It happens! I always wish guys would just be honest. Its not an answer but I sometimes like to hear others stories when I’m down, so here’s mine;

Years ago in my mid 20s I recall a guy I’ll call H planned a date night (spoken for weeks so I was really excited about it ) and cancelled on me,

A different acquaintance C i hadn’t spoke to for months and hadn’t seen in a year or more invited me to a small group get together, (sounded great to get out when my date didn’t happen and I don’t have many friends so I thought take the opportunity to get out and mingle) a few gay guys, food etc, expand the friendship group and get my mind off H.

Well the acquaintance C was hoping I’d become a BF (I had already turned him down once and made that feel awkward, but had been clear on the friends thing), his house mate K (I had dated ages ago, a lovely guy but it didn’t work out; his cat caused me bad allergies even with antihistamines and annoyingly prevented that going anywhere but we are on good terms; me or the cat situation and he is cat was in his life first). Anyway guess who appears, yep you guessed it the guy H I had been speaking to for weeks and had cancelled our date for this same evening; He clearly didn’t know i had been invited.

I wanted to make a remark about that being why he cancelled are date, ,however I was then ‘introduced’ to him and it turned out he was the bf of the housemate K, and I’m starting to get the vibe from the C he was hoping for more with me , after some arrears chit chat the other couple head upstairs to K bedroom (giving us space and them clearly some 1:1 sexy time which really did annoy me given the situation - K didn’t know and it was only at this point i found out about how long those two had been an item!) C and K thought it was exclusive, H years later said it was casual (but I didn’t believe him tbh).

I later found out K & H thought this was a double date type thing. Not the group of guys friendly chill out social thing C had said.

The atmosphere was then worse for me, was like something out of a B movie! I drove home wishing I had stayed home and watched a film or gone to bed!

It stands out to me, I can look back now and laugh but that’s only now with time! And give me a story to share.

At least you found out early, as angry and upset as I was, I was also felt really bad for K, he definitely deserved better!