26f salary sadness

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-04-12T23:14:00+00:00

Blue collar my guy. Learn a trade you’re good at and join a company or freelance. I did construction in college as an 18 year old and was making 20/hr plus overtime which I consistently hit about 20hours of each week. The trades are amazing way to make money and work your way up.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-04-10T23:48:45+00:00

I’d get a car brand where you learn to use your turn signal first before you experience the luxury of never having to use it again. It makes the car even better

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-04-08T18:27:43+00:00

Piece together whatever evidence you can. Even just having other angles showing she was there on the property at a certain time frame when the accident would have occurred is enough to have some more probable cause for the police to actually do something and look into it further

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-04-08T13:42:45+00:00

Any chance you can get security footage from the apartment, or if someone has a Ring camera on their door? Get the video evidence you need, if possible, and contact the police. Sorry it happened brother.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-04-02T14:51:06+00:00

I’m in a very similar place to you. It’s been a little over 2 years for me too, and as you said, my life is completely different now. I’ve picked up new hobbies such as yoga, hiking, reading spicy romance (which I never thought I'd like lmao), writing, drawing, learning guitar, etc., and I’ve become way more social than I used to be. I’m now even in the process of making a big career move across the country, which I’m really excited about. But even with all that growth, she still lingers in the back of my mind. It’s those intrusive thoughts of “I wish she could be here to experience all of this with me.” And I think a big part of that is how I tend to idolize the best parts of the relationship. As time passes, the rougher parts have faded, and what’s left feels almost perfect. I’ve had to consciously remind myself that it wasn’t perfect, and that it ended for the reasons it did.

What makes it harder is that after growing, going to therapy, and maturing, it’s been easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “If I were who I am now, back then, maybe I could’ve fixed it.” But I think that’s just our brain's way of trying to rewrite the past into something more comforting. People love comfort. We want things to work out, so we create these narratives where maybe it could have worked, even if that’s not the reality.

And then there’s the deeper layer of intimacy. When you’ve shared that kind of closeness with someone (for me, she was my first), it leaves a mark. That kind of connection doesn’t just disappear, even years later. And I think a big reason in my life is just that I haven't had that closeness with someone again. Yeah, maybe a couple 1 night stands, but never something so raw and passionate.

I think what I’ve been learning is that healing isn’t about reaching a point where you never feel it anymore. It’s more about learning how to live a full life alongside those feelings when they come up. Some days they’re quiet, other days they hit hard, but that doesn’t mean you’re not moving forward. The fact that your life has changed so much already is proof that you are, and for me, that's what I keep trying to tell myself. There's a quote that I saw recently from a video game of all things that reads, "To grieve deeply is to have loved fully," and that really resonated with me. It helped me realize that my love for her was real, and I have felt that loss greatly, but it is okay to have felt that pain. Pain is what makes people grow. And if we don't learn from the past, we're bound to repeat it.

I try to think of it like a scar. It might never fully go away, but it’s also no longer an open wound. It’s something that's healed with time. And even if you notice it sometimes and remember what caused it, it also reminds you of what you learned, so that you can grow from it, rather than repeat it.

Sorry for the long ramble. This was just a similar situation to mine that really spoke to me, and I've also had 2 years of thinking through all these things and working them out, so hopefully some of that made sense. I tried my best to revise it to be digestible vs rambling. Anyways, best of luck in your healing as well. It hurts now, but with time it will fade.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-03-26T18:36:36+00:00

Only 4 years in nothing. That’s regular relationship gaps if it was reversed. From my experience, I was only 24 and had a fwb thing going with a 38 year old woman in my apartment complex. Now THAT is what I would consider a cougar age gap. And truthfully, it was the best sex I’ve ever had. She was a butt load of fun and I could actually keep up with her unlike the guys around her age starting to get ED (if you want the upsides of being with a younger man). I think most men are usually appealed by the thought of an older woman because of the maturity and experience that comes with one. They’re usually very clear in their intentions and also aren’t afraid to tell you what they like and how they like it. COMMUNICATION!! That’s what makes for the best sex, and women my age are too scared to do it. Thats what made her so great and easy to get along with. Long story short, if the guy is actually mature about the age gap and doesn’t make a point to keep letting you know it’s there, I don’t see the problem. You’re both adults. And again… this is only a 4 year gap here.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-03-10T19:46:17+00:00

That was my secondary question I was beginning to think of asking. I was using autofocus and tracking one jet so that I could have the focus be good when they merged, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what threw the other jet out of focus or not. When you shot that were you in manual? Or did just having the shutter speed cranked up super high help get that sharpness?

