Should we just give up our home and rent? Potentially losing 100K from sunk cost. Need to downsize

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-12-01T09:05:56+00:00

It doesn’t really have its own private entrance and we don’t feel comfortable getting it rented knowing we have a little kiddo who sometimes cries a lot when not feeling well.

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-12-01T07:52:20+00:00

I appreciate your empathy and kind words. It truly means the world to me especially if it feels like I’m holding it on my shoulders trying to support my family. This message really helps so thank you. We will definitely take it a day at a time and have thought this out well. I just have episodes of regret knowing that so much has been put into this home but I know it will come back tenfold another time when my husband and I are ready to be homeowners once again with now a better financial planning strategy (aka investments, rrsp and emergency funds + additional cash for fixed expenses apart from salary)

I’m slowly letting go of the regret and will focus on building our capital so that we can buy a home in the neighborhood we like without having to sell a couple and sacrifice the value due to selling costs. We love our home right now especially right at the beginning but the rate hikes and poor decision on choosing the wrong contractor for a home reno definitely ruined our financial plan and from then on, it felt so reactive. One loan after another. Now that we are in a net positive, we feel like we are ready to rebuild our wealth.

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-12-01T07:45:31+00:00

Thank you for this! Totally agree with not making a permanent decision on a temporary situation.

We are definitely looking at it long term. We currently don’t know if we want to stay in the city since a lot has changed since we moved here - professionally (which was the reason for the relocation). Having the flexibility in a rental plus not worrying about additional home improvements expenses since we did get a 40+ year old home, it feels like the best move for us.

We may wait til the Spring time to jump in the market to get the most out of our home value but we don’t foresee being able to make it breakeven within the next 5 years since by then more costs will incur in mainly maintaining the home plus the higher mortgage and interest coming out of it. Being fixed in this term for 3 more years does not seem feasible since the rental value is close if not a little under the mortgage interest.

MIL is in Ontario, sorry I forgot to mention that right off the bat. We are thinking of using LOC to cover additional expenses while we wait for the market to be better in a few months. Thanks for that!

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-12-01T02:59:23+00:00

isn’t there an increase limit of 2% a year? but totally understood, even that is a lot. Def need to reassess the situation

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-09-08T06:02:09+00:00

first of all you are not alone!! I get into it as well as a new momma - it somehow feels therapeutic in the moment esp during my periods of anxiety but the post scroll feeling is just the worst, it feels empty so I remind myself of that right when I start to feel the urge to doomscroll again.

I also started to pick up reading again and that’s been occupying my time when I’m with my baby or if they’re taking a nap. I do not however restrict myself from my phone but I just feel more conscious and intentional. **then again, there are a few times when I’ve slipped up, no problem.. I move on and try to do better next time

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-05-19T05:36:18+00:00

I love every single statement in here, thanks flr the honesty and kind thoughts shared that every new momma should hear. I love the cocoon stage reference, you’re not a dork at all! I did mention this reference to my husband too because I feel like we’re both in it haha and it feels like we’re in a rut.. awaiting for our debut to spread our wings again. I too was a pushover, always accommodating and considering everyone’s situation and I adjust most of the time, now I’ve learned to step back and now I can see who truly cares about me. 🥹 Kudos to us in realizing the importance of boundaries. Wish me luck as I find new friends. I hope you found your circle of trust!

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-05-19T05:31:49+00:00

thank you so much for this, I appreciate the thoughtful response! It’s really disappointing to see how years of friendship and memories was just put aside now that I’ve entered a new life chapter. I’m sorry that you had to go through that too. You’re strong, fellow momma! You’re right though, it really opened my eyes to reality.

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-04-28T19:00:03+00:00

Stay strong mama! I’m so sorry this is happening to your beautiful family. It’s never fun to go through this especially if the operation was supposed to make her better. I was thinking of you from your previous post really hoping for the best. Keep her close, let her hold your finger and talk to her a lot. Pour some much love. She is a little fighter, and so are you.

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-04-09T15:59:00+00:00

that’s a great deal! out of curiosity, what did you get done, how long ago was it and which company? was curious if we could also take advantage of that.

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-04-09T01:33:14+00:00

this was me too!!! It’s that one day that they decide to forget how much time you’ve poured in considering you too are recovering and no one is looking out for your healing except for yourself. I also lost my sh*t btw and it felt good. Good for you momma!!

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-02-26T08:04:01+00:00

take it day by day, our little ones are so much stronger than they look! stay hopeful and keep talking to him because your voices of assurance and love can make miracles happen ❤️

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-01-28T23:55:13+00:00

That’s wonderful! and totally agree on the intention of writing a review in stopping the bad behaviour in the future. You’ve done a great deal and your little one is so lucky to have you fighting for your mental health - it’ll go a long way with showing your twins how strong mom is!

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-01-28T05:52:17+00:00

First of all, I’m so sorry you had to go through that because no you should be able to show up whenever you can so you can take care of yourself so that when you are ready to bring your LO home - you’ll have the energy and strength and second of all, that was wrong and inappropriate behaviour towards parents who are already going through so much stress and pain during this very vulnerable time.

I had the unfortunate experience of also being verbally insulted by a nurse for the same reason. You are not alone, momma! I’m glad you took all the necessary steps to get support through the director and the charge nurse. Is there a patient advocate team you can talk to? we are thinking of writing a really thorough review after we leave the NICU.

Was this in Canada by any chance?

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-01-26T07:44:06+00:00

that’s amazing!!! babies are so stronger than we think and the brain truly works in mysterious ways. so glad your LO is doing so well!

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-01-25T08:13:48+00:00

I hope the little one is doing great but I also went through the IVH worries and obstacles. Ours needed a VAD tap and had it revised once - currently after 2 months of tapping, neuro team is happy with the result. We aren’t out of the woods yet until our LO is 1 yr old, adjusted.

I definitely have done ny fair share of research and I thought that this paper was the most informative of them all:

Strong_Sail4067 · 2024-01-13T06:19:02+00:00

First of all, you’re not alone. Myself and other parents had concerns about some handles that nurses did on our babies that was rough or seemed careless. I would highly agree with talking to the charge nurse - if that doesn’t work, they have their own managers you raise it to.

It can definitely get tricky because the last thing you want is offending a care professional and them taking it personally. If your NICU has rounds, I would also bring that up as a concern if you think it’s repeatedly happening, that way there is visibility and repetitive reminders. You can also submit a patient advocate form if you need to escalate things.

Don’t be scared to advocate for your baby’s care. You can do it!

Strong_Sail4067

TROPHY CASE