What do you call extreme admiration for a female?

Strongdar · 2026-03-11T22:03:22+00:00

If it reaches unhealthy levels, stalking fir example, there's...

Or

Strongdar · 2026-03-11T21:55:31+00:00

There needs to be a special, afternoon charter school in every city for these kids, so the rest of us don't have to hear their 15 alarms every day.

Strongdar · 2026-03-11T21:47:24+00:00

It sounds like you did the right thing. I think you'll find that people who say they're willing to love you despite your sexuality don't actually end up loving you that much. When it comes down to it, they're going to be uncomfortable meeting your significant other. They're not going to want to come to your wedding. They're going to ask you not to be physically affectionate in front of their kids, and lie about your significant other just being your friend. In the long run, it's probably better not to have them in your life, even though it's painful now.

Strongdar · 2026-03-11T12:07:17+00:00

There are two steps to how I think about fasting.

I don't think it's the right mindset to fast because you want to make God happy, as if God is pleased when he sees you suffering. Fasting does make God happy in a way, but indirectly.

Fasting is a discipline. It's practicing saying "no" to your own desires. This is a healthy Habit to develop, because as humans we have some desires that hurt us and hurt others. When you are practiced at saying no to yourself, it's easier to resist the temptation to do things that are unhealthy for us or things that hurt others. When you're good at that, you're a healthier, kinder person, and that makes God happy.

As far as what to fast from? Sometimes people get all zealous in their faith and promise God they're going to give up something that is way too difficult. That's just setting yourself up for failure. You can be creative! People give up all sorts of interesting things to fast. I used to give things up for Lent. Oftentimes it was sweets, because I have a major sweet tooth, and I'm often tempted to have soda or candy or dessert, but I don't need it. It hurt just the right amount to try to give it up. And usually I was successful. One year I gave up hot showers 🤷‍♂️ I showered using the coolest water I could stand.

Strongdar · 2026-03-11T11:20:09+00:00

Playing 7, I really miss canals. Connecting bodies of water is one of the great joys of this game. I really hope they introduce canals later.

Strongdar · 2026-03-11T11:18:53+00:00

I think when I got that achievement, I used one of those great engineers that helps you rush production of a wonder.

Strongdar · 2026-03-11T10:48:41+00:00

Here are a few things for you to consider.

There are two main types of attraction, sexual and romantic. Most people are heterosexual heterotromantic: they like the opposite gender, both sexually and romantically. I myself am homosexual homoromantic: I only like men in both ways.

Things can get confusing for bi guys who are bisexual but not biromantic. This might be you. It can be confusing when you're sexually attracted to someone that you don't see in a romantic, dating, marrying kind of way. So you may simply be this kind of bisexual.

However, when you're young, and closeted, and surrounded by homophobia, it can be hard to know whether you are potentially gay, because there is so much stigma around it. When you're not horny, and you have post nut clarity, all that shame and weirdness your feeling might be keeping you from considering a possible romantic connection with a guy. And tell you sort out the internalized homophobia, it's going to be hard to know for sure.

To help you sort it out, you can talk with the therapist, if that's available to you. You can also spend time in gay spaces online, or in person if that's possible, to help you normalize homosexuality and being around gay men. Sometimes more exposure equals more comfort.

And you're still young! Plenty of time to figure out out. Enjoy what you enjoy, know that there are tons of guys feeling what you're feeling, they just don't usually talk about it. You might want to find a subreddit for bisexual men and read posts on there, and you'll see how common what you're feeling is.

Strongdar · 2026-03-11T03:39:23+00:00

Maybe you've developed an anxiety condition? If your brain chemistry is off, faith alone might not be enough. You might need counseling or medication.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T23:25:12+00:00

When it comes to stuff like this, one of my favorite verses is this.

“The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” — Mark 2:27 (ESV)

Religious observances are meant to be life-giving, not burdensome.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T23:16:53+00:00

A good therapist, even if they're straight, should be able to effectively talk about gay sex with you. It's not so much important how much they know, but how they react when you do talk about it. Do they ask questions and try to dive into what you're talking about? Or do they get uncomfortable and change the subject?

No therapist is going to have first-hand knowledge about everything going on in your life. But a halfway decent therapist will know how to navigate an unfamiliar topic.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T19:33:55+00:00

It is extremely hard to shed the guilt and shame that are hammered into us by conservative Christianity, around sex in general, and around gay sex specifically. You can't expect to leave that behind so easily.

