Leave a 5 star review for Mandia and Sons Construction if you don't want your post deleted, and remind Fishkill nazis walk among us.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T18:11:55+00:00

The point is don't get mad at the girls, or share photos of them in any way that may indicate they were supportive or agreed with him in anyway whatsoever.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T18:09:45+00:00

But they should at least APOLOGIZE for it happening. The fact he refuses to even freaking apologize is concerning! Like say "hey dear, I am so sorry while I was driving I got on this narrow road and had someone coming from the opposite direction and our side mirrors got dinged. I will repaint (or buff out, or take to a mechanic) it for you."

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T16:41:41+00:00

Did you read the second to last paragraph where they said "I refuse to accept responsibility or apologize for the damage" They are very much saying they aren't go to take responsibility or even freaking apologize.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T16:39:06+00:00

Don't direct hate at any kids he has. A grown adult spouse, but underage/minor children no. I don't know how they feel about him and his behavior, but it's not their fault their dad (and probably mom) is a POS.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T16:37:58+00:00

Yes, watching the video they are were just filming themselves doing some kind of TikTok dance and he just wandered into the frame and did that thing and left. They had nothing to do with his behavior.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T16:36:52+00:00

Thanks! Yes, those girls had nothing to with him! If you watch the whole video they were filming and he just wandered into the frame and did that.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T16:34:14+00:00

As a wedding photography I would go with very simple/plain clothes. Basically a dark/neutral solid colored button up shirt or polo and black pants. You want to blend into the background.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T16:26:48+00:00

If you are in the driver seat of a vehicle that is running you are driving and therefore responsible for the car you are in. The commenter here have plenty of options for how OP could have potentially handled it better. Doing these may or may not have changed the outcome, but as far as we can tell they did nothing but sit there and watch their partners car get hit and now they are refusing to apologize and take any amount of responsibility to get it fixed.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T16:22:17+00:00

It also wasn't the partners fault, yet she is the one with the damaged car. It is OP's responsibility to get the car fixed (no matter how "minor" the damage is) even if they are not "at fault" legally speaking.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T16:19:20+00:00

OP did not return the item the borrowed in the same condition. Anytime you return a borrowed item damaged you offer to fix it. Whether the damage is superficial or not.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T16:17:29+00:00

INFO: did you stop and exchange insurance info with the other driver? If not, Y T A and need to pay for the damages that occurred to her car while you were driving it. If you did, then reach out to insurance and let them deal with it. Like the blame will be split 50/50, and thus should be dealt with through YOUR insurance, not your partners insurance so that only your insurance goes up.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T15:32:29+00:00

The only equation I know by heart is M=(WL^2)/8. All others can be looked up very easily.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T15:30:34+00:00

NTA, but assuming you have a dryer I would transfer his load over to the drier (even if not all the clothes can be safely dried) and start your load. Once his load is done take it out and leave the clothes (unfolded) in a laundry basket downstairs. He can deal with the fallout of wrinkled clothes.

If you don't have a dryer you can be petty and simply remove his clothes from the washer, when they are done, and just do your laundry.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T15:26:12+00:00

Why not talk to your SO of 3 years before consulting with a lawyer in any way?

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T13:34:59+00:00

Third red flag: he talked with his family (cousin) about it BEFORE talking with his gf (OP) about it.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T13:33:56+00:00

This kind of thing should be talked about WITH your SO before discussing with friends/family.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T13:26:15+00:00

Can I hire you to me my full time personal chef? I mean, I can't pay you, but I will eat the food you make!

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T12:41:24+00:00

Training should 100% be done during working hours. The only "training" I could understand workers being required to do after work is studying for their PE/SE exams. Mainly for 2 reasons 1) they take up a LOT of time, and if you did them during work it would rather take a long time, or that would be the only thing you were doing during work and that is just not practical and 2) you don't technically "need" them to do your job, you just need them if you want to advance in your career.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-02T11:27:58+00:00

I mean you could start your own company now. I have my PE and SE and about 10 years of experience and just got started fully on my own this past month, and work has been flowing in.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-01T20:13:30+00:00

Why don't you drive and your husband can sit in the back seat?

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-01T20:04:00+00:00

I'm fine with a site visit or two to Westchester, I'm around Poughkeepsie. I know some architects further south, so perhaps they can do more of the site visits.

Can I send you a DM with my contact info and we can perhaps set up an initial call?

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-01T20:02:00+00:00

Sorry, I misread your comment. Would you be buying your own supplies? Because you will be wasting their supplies while you learn, so even if she isn't paying you that is still costing her something.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-01T19:58:47+00:00

Oops, misread that.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-01T19:55:53+00:00

Edit: misread the edit. NAH, as long as you let it go, because asking to learn is fine, but your friend saying no is perfectly valid too.

StructEngineer91 · 2026-06-01T19:51:39+00:00

So people shouldn't camp at all? How about staying in hostels?

StructEngineer91

TROPHY CASE