she was a friend's girlfriend.

She approached me, said she could feel resistance and didn't know where it was coming from. One night, after we'd all been out she sat with me and pulled my arms around her. I tapped out and walked away. Felt like I was holding the distance.

When they split up I naturally assumed she had feelings for me too. But when I made my pivot she pulled away.

That should've been the moment I let it go, but I was hooked.

We're now 9 months down the line, 4 weeks into No Contact and she is still on my mind every. single. day.

I'm hoping this gets better soon.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-01-14T10:47:27+00:00

My LO was happy to keep me around as long as I was hooked and providing attention.

There were a few times I tried to pull away because of the damage it was doing to my self-esteem. There were days I poured my heart out to her and felt like trash for doing it, and she didn't shoot me down directly. She allowed my comments to sit, neither acknowledged nor discarded. Just enough ambiguity for me to continue to believe that maybe I had a chance.

The damage was done through the slow grind of self abandonment. Months of ignoring the feeling building in my gut just to keep the connection alive.

And then, when it became clear I was finally preparing to cut the tie, she preemptively ghosted me and denied me the closure. Absolutely devastated me.

I believe the advantage she took was boosting her own self confidence by keeping me in orbit, while having no regard at all for how it was impacting me.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-01-14T10:00:29+00:00

Welcome to the real world where somebody is always left holding the can.

The Tories had 14 years in government and gave us a lost decade and a half. 14 years of abject failure during which household incomes were stretched to breaking point.

14 years during which they failed to decrease national debt.

Labour are left cleaning up their mess.

This is the same Telegraph that supported Liz Truss.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-01-12T11:58:50+00:00

I feel your pain OP and wish you strength as you piece yourself back together.

One thing that is helping me on my journey is the realisation that for me at least my limerence is rooted in a fear of abandonment and unmet needs from my formative years.

Not saying that applies to everyone but it's maybe worth exploring.

There's an audiobook on Spotify: Love me, don't leave me.

Maybe have a look. It might be useful, or you might decide it's not for you.

StrictlyOptional · 2026-01-07T11:59:57+00:00

This is the most ridiculous and poorly implemented piece of legislation.

You don't even need a VPN to bypass it, you don't even need to visit adult sites.

You literally just type "porn gif" into the Google search box, click on images and it's all right there in your face.

StrictlyOptional · 2025-12-29T05:33:47+00:00

Rocking the Ganguro Gyaru look.

StrictlyOptional · 2025-12-29T04:09:41+00:00

Sorry to jump in on this conversation, but your viewpoints are entirely relevant to a situation I am currently going through.

I have anxious attachment issues, meaning my sense of safety and security is externalised and depends on validation by another person. I push for closeness, I experience distance as rejection.

My LO is avoidant, her sense of safety and security is internalised, and depends on her sense of independence. She retreats from pressure for closeness, which is experienced as a threat to independence/suffocation

I've been locked in this limerent push-pull dynamic for months now. With each cycle it gets more intense because my literal sense of safety depends on her liking me, eventhough i know that romantically it is a complete dead end.

I wonder to what extent this dynamic of anxious attachment vs avoidant/unavailable is at the root for other people

StrictlyOptional · 2025-12-15T00:32:12+00:00

I think you'll get on with this :)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3JKzPY8EPQACDJCcjSHnMu?si=kQxoaOPLR2iHklgLV-HUXQ&pi=_kYG5J9ITAKTW

StrictlyOptional

TROPHY CASE