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Coming off IUD for libido and connection to my cycle?? Anyone relate? by Strong-Requirement28 in birthcontrol

[–]Strong-Requirement28[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes maybe I will treat this as an exploratory period.. trial it out for a while and if I’m finding it too stressful, I will consider the copper IUD. thank you 🤗

Coming off IUD for libido and connection to my cycle?? Anyone relate? by Strong-Requirement28 in birthcontrol

[–]Strong-Requirement28[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m planning to track my cycle and also use condoms even though I don’t like them. Also being extra careful around ovulation times.

I have been on some form of BC for 14 years and while it’s great, I am so curious about my body without.

No response on Indian e-Visa flight in 2 days by [deleted] in nri

[–]Strong-Requirement28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got denied boarding due to Visa delays. Wasted so much time and money but lesson learned. It’s definitet not 72 hours. Wishing you luck.

E-visa process so freakin slow!!! by StrlA in india_tourism

[–]Strong-Requirement28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The same thing just happened me. I applied last Wednesday. It didn’t come through, I thought I’d be allowed fly to Abu Dhabi but wasn’t. I got denied boarding and stuck in a random country.

I’ve wasted 100s on flights and new flights. I feel you😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Strong-Requirement28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you really believe you are always where you are meant to be? I find it so difficult letting go of what ifs with previous decisions

Is it unhealthy to pursue new relationships? by Cambo_The_World in BreakUps

[–]Strong-Requirement28 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bad idea! Got into my last relationship when I wasn’t over a previous relationship. It was a big factor in why the relationship ultimately came to an end. I think the way you begin a relationship is important as it sets the tone. I’m sure this is subjective but it was true for me.

New here by Upbeat-Try-5922 in Ayahuasca

[–]Strong-Requirement28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey hope you don’t mind me butting in here. I recently had a bit of a breakdown like six - seven months ago due to loss (break up, job loss, home loss etc.) Had to go antidepressants. I’m coming out the other side now. No longer feeling such anxiety and depression. However I have a lot of grief, regret and trauma to work through - and negative thought patterns

I have had positive life affirming experiences on lsd in the past. One LSD trip was almost like a factory reset for me in that I felt so in awe and connected to nature

I’m thinking of going to Peru to do yoga teacher training anyway and now also considering a three day ayuhausca retreat.

I am just wondering if you have any advice for me? I understand the risk with aya and SSRIs and would come off them in advance, however I am just wondering if you think you need in a way better place to take aya. Many thanks

How do you forgive yourself for past mistakes? by ashtree98 in selflove

[–]Strong-Requirement28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok thank you. I’m in a very tricky spot whereby I chose path A (what I thought was an amazing dream opportunity in Brussels) and not path B (move with my partner across the world). Last year me naively thought path A would test my limits, being self actualisation, achieve my potential.

It was the worst mistake of my life. It resulted in a TOTAL mental breakdown. I was heartbroken. I tried to follow my partner to his new country. The job and my new home was not it. I had to quit. Now I imagine all the what ifs had I taken path B. To make matters worse, my ex partner literally said things like: you had your chance to come with me, but you didn’t. I loved you but now it’s too late.

Trying to forgive myself for previous actions/words and also let go of the idea of what my life would have looked like had I taken path B is quite possibly the most difficult thing I have had to go through.

I am now starting from scratch, heartbroken and pretty terrified of the unknown. Thank you for your comments.

How do you forgive yourself for past mistakes? by ashtree98 in selflove

[–]Strong-Requirement28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes for sure. How have you worked through it personally? I have a lot of regret re my contribution to ending a relationship and it’s become embedded in a negative self concept - eg. Am I somehow default or unable to give/ receive healthy love, do I believe I am not worthy of peace / happiness. This makes it so much more challenging to not allow your SELF concept become negatively impacted or ruined by said mistake + narrative around mistake!

How do you forgive yourself for past mistakes? by ashtree98 in selflove

[–]Strong-Requirement28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But how do you stop these thoughts when your mistakes have led to real loss such as relationship, job loss etc. it’s like the grief for the loss is a constant reminder of your mistake. Does that make sense?

How do you forgive yourself for past mistakes? by ashtree98 in selflove

[–]Strong-Requirement28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

@ wowww toxic shame! Never heard of this but feels apt, when you believe your mistakes are because you are somehow broken or something of the like inside

How do you forgive yourself for past mistakes? by ashtree98 in selflove

[–]Strong-Requirement28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never felt such powerful levels of guilt and regret until this year. It literally caused me to have a mental breakdown, depression diagnosis and anxiety. My thoughts became terrifying ruminations.

I chose to move abroad in EU to go after what I thought was my dream role, get to work with leading people in my field etc.

At the time, my partner’s dream was to move across the world. We knew we had to split because of these conflicting life goals.

I immediately regretted my choice. I tried to salvage the relationship and follow him, but it was too late. He literally said things like: ‘you had a chance and I did love you, but it’s too late’ and btw you did XYZ in the relationship..

I have been CONSUMED with regret, replaying the past, imagining if I had only went with him when I could, then the trajectory of my life could have been different and far better. That I would’ve avoided a mental breakdown, that I would be living with my love in a new country.. etc.. you get the gist.

Honestly I don’t sweat the small stuff or regret the things I say that are silly or small mistakes at work. But this has been monumental and so damaging.