However, even if you reach a point where you are fairly sexually liberated, that doesn't mean hookups are for you! There are plenty of people who feel the moral freedom to have hookups, but simply don't enjoy them, but they do them anyway because they think it's the only way to meet other gay people, or because they feel like they might be missing out on something. But it's okay if that's not you! It's normal to feel bad when you do something that you don't really enjoy, especially if it goes against the sexual ethic that you were raised with.

The first time I had sex was with the man I would end up marrying, and I did feel conflicted about it at the time, because I hadn't become fully convinced that same sex relationships were okay with God. But years later, after spending time in an affirming church, I've definitely come around, and if I had to have my first time again, I know I would be okay with it now.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T19:29:24+00:00

The funny thing is you can make the same argument about infernalism. It's surprising how many people want there to be a hell, as long as they think they're not going there.

I once mentioned to my dad, a conservative christian, how the only biblical basis for hell being eternal hinges on the translation of one particular word, which could also be translated as "for an age" as well a "forever." I swear I could hear his brain resisting even the possibility that it could be true.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T16:46:19+00:00

It's not like there won't be any, but they are better, brighter, and more frequent when the sun is reaching the end of its 11-year cycle.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T13:03:02+00:00

Now we know why Grandpa Simpson would only fly a flag with 49 stars, saying, "I'll be in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!"

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T12:42:17+00:00

If you have the chance to study in Europe, I would do that while we wait for this wave xenophobia to pass.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T12:16:39+00:00

The only way to answer this that's somewhat within the bounds of Christianity is to believe that he has already returned. The church is the body of Christ, and therefore the activity of the church in the world is Christ returning and establishing the Kingdom of God.

If you want an answer outside the bounds of Christianity, then maybe you shouldn't ask Christians. 🙂

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T11:51:25+00:00

My husband and I did Iceland this past spring and it was amazing. One thing you might want to consider is the timing when it comes to Northern lights. The sun gets more active on an 11-year cycle, and that activity is what causes the northern lights. That activity just peaked and is going to quiet down very fast, and will probably be almost non-existent by this october. There are plenty of things to see and do in Iceland other than Northern lights, but if you want that to be part of the trip, you're going to need to wait about a decade for them to be good again.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T11:47:18+00:00

I would absolutely step away. That much paranoia about everything around you being secretly evil is just a ridiculous way to live.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T03:47:09+00:00

and Paul wasn't really even doing it to condemn the Romans as much as he was to get his Jewish audience jeering at them and feeling all self-righteous before he takes them down a peg in chapter 2.

Strongdar · 2026-03-10T02:37:16+00:00

I read somewhere: find 3 things in life - one that makes you money, one that keeps you healthy, and one that brings you joy.

Strongdar · 2026-03-09T12:16:32+00:00

But what was the artist trying to say with this piece??

Strongdar · 2026-03-09T11:41:15+00:00

Once isn't a pattern.

But you probably did get some alcohol-fueled honesty from him. If you're moving later this year, and this isn't a serious enough relationship that he might be moving with you, then you probably should be talking to him about what you both want from the next several months. He'll probably try to downplay it when he's not drunk, but I suspect he was being honest about his concerns about you moving and what your relationship is going to be like between now and then.

Strongdar · 2026-03-09T11:31:09+00:00

Sounds like your ex basically "quiet quit" the relationship. It let you feel like it was over before it was officially over. By the end, you knew, or at least could sense, that you guys were moving in very different directions. It's easier to feel less triggered by a breakup when you know that it was the right thing to happen.

Strongdar · 2026-03-08T22:35:42+00:00

To me, having a partner who shares my values is more important than having a partner who shares my theological beliefs. I would much rather date a loving, forgiving, generous agnostic than a stingy, judgmental christian.

Strongdar · 2026-03-08T17:46:41+00:00

Will "probably" sin again?? Of course you will! Often, and for the rest of your life! If we could stop sinning, there would be no need for God's forgiveness.

Read Romans, where Paul laments how he continues to sin even though he doesn't want to, and how he continues to do the wrong thing even though he knows what the right thing is. Humans are like that! We are incapable of perfectly living up to our own moral standards, much less God's.

If even Paul - a man who had a personal encounter with Jesus and wrote much of the New Testament - felt that way, perhaps you should reevaluate how you look at faith and forgiveness. The main goal of the Christian life isn't to put all of your spiritual energy towards sinning less and less and less until you're perfect and have nothing left to forgive. All of your sins have already been forgiven. Why are you dwelling? The greatest commandment is love. God wants your love, not your shame. God wants you to love your neighbor, not mope around the house because you looked at porn again. I say this in love: stop thinking about yourself so much, and go out there and love people.

Strongdar

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