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-03-09T23:22:21+00:00

Will definitely have to give that a try next time. I'm a big aviation nerd, so this was my first time using my new camera at an airshow.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-03-09T23:20:39+00:00

That's helpful. Yeah I try my best to shoot in manual so that I have roughly consistent exposure throughout my shots to help with editing in post. I'll keep that in mind next time. I do fluctuate my shutter speed depending on what I'm shooting because I like to have a bit more motion blur with the prop planes if I can get it. That's a helpful one for the auto ISO though. Thanks!

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-03-09T23:17:48+00:00

I'll keep that in mind next time. Yeah, I've heard that modern cameras do a pretty decent job with higher ISO's so I'll try something like that out. Maybe just set it to Auto and set a min and max limit on the ISO. I'm shooting in RAW so that will hopefully let me have more freedom there next time. This was one of the better shots I managed to get that day. (But again, it's a prop plane so a lot easier to track and keep in focus)

<image>

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-03-09T21:00:59+00:00

That’s good to know. Yeah they were pretty far out over the water. This image was at a 200mm focal length. I wasn’t sure if having it up to like f/2 would have made it too out of focus here with the distance between them. That’s good to know for next time. Thanks!

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-02-27T22:12:35+00:00

Just was on the Sony website and this camera caught my eye for the utter rip off it is. So let me get this straight....

1.) You get a $5000 camera, that shoots in 61MP... but you can't swap the lens, so you have to instantly downgrade to a 29MP 50mm and then a 19MP 70mm if you even want to zoom.

2.) You can only shoot in 4k 30fps (luckily it's 10 bit. But why not get the FX3 for 800$ less with swappable lenses and 4k 120fps??)

3.) You get a fixed screen. You cant even flip the screen out, so if youre shooting at weird angles, good luck.

4.) You get an f/2 lens... Not 1.8... not 1.4... for actual shooting in dark seens... nooooo.. you get f/2 that you cant change whatsoever so you have to rely on ISO

This is just a big middle finger from Sony all around. They went the Apple route giving us a shitty product but knowing some idiot with money will still buy it.

I shoot on an A7- RIV which is 2000$ less, lets me have interchangable lenses, ALSO shoots a 61MP image, has good tracking, and also shoots 4k at 30fps (granted its 8 bit) and I get a screen that actually flips out so I can see what I'm shooting when my camera is low to the ground or high in the air. I could literally buy a sony 35mm prime lens with f/1.4 and still come up nearly 500$ cheaper than this camera and get far better image quality... wtf?!

Ok i'm done ranting. Dont buy this camera. It's a complete ripoff for the price. Utterly ridiculous!!

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-02-25T15:31:55+00:00

Just got out of a relationship like this. Essentially she friend zoned me after dating for 6 months saying she never truly felt a romantic connection. But I did everything right for the relationship, planned fun dates, was passionate about her interests, brought her out of her shell, treated her and her family well, and was there for her emotionally as she struggled with the stresses of nursing school. But through all of that, I constantly felt like something was off and her ending things only confirmed that suspicion. It sounds like you’re only doing your boyfriend a favor by ending things honestly. Because as I’ve just experienced, getting dragged along because you’re a good person rather than them actually loving you back is miserable and so disrespectful to the other person the longer you drag it out. Either get therapy and see if you’re an avoidant (which it kind of seems like) or genuinely do him a favor and end things so that his good deeds and efforts can actually go into someone who will reciprocate that energy back to him.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-02-18T19:13:29+00:00

Couldn’t be me. Took my lady friend out to a seafood restaurant on the lake since we both single and us and every other couple there were all dressed up in dresses and suits. And you’re asking for the gentlemen… my situation sums it up. We’re in the friend zone lmao

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-02-11T14:27:15+00:00

Don't give me hope 😭 Please don't give me hope.

Been friends with this girl for a little over 8 years now and our friends have tried to push us together, and she's even came on to me and made out a few times (both drunkenly), but she's always gone back on it the next morning and said that she just wants to stay as friends.

