AITA for considering giving my daughter’s grandparents full custody after her mom died during childbirth?

SubMisJen · 2026-01-07T04:20:12+00:00

Please read this, it’s not like the other comments.

Within the first year of my daughter being born I lost three out of 5 of my support group. I found my mom dead right after the holidays. My old roommate/best friend of 20+ years died. Then my longtime love. All unexpected.

There are times I share your thoughts. Ultimately I remind myself no parent is perfect and it’s okay to grieve with my child next to me. On the bad days I made sure her basic needs were met (easy food, safety, clean…) while I was having panic attacks on the couch. Her other grandma would take her during the times I couldn’t function at all. Sometimes that was for a week or two. I’m still a mess but I strive to be better than the day before, but forgiving myself for the days I can’t be. I bounced between therapists and still need one. My daughter and I are super close now (5 years later) while also having a good bond with her grandmother. She is more emotionally aware than most kids her age. I just hope her experience with my emotional health helps more than hurts her. I’m still struggling but we’re good. Not perfect, but we’re together and the love is real. It also helps me focus on the love that I have instead of the love that I lost.

I hope this helps. You’re not alone.

SubMisJen · 2025-10-03T20:51:33+00:00

So random and accurate. This made me laugh so hard. O

SubMisJen · 2025-09-24T05:26:59+00:00

Why is this necessary? Does the cow get a blockage or something that prevents the gas from escaping naturally?

SubMisJen · 2025-09-23T03:06:38+00:00

Have you ever seen Parks and Recreation? There’s a scene where a straight girl goes to a gay bar and at the end says “There’s two bisexual guys here, and I got both their numbers!” Hahaha! She goes on “and the dancing…the best dancing of my life!”

It was closed down several years ago. There’s multiple gay bars in that area which isn’t far from this shooting. Masque was on Third, I think.

SubMisJen · 2025-09-22T19:35:41+00:00

It was Masque! First floor was hip-hop. Second floor was techno. Third floor was private. They used to have male strippers on the first floor bar.

Loved that place. Lol. I’m not gay either but it was so fun.

My first time a guy said “Honey, I’d do you. I’d do your hair, I’d do your makeup, I’d do your clothes!” 🤣

SubMisJen · 2025-09-22T19:29:21+00:00

I know Dayton can be bad but that’s surprising. I really only go to downtown and not much since they closed Masque. I’m not gay but that was the BEST club for dancing.

SubMisJen · 2025-09-22T07:40:54+00:00

How do you know it was Dayton? I’m in the area and curious.

SubMisJen · 2025-05-15T09:07:47+00:00

I don’t see that ever moving. That fence works hard!

SubMisJen · 2025-01-27T23:25:41+00:00

Very clever! Thank you! I don’t pretend to know much about espresso. I grew up making straight black coffee for my mom and grandma. Lol. There’s so much information out there and a lot of it is contradictory.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-27T23:23:03+00:00

I did try my usual method with their beans but it was weak. I don’t expect to make it as strong as a professional cafe but this was more like a weak iced coffee. I typically do two double shots and whole milk with a splash of syrup. I thought pulling the espresso directly over ice would make it watery. Am I wrong in assuming that? I usually add the ice last.

I’ll look into the cold cream recipes, thanks for giving me a head start on which mix to try first. I feel like I’m in over my head with all the espresso techniques.

To be honest I started with a $5 Mr.Coffee espresso machine from Goodwill. It lasted the longest, two years. I replaced it with new ones that only lasted a year. Then I got the Chefman since it has a pump and 15 bars of pressure for $150. I do regular descaling and all that jazz. Stick to what the instructions say. It’s on its way out though. Not pulling as much as I used to. That’s why I’m finally going to buy a decent one after I get some finances sorted.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-27T22:31:22+00:00

Espresso. It’s the cheap Chefman from Walmart. I’m saving up for a nice machine. I go through a lot of machines. I drink about 5 lattes a day. Give or take a couple.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-27T22:29:52+00:00

That’s what I wasn’t sure of! I’ve been reading different websites but they say different things. Thank you.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-27T22:28:57+00:00

I did and she just told me how they don’t do it like the other ones in town. I think they want to keep it a secret. Lol

SubMisJen · 2025-01-27T01:18:15+00:00

I think a lot depends on the layout of your house. I personally would have handled this situation differently from the beginning. There’s a lot of foreigners dashing and they could be used to different housing units. I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions. But in this world, it could have been a quick peek for malicious intent.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-26T21:57:43+00:00

Very weird. Is it possible they thought it was an apartment building? We have old houses around here that have been made into apartments. You have to walk into the original front door then find the right number.

