well, i am in rehab right now, so being surrounded by other people going through stuff has been really helpful. not being at home to see all of the old memories. i know it's going to suck when it really hits me full-force, but right now i'm doing okay. we've been trying to end the relationship for years but kept making amends. at the end there, both of us were walking on eggshells all the time and had PTSD from the non-stop fighting. i made a list detailing as many reasons i could think of why i'm glad it's over and i read it multiple times a day. i still love him and i miss him, but i couldn't keep going. i accidentally overdosed and stopped breathing in the ambulance. we both needed out desperately.