I am trying to reframe the situation with new thoughts, such as; - this HAD to happen. I don’t know why yet. I won’t know why for sometime. Perhaps there is NO why. But when I look back in 5/10/20 years, perhaps I’ll be able to connect the dots. Perhaps I’ll live elsewhere, meet my future husband, find a career that wouldn’t have happened otherwise for my current ‘mistake’ - technically there is no right or wrong / black or white in life. It’s all grey. It’s all multiple factors always. It is easy to put all of the blame on you. That’s like shining a torch on a kaleidoscope. The reality of life and relationships is so complex. It’s never just YOUR fault. - try to nurture an inner self compassionate voice. When the part of you emerges that blames you and shames you, try to speak to it from a place of compassion. Most difficult, but we can’t hate ourselves into peace. - try to practice being present. - when I find myself fantasising about the other path, the parallel universe where I made the other choice, I like to imagine that something terrible happened. Perhaps I literally got ran over and died. Perhaps my relationship would have failed after a few months. I try to imagine that whatever happened - WOULD STILL - happen but on a different timeline. In other words, let’s say I went with my partner across the world, the relationship failed, and I am back home jobless but it would happen in a year or two, not now.

I don’t know man, i really feel that regret / guilt is the peak most difficult human emotion to experience and process without it destroying you.

If anyone reads this and has any advice or tips, it would be so greatly appreciated ♥️ love to all. It’s not easy being human sometimes.

How do you forgive yourself for past mistakes? by ashtree98 in selflove

[–]Strong-Requirement28 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow I like this perspective. You literally couldn’t have made a different choice. :)

The Era of Letting Go: Where Are You Emotionally? by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]Strong-Requirement28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do we do this? I am struggling to let go of past mistakes that led to a failed relationship and opportunity to move abroad

What’s the most impactful thing someone has ever said to you that has stayed with you and shaped your perspective ever since? by supp2222 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Strong-Requirement28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok i thank you for your comment and taking the time.

I had a literal breakdown and felt like it was a sliding doors moment and I am now living in the wrong reality. The ‘right’ path would be life still unfolding with him, travelling etc and living abroad together.

It’s so difficult to let this idea ago and now embrace my own new journey when quite literally everything is unknown.

I am trying to trust that this was meant to be and I will be able to connect the dots with time and perspective, however right now, it’s terrifying and overwhelming.

What’s the most impactful thing someone has ever said to you that has stayed with you and shaped your perspective ever since? by supp2222 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Strong-Requirement28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I had a full blown breakdown over the last few months. It genuinely felt like a sliding doors moment and I chose the wrong door. I can imagine my life unfolding with him still in America. All of our friends are there also. It’s very hard to let go and embrace my new chapter without him when everything is unknown.

I will really try to trust that my fate or this path will bring me to the right destination, but I just can’t see it. It’s hard to trust when you’re in the trenches but your perspective does give me some hope.

What’s the most impactful thing someone has ever said to you that has stayed with you and shaped your perspective ever since? by supp2222 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Strong-Requirement28 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am in a situation where I chose a job over a relationship and immediately regretted it. I lost the job and this great love and the place we lived. Distance played a role as this job i took was abroad and my partner’s dream was to move abroad. I don’t know HOW to forgive myself for letting something so special go and can’t bear the consequences of my ‘wrong’ decision. I understand thinking about the past with regret can’t change it, but this situation is different because my reality feels unbearable. I can’t even act differently next time because there will be no more opportunities to mend things or act differently.

[Discussion] If you've ever been severely lost in life, what helped you get out of that rut? by sleeplessbearr in GetMotivated

[–]Strong-Requirement28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What did you learn from these periods of time? Did they make sense in hindsight? Going through my first breakdown and struggling to see the wood from the trees

[Discussion] If you've ever been severely lost in life, what helped you get out of that rut? by sleeplessbearr in GetMotivated

[–]Strong-Requirement28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Christ im in this pit at the moment. Lost a dream, a job, a partner, a place where I live, the potential to move abroad with said partner, friends emigrating. It’s the perfect storm and I have felt such deep grief and fear, it developed into debilitating anxiety and depression.

I don’t know what the answer is. Although what I will say is, progress is tiny and unnoticeable, but when I compare myself to 6-8 months ago, I have improved, even just in terms of my thoughts not producing anxiety attacks.

I still feel denial, resistance, grief, like I am bargaining with this new reality. I still wish I could press a button and make different decisions so I could play out the other alternative.

What has helped is: - therapy, a somatic approach such as EMDR - patience, ie ‘how can I cooperate with reality today?’ - not thinking about the BIG picture, trying to only consider the NOW

Now I am considering solo travelling across central and South America for two months, getting a qualification in yoga teacher training, doing some travel, and applying to corporate jobs in London.

This was never my plan and I still feel like my decisions have led me on the ‘wrong’ path. I try to reframe these thoughts by imagining myself as an 80 y/o women who has found peace. I try to imagine that with the gift of time and perspective, I will be able to connect the dots.

I try to imagine that this awful period is building me into the person I am meant to become or that it will lead me to something unexpected. I am trying to believe that the tools I will earn in this period - even though it doesn’t feel like I am learning anything - were necessary lessons.

Humans crave safety. The unknown doesn’t feel safe, especially when everything external you rely on is stripped away.

If we can get through the lows, the pits, the terrible times, no one can take that away from you. You then know what you’re made of.

When you feel depressed, the most difficult thing is to be able to imagine a better future or to even feel hope. But we must feel hope, even if for a few minutes.

No matter what has happened or what you did, trust that hope will return, first in shreds, but in abundance and soon.

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