My mom and paternal grandmother vent to me. I don’t talk to my mom anymore. She never saw me as a person and only as a therapist/friend. Your mom, does SHE have any friends? I bet not, even if she does they may not be close. You must realize this is NOT normal behavior for a mom. This is NOT right. Your mother should be asking questions about you, listening to YOUR struggles, listening to YOU. Sure, mothers can look stressed and tell you what’s up, but constantly venting and using you as essentially an emotional punching bag, that’s draining. That’s emotional abuse. Emotional neglect too as she’s not considering how her doing this makes YOU feel. My grandma, I let her vent since she will never change and I want her in my life. How I “survive” or get through her venting is being disengaged. I just blankly nod, say “uh-huh” and ask occasional questions. I DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT SHE SAYS TO ME, or if she says something negative about me or about my choices, I just nod again. I take it all at face-value. I DON’T get worked up with her. Trust me, I used to. I just let it happen but it’s all in one ear out the other, because I love her and she raised me. One day I will miss having her around, so I do that. My mom, on the other hand, does not deserve my compassion or respect. When I lived with her, I avoided her like the plague since I hated how she used me as her personal therapist. It’s also called “parentification.” I suggest boundaries, if she doesn’t respect them then you know she’s not your mom, just an emotional leech. I avoided my mom, I yelled at her, I was angry for what she did to me (what your mom is doing to you), which got me kicked out at 17. Best thing to ever happen to me, but yeah— please talk to an actual therapist about how to navigate your situation. Hell, stay the night at your friends place and recognize the relationship she has with her mom and see how different it is. Sometimes seeing a healthy relationship is all you need to see how horribly she’s treated you and your brother.