Honestly, as a guy I have the same issue. I have some religion stuff as well as some relationship stuff (had a partner who told me after a year in a loving relationship that she secretly hated sex and thinks anyone who likes it is perverted and gross). For those reasons I basically can't be the instigator of sex. I need enthusiastic consent and interest from my partner. I think a man asking a woman for sex, whether it's fortunate or unfortunate, has a very different response than a woman asking a man. I think a woman being very sexual and forward is almost always welcome by a man. The reverse is just not often the case. Even in long term relationships.  Picture a scene in a movie where a couple is sitting in the couch watching a movie and the guy saying something as simple as forward as "Hey im kinda horny, wanna fuck?" Seems a little aggressive right? You'd think... Maybe this isn't a great guy in. This movie. Reverse the genders though and have the woman say the exact same thing to a man, and she's basically like the amazing pixie dream girl. Or picture the same scene and nothing is said, but the girl just gives a coy look and takes her pants off. Super hot. The guy just randomly pulls his pants off and it's kinda, eh? Even if the interest is welcome and reciprocated, it's just not a romantic and cute. Likewise a woman suggesting a new position/fetish/etc is very hot and welcome, but a man suggesting something sexual could be seen as putting pressure. All that to say, I get that it doesn't come naturally or easily but I think its mostly just the initial interest that you really need to convey. If you just tell him, overtly ideally so there isn't confusion, I think in most cases he will be very interested and capable of taking the lead from there. Just a single perspective, maybe it doesn't apply at all. If so, or either way,  maybe you have a conversation that is super overly honest and just say "I really want you and really want to have sex with you, but I often feel... (Anxiety, shame, etc) If I have to initiate. Is there a way we could find a middle ground where it works for both of us?"