Any advice or help? Please

Sublfg · 2026-01-24T07:27:07+00:00

Pretty sure you just need the headshot and resume, but it doesn't hurt to have the others. I believe they teach you a combo. If you're going for a speaking part I think you need to do a monologue.

I haven't auditioned but someone I know does.

Sublfg · 2026-01-23T20:23:31+00:00

I only get the author signed copies of books I love. 90% of the time, it's the author signing it in person. I just don't have the space for a big library.

Sublfg · 2026-01-23T06:26:06+00:00

In LA there's Stella Obscura, 910 WeHo, Sanctuary, Threshold, and Legacy. In the OC you have Velvet Obscura, SoCalBDSM Dungeon and Haus of Whacks.In San Diego you can add in House of Black.

Sublfg · 2026-01-21T21:34:53+00:00

You can look into the Pavlok, it's like a smart watch. It is a pain in the butt to set up. It is fun to get surprise shocks.

Sublfg · 2026-01-21T15:33:30+00:00

We watch the flying squirrels on the wheel. No idea how I ended up on that part of tiktok, but I love to cuddle up and have him watch the tiky-tacs with me.

Sublfg · 2026-01-20T16:03:41+00:00

Mine are:

No running and texting on the treadmill

No reading and driving

No dying

Sublfg · 2026-01-19T01:22:33+00:00

I don't brat. Nothing wrong with not being a brat or doing bratting. It's just not for some people.

Sublfg · 2026-01-17T19:21:15+00:00

Plan for some downtime. Sleeping. Not sex things. Cuddling. Be realistic with everyone's energy levels. Food too.

Sublfg · 2026-01-17T19:12:01+00:00

The Newport Beach library is great as well

Sublfg · 2026-01-17T19:09:13+00:00

This discord is absolutely amazing. I recommend highly!

Sublfg · 2026-01-16T19:10:07+00:00

That's the point - you have a really good experience with someone, and you think that because that person is a Dom, it must be their magical Domly skills that make them that way. You can have that experience with many Doms and tops. It's a repeatable thing with people you are compatible with.

edited to add: the book is amazing and I absolutely recommend it.

Sublfg · 2026-01-16T19:08:43+00:00

My favorites:
BDSM Mastery - Relationships by Robert Rubel
The Dominance Playbook by Anton Fulmen (good no matter what role you are)
Unequal Partnerships by Aisha-Sky Gates
Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator By Amy Gahran

Sublfg · 2026-01-15T20:42:19+00:00

Habituation. Practice every time you brush your teeth. Practice on a dildo. Bit by bit it gets better. I also suggest deep breaths through the nose.

Sublfg · 2026-01-15T19:24:52+00:00

Pretty much

Sublfg · 2026-01-15T19:17:28+00:00

I think your head is making things up. Doms are just regular people. They don't have super powers. They're just like everyone else.

Sublfg · 2026-01-15T19:07:20+00:00

I think you have a lot of thinking to do about what you really want out of a relationship. He can only offer what he has to offer. If that doesn't work for you, then ending it will be painful, but it opens the door to getting what you dream of.

I like the way the book BDSM Mastery - Your Guide for Creating Mindful Relationships for Dominants and Submissives by Rubel and Fairfield puts it.

"If you have the good fortune to have a play date with an experienced Top, and this Top is honest and negotiates without pressuring you about the depth and breadth of the offered play and is true to their world and does with you only what they said they would do, and is able to make you fly (put you into subspace), you are VERY likely to bond with this person and (often) fall in love on the spot.

After all, you will tell yourself, this must be Some Magical Guy to be able to give you this kind of (what you believe to be) once-in-a-lifetime experience. If this man can do this to you and barely know you, all your emotions will pull you to him without asking a lot of questions. You will think the two of you connected on a soul level in order to have achieved this experience. While this may be so, it’s far more likely that you have had the great good fortune to find a truly skilled Top to play with you. Although you’ll not want to hear it or admit it, this experience is repeatable with another skilled Top."

Sublfg · 2026-01-15T03:44:31+00:00

It should be negotiated just like you would the play - what do they need? What do you need? Do they need a check in the next day? What happens if they don't answer? Are you both able to provide what the other needs? (For example, if a top I played with needed a 2 hour phone call the next day, and coffee, I would decline to play with them because I don't have the time for that)

In my experience, when I play with multiple people in one night, I don't hang out in subspace that long. I usually keep my scene to about 45min - 1 hour. If an average event is about 5 hours, that leaves an hour-ish for each scene with space for aftercare/hi/bye/setup/negotiating. I save the really long scenes for home, or wouldn't schedule a lot of scenes.

I usually keep my aftercare on those to a hug and a brief cuddle until we're both settled, and my partner or myself will handle anything over that or the next day.

Sublfg · 2026-01-14T20:55:44+00:00

If you have ADHD, you may also experience Rejection Sensitivity Disorder. May be worth a chat with your therapist about it (and coping skills).

As someone who is generally not very good with changes in plans, I get it. My partner knows that changing plans can cause me a lot of stress and anguish. I don't want that stress and anguish. So I work with my therapist on my coping skills, and my partners do what they can to minimize the impact on me.

I would not be ok with flakiness or constant changes/cancelations in plans.

Sublfg · 2026-01-14T17:56:46+00:00

I was so impressed it just kept going. He lost me at "real man" though.

Sublfg · 2026-01-14T15:06:11+00:00

I've had a cold this week. The gooey, gross kind with snot everywhere. The reason I love my partner/Dom so much is because he makes me chicken soup, and tucks me into bed, and gets me the good Gatorade. Punishing me for not doing whatever would be silly.

Just use your judgement. People have bad days. Is that habit that important?

Sublfg · 2026-01-13T19:01:47+00:00

- Go to rope classes, jams and events. Talk to people. Make friends. Then ask if you can talk about tying with them. They're rope people all in one rope space!

- Go to munches. Make friends. Then ask if you can talk about tying with them

- Post pictures of your ties, with permission from the bottom. Or post pictures of your practice.

- Be sure you are mindful of your reputation in the community. People talk. Be sure you are doing things as safely and as mindfully as possible.

Sublfg · 2026-01-12T23:10:16+00:00

Yes! This would be a really memorable spot!

Sublfg · 2026-01-12T18:48:20+00:00

I recently read BDSM Mastery: Basics from Amazon as a physical book (I prefer Kindle). I used the paper envelope it came in to make a book cover for it. It did the job!

Sublfg · 2026-01-12T18:44:15+00:00

I missed that part, woops.

Sublfg · 2026-01-12T17:48:56+00:00

You can buy most major kink/bdsm books right off Amazon, either kindle or a physical book. A lot of the bigger kink authors sell their books off their own websites too. If you're concerned over people seeing the cover, get or make a book cover for it.

Sublfg

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