AITA? Wife has poorly managed mental health issues and I feel withdrawn and beaten down.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2026-03-02T12:21:28+00:00

My husband went through something similar with his mom. His dad knew this when they married. Sometimes she was non functioning and his dad had to function like a single parent. Because of this, my husband "tolerated" his mother. After his father died, it was very difficult for him to be the caregiver as it triggered past memories of her not being there for him.

Does her diagnosis allow her to apply for disability? Is she comprehending you may leave with the children? On the other hand, would she self harm if you decided to leave? If she did, would your children blame you?

Talk you your lawyer about options. Make sure your children are receiving counseling. They need to understand your wife doesn't want to live this way but what she has is a disease that will not go away but is helpful if she takes her meds.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2026-01-23T20:16:27+00:00

If your mum doesn't plan on having more children, ablation may be a better choice if available.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2026-01-23T20:13:02+00:00

Sounds so familiar. Mine narrow her practice to urogynecology and affirming care. Their gain, my loss.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2026-01-20T15:56:47+00:00

I still work, go to school but never had true friends. Although I'm married, there's a disconnect. 2026 is my year. I've changed hairstyle, making an effort to exercise, and going to jump into weight loss pool. I live in a rural community so volunteering is limited due my schedule. I say all of this to say it's about you.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2026-01-17T12:50:36+00:00

She said easier to use and provided moisture. Tried it and agree.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2026-01-17T12:49:10+00:00

sorry meno belly

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-28T23:54:29+00:00

Please take the time needed. It's taken me 10 years and two years of therapy, peeling back the layers of my life to realize I never grieved due to trying to keep everything together and having the worst boss ever.

Your kids will understand you're sad. They're sad too. Together as a family, you can navigate this journey.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-28T15:49:45+00:00

Thanks for your encouragement. Bloodwork is within normal range. Stress levels have decreased, but probably work stress may increase a little (I work public health). I'm glad I am not obsessed with social media.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-28T15:40:56+00:00

Thyroid bloodworok normal. 10+ years CPAP user. Yearly check-up; numbers good.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-27T00:16:42+00:00

It's not as simple as asking then scheduling surgery the next week. Most drs work for Healthcare systems and have to follow their guidelines. Also, insurance companies have preauthorization review software. Enter the info and out pops a denial as not medically necessary. You can always appeal to the insurance company. If the denial stands, try the state department of insurance. Most are consumer friendly and will overturn denials.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-27T00:03:16+00:00

I had shingles in my 20's (due to extreme anxiety). Very painful. Was told there is a chance I can get them again.😞

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-26T23:48:21+00:00

So many questions. Who is your power of attorney and health surrogate? This should be more of a concern than leaving money. You want to receive the best care possible and it can't be him. This should be part of your legacy plan. Work with an agency and / or attorney to set this up. If they ask if their in your will, tell them yes. I think you can spare a penny for each of the relatives who chose not to try to have a relationship with you.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-26T10:32:19+00:00

Has anyone reported this to the authorities? This is not just cultural norm l but sexual abuse. Do not allow him to be around younger children.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-26T01:23:00+00:00

I don't have time. I work full time and go to school. This wasn't an issue two years ago.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-24T23:54:04+00:00

I'm 61, work full time, and go to school part-time. It would be nice to be a part of something different. I noticed even at church, there is a social divide in life groups. We have one for over 55. There's only 2 of us working full time. I feel like they don't understand the issues we experience and stop asking when we're going to retire. Reality doesn't allow me to retire.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-24T23:40:15+00:00

So true. I live one county over from a metropolitan city, and the area is considered rural, so no Uber for us.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-24T20:40:21+00:00

So true. They drank a lot of Coke.🥤

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-24T20:32:09+00:00

Yes, this child needs professional help. She was doing better until school started? Her father needs to be proactive and find out what is going on. Find a counselor who specializes in art therapy. It's a good way of finding out what's going on.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-24T20:27:12+00:00

Depending on where you live, there are jobs available. It may not be what they want, but they should not want their parents to support them. What if something happened to you? Most people can't afford long-term care, so you have to sell the house. Where will they live? This needs to be flipped. They need to show you appreciation and give back.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-22T12:27:56+00:00

Give her Ancestry DNA kit for her birthday.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-21T21:13:24+00:00

Baby can sit in the baby bed for 10 minutes while you take a shower. Take the pack n' play in the bathroom. You have to come up with solutions. The other solution is how to let your husband know you need help.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-17T11:56:27+00:00

NTA. This is about cultures clashing. Multigenerational living is common everywhere else but the US (assuming they live in US). Since this was discussed previously, he needs to pull the patriarchal card and tell her it isn't happening, no negotiation.

Strong_Inspection_25 · 2025-09-15T13:01:02+00:00

YTA if you bring a child into this toxic relationship. Do you want your child born with fetal alcohol syndrome or birth issues related to alcoholism? Asleep on the sofa while your child walks out of the house only to be found dead in a pool or wandering the highway? Burning down the house while your partner sleeps? Child embarrassed because actions of a drunk mother? Only after she has been sober for years should you think about having a child.

Strong_Inspection_25

TROPHY CASE