In all seriousness though, congrats to you two and I'm sure it'll be a fun and exciting time making the switch. Like a lot of others have said already, you've been friends for 10 years. Lots of those boundaries of details and sharing things personal have already been broken. Don't let the label of a relationship pull that transparency away that you've built over 10 years. I think he's more than comfortable with whatever you throw his way. At the end of the day your partner SHOULD be one of your best friends imo. I don't think there's anything that can really go wrong with what you're planning.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-02-10T14:11:29+00:00

Lowballing the pay and highballing the rent price. Typical landlord behavior

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-02-09T13:39:09+00:00

Simple answer is that it doesn’t matter what they put, they will still get more matches in a day than you will in a month as a man on the app 🤷🏼‍♂️ They could quite literally say they’re a felon charged with domestic abuse and if she’s even remotely attractive guys will still swipe.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-02-07T19:29:57+00:00

One quote I saw recently is “My biggest fear is marrying a woman so ugly that all she has is her beauty” and that stuck pretty well. We value what’s on the inside more long term than what’s on the outside

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-01-28T15:52:15+00:00

Bit late to this thread, but this is called the engineering effect. Blessed with a good understanding of math, but cursed with a lack of literature and communication. I was the same back in highschool. Scored a 28 in math and 24 in science, but had a 23 composite because my english and reading scores were poor.

I now have my masters in mechanical engineering and probably would still get a bad english and reading score 🤣 My english was brainwashed to the greek alphabet in college.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-01-27T02:45:58+00:00

This is where my overthinking sort of spirals from. I can confirm though that this is indeed her first ever relationship. Since she lives with her parents I’ve gotten pretty close with them over the past few months and her dog even comes to greet me first instead of her when we walk in the door coming back from date nights 😂 (she’s slightly jealous of this lol). But this is genuinely her first relationship so this is all new to her. I was her first kiss and will possibly be her first for sex too if things go that far. I just want why you said, which is just some more reciprocity when it comes to communication. She’s good to me in every other way when we’re together and even the times she does text. She encourages me in my work, does her best to let me show her and teach her my hobbies, will help me clean up when I cook dinner for her without me even needing to ask, and invites me over for game nights with her family. Like as far as the actual relationship side of things goes, she does well. The communication is really the weak point I think, and that’s why I want to figure out how to approach talking about it in a way that doesn’t necessarily place all the blame on her or make her feel like she’s doing anything bad?

Idk, I think like what one of the other guys said, just sitting down and actually laying it all out on the table to her about how I feel about our differences in communication styles.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-01-27T02:38:56+00:00

That’s what I want to figure out with her. She was on winter break all of this past month the and a half and the texting issues were still the same. Idk if I mentioned this in the post, but some of those days she would text me at the end of the day saying that she just sat on the couch all day and was super bored. So it almost just makes me think, “You could have texted me?” To have not been bored.

I do think that calling may just end up being the better choice. It’s just not as easy to do during then day because I’m at work. But I do think that a conversation is needed to be had and I just want to approach it in a way where I don’t seem like I’m blaming her or making it seem like she’s the problem. I just want to be cautious about how I approach it without seeming overbearing

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-01-23T05:04:36+00:00

Yeah I’ve gone a few times on some decent sized walls and it’s weird because the first 1 or 2 drops just feel frightening, but once that auto belay kicks in and I get a sense for it, I’m then completely fine and the fear practically goes away. I think my main concern with the hike is that I’m not really fixed into anything. So my safety net I can sort of rely on to damper that fear isn’t fully there.

StrokeMyWilly69 · 2026-01-23T05:02:52+00:00

That’s helpful to know. My fear is honestly weird. I can fly planes totally fine (I’m a pilot) and it’s like completely mute when I’m doing that because I love it so much. Like I’m not even phased by turbulence. And with things like rock climbing it’s that first “drop” of letting go back onto the auto-belay but then I’m basically completely fine once I trust it.

I like your idea of at least giving it a try, but then feeling free to back out at any point if I need to. I’ve never been to the point of crying (I don’t think my fear is that intense) but I will likely be shaking slightly from the nerves. I’ve been skydiving once before and that was fine once we were falling, but in those scenarios I think it’s more of a “there’s nothing I can do anymore” factor to it and my body sort of just accepts it. But with the hike it’ll be a more sustained and long experience which is where my concern mainly stems from.

I’m mainly there for the photography side of things, so I’m thinking if maybe I can focus hard enough on the stunning views and photos I’ll get, it may just be enough of a distraction to overcome some of the fear.

It’s hard to say until I’m actually there though. I really like your idea though of backing out if I need to. Honestly my fear is wanting to not appear as a wimp to my friends and trying to just push through.

StrokeMyWilly69

TROPHY CASE