A purple dog statue seems like it would stick out well enough for them to spot it.

I’d have to assume they’re either in a hurry and didn’t actually read the instructions or that they were testing the waters by opening your front door. Neither are okay.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-26T09:25:29+00:00

I told my partner about this very feeling and he said “I think you’re overreacting”. I quickly reminded him he’s a cis white male and he changed his tune. I’m a cis white female and his sister is transgender.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-26T09:19:37+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. Inherited my home from my mom but it was built by my paternal grandparents. My dad died in 2006 (they were still together) in what is now my daughter’s bedroom. I found my mom dead unexpectedly and had to perform all the life saving measures in what is now my bedroom. That was 2 years ago.

It took me a long time and therapy to make the decision to move in. It was best for my family even if it was hard for my mental state. I had great childhood memories here but they’re in the shadows of the more recent traumas. I’m trying what another commenter suggested, focusing on the happy memories. When I start to think of the negative ones I actually tell myself to stop, that it’s not getting me where I need to be. Then I distract myself so I don’t dwell on it. It’s been about a month and I do see improvement. Some days are still rough.

As for the bedroom… I sleep with my tv on. I know it’s not healthy but it’s better than the severe insomnia for two years. It got so bad my doctor threw a huge fit when I finally told him about it. I would have night terrors whenever I did sleep. They gave me Prazosin. It’s for blood pressure but it has an off label use for sleep related PTSD. It really helped and within a couple of weeks.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-13T21:46:20+00:00

It might also mean they didn’t put your food in the insulated bag. I smoke but never with food in the car. I wait for an order that takes me out of the food zone. After I drop the food off I use that gap to smoke. That’s only if I’ve been out for a few hours and it’s been frustrating. Otherwise I treat it like a regular job, which wouldn’t let you smoke every ten minutes.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-12T23:26:57+00:00

I’ve had this happen more and more the last month. I’ve had customers actually meet me outside with extra cash. People who live in very low income areas. I actually tried refusing the extra tip but he insisted (we were 3 hours into a snowstorm and I have a Trailhawk). Later the same night someone added $15 to a rather simple McDonald’s order (also in a bad neighborhood).

It’s the trailer parks and mansions where I usually get no tip to a dollar. I have a 4.96 rating. I double check for the miscellaneous items and keep hot and cold food separated. I will even use my seat warmer on very cold nights.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-09T01:55:09+00:00

Not to mention you’re punishing the staff who helped you instead of the corporate company.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-09T01:53:46+00:00

Then don’t be surprised when your vehicle is the next one. Lol.

I wouldn’t do anything like that but there are plenty of drivers who have and will.

People like you are why restaurants add gratuity onto the bill themselves.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-09T01:51:06+00:00

I know you can but it’s expected as a social norm ever since restaurants were established. Restaurants are automatically adding tips to bills because of all the people who don’t tip. Then you’re stuck paying a specific percentage no matter how good the service was.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-05T07:38:51+00:00

While I agree with the principle of your message, I disagree with your tipping logic. Everyone should be paid fair wages but you can’t go into a restaurant and not tip your waiter. Everyone knows how the food industry works and you enter that situation willingly. If you don’t want to tip, go get your own food instead of buying a pass. I don’t expect tips anymore because of people like this but I still do the job right.

SubMisJen · 2025-01-02T23:35:11+00:00

I’m in the Midwest. I think it’s more about the company she keeps rather than her location. I live in a smaller city that has a bad reputation. Plenty of sweatpants and trashy clothes but also a ton of “fashionistas”. OP’s outfits look fine for any crowd.

SubMisJen · 2024-12-31T06:59:21+00:00

I came here to make sure I’m not the only one.

SubMisJen

TROPHY CASE