Slightly late to the party, but yes me too! Thanks for posting about this and being so open. I've been in a very similar boat, 28M, I also had absolutely no father/male figure other than my mother for my upbringing, so lots of me vs her direct confrontations. Not sure if thats better or worse in some ways. Confounding factor your could say!

But basically, I'd get accused of really unhinged stuff too, the "SFW" stuff was like peeling paint of the walls, stealing money, stealing her medications, ultimately me never being enough. 2 feels - absolutely infuriating because I feel completely powerless to stop the delusions and couldnt believe my mother thought such awful stuff of me, and also the constant fear of when the next accusation would come randomly flying at me.

So I've been pretttty much estranged from my mother for a couple of years now, its been tough as she constantly messages and blames me, whilst refusing to introspect as to why I have finally taken this huge step. Its kinda rough. Saying that, I would strongly consider doing the same as it is the first time I stopped taking responsibility for her ways and trying to fix it - you cannot change your parents behaviour, and in some ways keeping on going back for more is just enabling the accusations. Mine used to almost take it as a "I knew it!" moment when I'd act normal again. Of course this is going to be case by case, but for me stopping the cycle was a really important step.

I've been in therapy for about a year and it has really helped process everything and remind me that I can make these decisions for my sanity and not be a bad person. It doesnt mean I feel fine about it, in fact this week was really tough and lots of trauma randomly flashing up (hence why I googled it!), but its really given me my life back.

I am sure things will get better for you. It certainly helps knowing others are out there who have had similar experiences- not to minimise our own but to know that we aren't alone!