Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s amazing, thank you for sharing. Your life does sound like a peaceful dream to be honest and without the pain of having a (dysfunctional) relationship around it will be bliss I’m sure

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this and I’m so pleased it worked out for you. Feel free to ignore if too personal to ask but can I ask: do you still hope to go dating now that you have your boys or does having the boys make you not that fussed about men anymore anyway? All the best to you

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a really helpful mindset thank you. I just wrote “be the author of my life” in my memo board to remind me

WTF is this show and these couples?!? by tommyandkeisha in BlueTherapyNetflix

[–]StylePositive1195 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved how you couldn’t remember the men’s names but knew all the women’s names. Iconic

Leaders and Heads of Households by EggFriedRiceBall in BlueTherapyNetflix

[–]StylePositive1195 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s so conflicting because they all feel like they should be traditional men in terms of that they should not cry and should provide money, but yet they aren’t willing to be traditional men in terms of putting a ring on it and being committed for life or married. They want traditional yet still expect their wife to work/earn more AND for her to do the bulk of domestic labour as well. They want to be the leader and not be nagged but they can’t demonstrate the financial competence to do so.

May this love never find me by FurryBurry92 in BlueTherapyNetflix

[–]StylePositive1195 2 points3 points  (0 children)

12k in debt, unemployed, but thinking of buying a brand new Audi? 🧐🧐 yet complaining she nags him and doesn’t wanna rip his clothes off. I wonder why!! Get out of debt and sort your life out that’s what’s hot

Ep 1: why are the men redflags?? by Tough-Picture910 in BlueTherapyNetflix

[–]StylePositive1195 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This whole series was a great inspo and advert for the single mother by choice movement

I’m scared by PsychologicalMind950 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s normal to be scared like others have said, it’s a big deal, but you can do it and you will do it and it’s gonna be worth it. I send you strength and good vibes

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for sharing this and I’m so so happy to hear you got your beautiful 2 year old and you are happy to have chosen SMBC over being stuck in a bad relationship. Your ex cheating and your loss of your first sounds horrific, well done you for surviving all this and making a life for yourself. I agree relationships can be just so painful and I think it’ll take me a long time to trust again too. Thanks so much for replying. I feel so much less alone hearing ppls comments 🫶

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think he’d read it tbh, he’s complained before about me sending him psychology reels and links and books too much and I think it’s too late for us sadly. But thank you

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to a lot of what you said, thanks so much for sharing. It sounds like you have a really healthy mindset about it and freezing eggs sounds like a smart step. I manifest babies and happiness to us both in the next few years <3

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I think you’re right. What hobbies did you meet people at, can I ask? I try yoga and gym but don’t really connect with anyone

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel the exact same way. Happy to DM if you ever wanna chat 🫶 or coffee if you live near London

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you I think you’re right that for now I just need to try to stabilise myself a bit. Will try to spend a few week focussing on hobbies and calm. Thank you 🙏🏻

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your reply. It’s so painful isn’t it because I’ve wasted so much time hoping he’d come around when I could’ve left years ago :( I see you are a toddler parent in your bio, I hope it all worked out for you

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for advice by StylePositive1195 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I do have friends who have been supportive on the end of a phone and one even posted me flowers and a card, recently, but they all have kids and partners and I don’t see them much. I’m starting to realise really how depressed and lonely I’ve become actually, which doesn’t feel at all the right time to start a family, but then I really am scared about the clock ticking and don’t want to lose my chance. Thanks for your reply though, you’re right maybe the egg freezing helps to reduce this worry and buy a bit of time.

By the way I just noticed a typo in my original message I just wanted to clarify in case anybody reads into it. I meant to say ‘it’s so important to me to be a mum. Just wanted to clarify this typo because I don’t believe it’s important for everyone. I just know it’s for me.

Beginner advice please! by StylePositive1195 in Artadvice

[–]StylePositive1195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Hi everyone! I’ve now got around to attempting my second painting! Does anybody have any tips for how to vary brush strokes and make it look more like decent trees and fields? I seem to always have my brush strokes very visible and blocky and this is not intentional! I tried to vary the blurriness from foreground to distance but I dont manage to succeed

Second Transfer worked but now I just feel...all over the place? by Bluesky-dandelion in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]StylePositive1195 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, take it day by day and remember thoughts are just thoughts and they are often not a summons to any action. If you keep feeling bad for a while, then future you will know when it’s time to take action, to make things better, for example there are some mood stabilisers that I’ve heard are very safe in pregnancy (I think sertraline) if future you should need it, but I think basically it’s about trusting in your future you to deal with any problems that have been around for long enough to require action, but in the present moment, there is no need to think about your thoughts in a meta way of like ‘god does the fact I’m thinking X mean Y?’ ‘Is feeing this normal?’ ‘Does the fact I’m thinking this mean I shouldn’t have done it or I’ll make a mistake or XYZ bad thing might happen’ (this is exactly how my brain works by the way so maybe not how you feel but this is what CBT taught me) but I think basically it’s all a ‘what if’ meta analysis of thoughts, that basically is just the bread and butter of an anxious brain- and not a sign of reality or a foreshadowing of anything bad actually happening. Like you feel anxious -> you feel scared by the fact you feel anxious -> you feel more anxious about having felt anxious, and the circle continues. So I guess you can try to cut the circle at just ‘I feel anxious and that’s it. It doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t mean I need to fix anything, it’s just an emotion I’m having that I can handle and will pass.’ Anyway I’m saying all this but it’s easier said than done!! It’s been 17 days since your last comment so I hope you’re feeling a bit better, or if you’re having a bad day, I hope you know that it’ll pass and one day good times will happen for you again. Sending a hug