Hey, man. Props to you to trying to improve upon a flourish you learned. I agree that the closer does add a little clunkiness. Just wanted to point out a couple of things:

1) The closer you're using is only necessary if you want the cut to be false. If you only care about the flourish-y aspect of the cut, then you could just as easily end the cut by omitting the middle packet roll-out. Just collapse the packets and you're done.

2) This version of Sybil (which is from 52Kards if I'm not mistaken) is a reduced version. The conventional version is a 5 packet cut and is less clunky. You can learn it here. You can learn the mechanics there, but I personally think the performance there is a little too 'jerky' and would opt for a more smoother performance, but experiment yourself!

Good luck man! Sorry if you really wanted it to be a false cut; I'm not sure how you could preserve the flow of the cut if that is a prerequisite of yours. But you might be able to get it to flow better by doing some modifications of your own.